


The Making of A Pack

by Mrs_Fenris



Series: The Lives of Wolves [3]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 49,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Fenris/pseuds/Mrs_Fenris
Summary: Act one with my own twists.Tala Hawke and Fenris build a relationship while navigating the mess that is Kirkwall. Tala is a guarded secret mage, who has a hard time trusting others.





	1. Chapter 1

Hawke and Bethany's last job for Athenril was a trap, set up by none other than the boss herself, to incur more debt and keep her best men around awhile longer. Hawke dropped the package onto Athenril's desk, proceeded to tell her exactly where she could stick it, before storming out.

A week later has them, Hawke and Bethany, trying to get hired by Bartrand. It didn't go well, but they meet Varric who offers a plan for them to be partners with him and his brother. Step one, see if Aveline has a job. She does but it isn't for another few days, so Hawke makes for the Hanged Man to speak with Varric. They spoke about getting a map from a Grey Warden hiding out in the city and made a plan to find him and enlist his help.

Tala walked into her uncle's hovel, located conveniently around the corner of the tavern, to her mother and uncle arguing about money. Gamlen informed her she had some letters, and after reading she came across one that stood out. Athenril referred a dwarf named Anso to her, and she bolted out the door to have her other dwarf check it out, if it was legit they would take it tomorrow.

Morning comes and the four of them head out to Lirene's Ferelden Imports to find the Grey Warden.  
Lirene “If you're seeking aid, leave your name with my girl. We serve everyone here, no one came from Ferelden without trouble. But I can't give priority to anyone who's already found work and lodging."  
Hawke “I hear you know where I can find a Ferelden Grey Warden.”  
Lirene “Only Ferelden Wardens I've heard of is on the throne. Why would you need a Warden.”  
Random Woman “The healer was one of them once wasn't he, A Warden?”  
Lirene “Well, he's not now. And busy enough without answering fool questions about it.”  
“Then I'll only ask very smart questions.” Hawke says with a smirk on her lips.  
Lirene “I do not joke, serah. This healer, he serves without thought for coin. He's closed their wounds, delivered their children.”  
Aveline suspiciously asks “And yet he needs to hide?”  
Lirene “He's a good man, I won't lose him to the blighted Templars.”  
Hawke _'Great an apostate, ah well no going back now.' _“Tell me he's got killer eyes and a nice smile, I'll marry him on the spot.”  
Lirene laughs at this “As it turns out he's got the eyes, but I've never seen him smile. I suppose you can find him, Anders has been open enough with his services.” __

Upon leaving they are come upon by a group of Fereldens. “Heard you in there asking about the healer, we know what happens to mages in this town. We'll not lose our healer.”  
Bethany bursts out before anyone else can get in edgewise. “Look, we're Fereldens same as you, trying to keep out of Templar sights.”  
They head to the Hanged Man but on the way the catch some swindlers pedaling fake Ashes of Andraste. They deal with the swindlers, and head back to the guardsmen.  
Aveline “The thieves are gone, guardsman.”  
Guardsman “What was that I didn't hear you, and silly me I seem to have dropped a coin purse in your hand.”  
Making Hawke chuckle. “Subtle.”  
Aveline scoffs. “Not now, Hawke.”  
With the face of innocence, Hawke turns to Aveline. “What?”  
Aveline “You know what."  
Varric breaks the fight he senses brewing. “To the Hanged Man!”  
Hawke deadpans “The Hanged Man.” 

A few hours later.  
Bethany looks over the table at the dwarf. “You don't seem to like your brother much.”  
Varric “And here I thought it took blood magic to read minds.”  
Bethany “I had a twin brother, Carver, he used to tie my braid to the bed while I was sleeping. I never thought I'd miss him this much.”  
At that Hawke signaled for a drink, she wasn't ready to talk about her brother, but she wouldn't stop Beth.  
“I'm sorry about your brother, hey want mine I got a spare.” Varric says with a tight smile.

Three cups later.  
Beth looks to Varric again. “Are you really not afraid of apostates?”  
He raised an eyebrow. “Sunshine, I'm a dwarf.”  
Bethany “Dwarfs aren't totally immune, you know.”  
He breaks into a grin. “Not what I mean. There are at least thirty people in Kirkwall alone who want my family dead over trade deals. Who has time to worry-“  
Varric gets cut off by Hawke jumping up. “It's time!”  
Bethany blinks. “Really?”  
Hawke “No, but if I have to listen to this banter anymore I'm going to throw myself out a window. Let's go.”

Hawke sees the dwarf in question cowering in the shadows. “Are you Anso?”  
Anso “AHhh! Sweet mother of Partha! You can't just sneak up on someone like that. Are you the one Athenril told me about, Hawke?”  
Hawke “That's me.”  
Anso “My apologies Hawke, I keep thinking I'll fall up into that sky any minute.”  
Varric laughs “Bartrand used to be like that.”  
Bethany “What a bizarre thing to be scared of.”  
“But I digress.” Anso says bringing the attention back to himself. “I need some help, badly in fact, some product of mine has been….misplaced.”  
Hawke “What did these men steal?”  
Anso “They smiled and everything. But my client wants them very, very badly. You know how Templars can be.”  
Hawke _'Lyrium, great. Ooh Great, blackmail, if necessary.' _“We'll take it!”__  
Beth a bit scared “We will?”  
Aveline outraged “What! Hawke I will not help you smuggle!”  
Hawke smiled “We're not smuggling, we're retrieving stolen property.”  
Aveline sighs “Fine.”  
Hawke “This better be worth our time.”  
Anso “Oh! It will. They conduct their business in a house in the Alienage, the first on the left.”  
Hawke “Let's go guys.”  
Once they get in the hovel Hawke stops them chuckling, bends to disarm the trap, “At least make it a challenge for me.” After dispatching with the cronies inside they find the chest empty.  
Varric muttered 'Who put us up to this.' But Hawke felt something else was going on.  
When they left the house they were ambushed by a group of slavers who had a pet mage, typical. After dealing with them they went to leave only to be stopped by the leader.

Pathetic Man “I don't know who you are, but you made a big mistake coming here. Lieutenant, I want everyone in the clearing now!”  
An unsteady man answered his call. “Captain…” his hand on his neck, dripping blood, before he falls, dead.  
A new voice entered the mix, deep and dark, caramel and gravel. “Your men are dead, and your trap has failed I suggest you run back to your master now.” As he swaggers down the steps.  
Pathetic Man “You’re going nowhere slave!”

_________‘A slave, not anymore it would seem.' _Hawke thought as the so-called captain put his hand on the new man in a very possessive manner. The new man glowed blue turned around and shoved his hand into the captain's chest, killing him. Hawke and Aveline had seen far worse done to men by the darkspawn, and Varric was just as unfazed but Bethany gasped and retreated behind her sister.__ Fenris pulled his hand from the dead man.  
“I am not a slave.” Were the first words he said to Hawke. “I apologize. I had no idea the hunters would be so numerous.” He faced away, and waited for the traitorous blow to come.  
Hawke just smiled and said. “We've faced worse.”  
Fenris turned “Impressive. My name is Fenris. These men were Imperial bounty hunters seeking to reclaim a magister's lost property, namely myself. Crude as their methods were I couldn't take them alone, thankfully Anso chose wisely.”  
Fenris looked as the woman with dark brown hair and bright gold cat-like eyes looked him up and down, though not as Danarius had done, she was assessing him for threat. When she looked into his eyes he was surprised to see respect, most look at him with fear and loathing.  
Hawke smiled and said. “That seems like a lot of effort to find one slave.”  
Fenris “It is.”  
Hawke “Does it have something to do with those markings?”  
Fenris _‘Ah, the markings.' _“Yes, I imagine I must look strange to you.”__ She smiled. “Different doesn't mean bad.”  
Fenris _'What does she mean by that?' _“I did not receive the markings by choice. Even so they have served me well, without them I would still be a slave.”__  
Hawke raised an eyebrow “Everything Anso said was a lie, then?”  
Strange woman, looking at him with strange knowing eyes. “Not everything, your employer was not who you believed.”  
“If you couldn't fight them, why not just run?” Again she was looking at him like she knew the answer but was going to make him say it anyhow.  
Fenris “There comes a time when one must stop running, when you turn and face the tiger.”  
Hawke nodded. “If they were really trying to recapture you then I'm happy we helped.”  
Fenris _'Truly?' _“I have met few in my travels who have sought anything more than personal gain. If I may ask: What was in the chest, the one they kept in the house?”__ Curiosity sparked in her eyes for an instant. “It was empty.”  
Fenris _'I should have known.' _“I suppose it was too much to hope for, even so I had to know.”__  
Hawke “You didn't need to lie to get our help.”  
Fenris “That remains to be seen.” He bent down and rifled through the captain's pockets, Danarius' seal, and a map. _‘He's here!’ _“It's as I thought, my former master has accompanied them to the city. I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees. I will need your help.” _'This is the moment of truth.’ _____  
A smile lit up her face. “See was that so hard. Of course, we'll help. Lead the way Fenris. I'm Tala Hawke, by the way, this is Aveline, Varric and Bethany.”  
Fenris gave a slight bow “I will find a way to repay you, I swear it.” Fenris lead the way.  
They had been walking for a time when Hawke pipes up. “It sounds like you intend to do more than just talk.”  
Fenris “Danarius wants to strip the flesh from my bones and has sent so many hunters I have lost count. And before that, he kept me on a leash like a Qunari mage, a personal pet to mock Qunari custom. So yes I intend to more than just talk."  
Hawke “So Fenris, where did you get a voice like that?”  
Fenris stopped and stared before gruffly responding. “Tevinter.”  
The women gave a small laugh. “So your former master is a crazy blood mage?”  
_‘Is she making a joke of this?' _“Yes. That does not mean you should make light of this.” Fenris growled.__ She stopped and the smile fell from her face. “I'm not making light, but I am making sure that I enjoy the fact that his death will mean one less blood mage who thinks that magic makes them better than everyone else.”  
Fenris “It seems we are in accord with that sentiment.”  
She snorted “Accords all around.”  
Aveline smiles, she clears her throat. “Hawke, I have duty in an hour, I need to report in.”  
Hawke “Now? Did you step on Jeven's toes again?”  
Aveline “Something is wrong with that man, but no I requested this.”  
“All right bye-bye guardsmen!” Hawke said as she planted a sloppy kiss on Aveline's cheek, which was promptly wiped off.  
After the guardsmen disappeared Into the shadows Fenris spoke. “Hawke.” Strange people. “You have a guardsmen running around with you?”  
Hawke “Only when she's not on duty. And no she's not corrupt, in fact she's the least corrupt person I know.”  
Fenris “I wasn't going to suggest she was.”  
She smiles, her eyes take on the knowing look. “No, but you were thinking it. Is this it?”  
Fenris “Yes.”  
Hawke “We shouldn't wait any longer then.”  
Fenris “Agreed.” 

Upon entering the mansion Fenris spoke out into the darkness. “I am not afraid of you, Danarius!”  
Hawke sighed “You're not much for subtlety, are you?”  
Fenris “No.”  
Hawke “Well, I'll have to teach you sometime, that is if you don't mind mercenary work.”  
Fenris “No." Hawke's face fell "I don’t mind it, that is.”  
Hawke “So wanna join?”  
Fenris “I'll think about it.”  
She snorted “Well, that’s better than a no.”  
Fenris is stopped by Hawke's arm. He glares at her, but she just smiles. “Unless you want to lose a limb, maybe I should disarm that.”  
They fight through the manor, Hawke disarming all traps and proving quite formidable against Danarius' spirits, she saved Fenris’ life twice over. But Fenris learns her companion is a mage, why didn't he notice sooner?

  
When they finally reach Danarius' rooms the magister is gone.  
“Gone. I'd hoped, no it doesn't matter any longer. Take Danarius' valuables if you wish, I need some air.”  
Fenris exits the manor with a whispered 'Oh Flames!' from Hawke. A mage, he hadn't even noticed, too focused on Danarius.  
Upon Hawke and her companions exiting Fenris addresses them. “It never ends. I escaped a land of dark magic, only to have it hunt me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and my soul, and now I find myself in the presence of yet another mage.”  
Bethany straightens her shoulders. “You can speak to me directly.”  
Fenris “I saw you casting spells inside, I should have realized sooner what you really  
were." He turned to Hawke "You harbor a viper in your midst. It will turn on you when you least expect it, that is in its nature.”  
Hawke's eyes narrowed taking on a dangerous edge, sparking like flint, as she came between Fenris and Bethany. “My sister is stronger than you think, and so am I.” with that she summoned healing magic to her palm.  
Bethany smiled “You tell him sis.”  
Fenris felt her magic tingling his markings, and strangely enough, there was no pain, as there had been previously when around magic. Hawke's magic felt pleasant, not that he was going to admit it to himself, strange. “I'm not blind. I know magic has uses, and there are undoubtedly mages with good intentions. But even the best intentioned mage can fall prey to temptation, and then their power is a curse to inflict upon others.”  
Bethany sighed. “No one's stopping you from moving on you know.”  
Fenris “I imagine I appear ungrateful, if so I apologize, for nothing could be farther from the truth. I owe you a debt, here is all the coin I have as Anso promised.”  
Fenris handed Hawke his coin purse, and she immediately counted it. _'Fasta Vass, does she think me incapable of simple pay-' _His internal rant cut short by Hawke placing a few gold back in his hand. “What's this?”__  
Hawke smiled “Your share. There's more where that came from, that is if you want to help. Do you want to?”  
Fenris “Should you have need of me I will remain here, if Danarius wishes his mansion back, he is free to return and claim it. I am at your disposal.”  
Fenris takes the room Danarius vacated, after dragging in a different bed that is, he sees no reason to find something else it is serviceable and has a fire place. They left the elf to his mansion and headed home.  
Hawke sighed “Out with it Varric.”  
Varric “I didn't know you were a mage.”  
Hawke “And if you want to keep breathing, you keep believing it.” Hawke said, eyes sparking like flint.  
Varric “Why? Your sister's-“  
Hawke “If people knew it would be one more problem to deal with, and make it harder to protect Beth. So please just leave it.”  
Varric “Sure thing, Sparky.”  
Hawke “Is that my nickname?”  
Varric “Yup. Hope you like it because it's staying.”  
Hawke chuckled “But why 'Sparky'?”  
Varric “Your eyes spark like flint. When someone says something about Sunshine, and just now too.”  
Hawke “It's good, Sparky, I like it.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next Afternoon. Tala bid Beth good-bye before slipping out to see if her new recruit was still willing. She made it to the market, and bought some berries and bread, that she ate on the way, before heading to meet the elf.  
She knocked on his door twice before he answered. “Afternoon, Fenris. May I come in?”  
He said nothing but stood aside for her to get by. “What do you seek?”  
Hawke picked up on his meaning right away. “I’ll let you figure that out for yourself. You wouldn't take what I said at face value anyway.”  
“You are skilled: I know that much.”  
“Well, stick around and find out.”  
“I shall, for a while at least.” He shrugged, she smiled.  
They made their way to his room. Hawke sat on the bench with the fire at her back.  
“You've said Danarius is a magister, but little else.”  
“In Tevinter the Magisters hold all the power: The Chantry, Imperial court, and life its self. It is nothing for one to own a slave, Danarius had many, but none he valued so much as me.”  
“Then how did you get away?”  
Fenris scowled “Is it not enough that I did? I carved my path to freedom in blood. I left that life behind, yet his bounty hunters followed no matter where I go. I will run no longer.”  
“Do you think your old master will keep hunting you?”  
“He is too proud not to. Perhaps one day the hunt will cost him more than he is willing to pay, but that doesn't matter any longer.”  
“I've seen some of your abilities, do they come from those markings?”  
“Some. All I know is even in the Imperium, warriors such as myself are rare. Perhaps they believe I should feel honored.”  
“Your old master must want something more than just a runaway slave.”  
“He doesn't want me at all, just the markings on my skin. They are lyrium. Burned into my flesh, to provide the power Danarius required of his pet. Now he wishes his investment returned, even if he must rip it from my corpse.”  
She flashed him a sultry smile. “Seems like a waste of a perfectly handsome elf.”  
He chuckled then, coughed to cover. “The truth is I know nothing about the ritual that placed these markings on me. It was Danarius' choice, one he now regrets. I need a drink.”

Hawke buries her head in her hands. _‘What was that? He tells me a horrible person who has been hunting him wants to rip the lyrium out of his skin, and you think flirting is the appropriate response? It seems like a waste of a perfectly handsome elf, flames what is that!' ___  
Fenris returns with a bottle of wine, saving her from further self-deprecation, she smiles at him.  
“Agerggio Pavali, there are six bottles in the cellar. Danarius used to have me pour it for his guests. My appearance intimidated them, he said, which he enjoyed.”  
“I don't know why they would be put off.” She said lower lip bitten into her mouth, and eyes sketching his face.  
“You say what's on your mind, I'll give you that.”  
Hawke mentally slapped herself. _'No, no I think I lost my mind. Or maybe you broke it.' ___  
He takes a drink of the wine before chucking it at the opposite wall. “It’s good I can still take pleasure in the small things.”  
Hawke pouted “You could have offered me a glass first you know?”  
Fenris pointed to the cellar “There's more, if you're really interested.”  
She smirked “Parish the thought, how else would you redecorate the walls?”  
He laughs deep and throaty, which she enjoys, and counts as a win.  
Fenris moves to take the seat opposite Hawke. “Hmm. I wanted to leave my past behind, but it won't stay there. Tell me, have you never wanted to return to Ferelden?”  
“I grew up in Ferelden, it will always be my home.”  
“The blight is over you could rebuild what you lost, do you truly not want to?”  
“My mother came from Kirkwall, our heritage is here.”  
“Someplace you can put down roots, I understand. Still to have the option, must be gratifying.”  
Hawke could hear the emotions in that statement but knew that pressing the subject would be a worse idea than her horrible, uncontrolled flirting. “You could track your former master down, I assume.”  
“He has returned to Minrathous, I dare not go near he city while he is alive. No, it's better to wait for him, fight from a fortified position. I do not expect your help when that day comes, but I would not turn it aside.”  
“You have it, unequivocally.”  
Fenris blinks, unused to others so readily offering to help him. “I, thank you.”  
“You've been on the run along time?”  
“Two years now, it never takes him long to follow. This is the first time I've given him pause. Perhaps there are advantages in numbers.”  
“Haven't you sought help before?”  
“Hirelings when I could steal the coin, never anyone of substance, until you.”  
He smirks, and she smiles at that.  
“Do you intend to keep living here?”  
“For now, it's as good as any other place. I would return to Seheron if I could, but there is no life for me there.”  
“Is that where you're from?”  
“So I'm told.”  
“Where you young when you left then?”  
“Perhaps.”

_'He doesn't want to talk about it, move on.' _She smiles “Then don't leave, stay.”__  
He smiled back. “I can see myself staying, for the right reasons. I should thank you again for help against the hunters, had I known Anso would find me a woman so capable, I would have asked him to look sooner.”  
_'He flirted, wait did he?' _“Perhaps I should be thanking Anso.”__  
He smirked “Maybe you should. Perhaps I'll practice my flattery for your next visit, with any luck I'll become better at it.”  
_'He is!' _Smiling “I like the sound of that. Oh, we have a job, if you feel up to pestering mages?”__  
Fenris chuckled “Always.”  
Fenris went to his sword as she stood.  
“Oh, um I know this may sound weird, but could you not tell anyone I’m a mage?”  
“I thought that obvious.”  
“I mean anyone, even the group, even Aveline.”  
She had a pleading look to her he couldn't help but acquiesce. “Of course, Hawke.”  
Smiling bright “Thanks, I owe you one.”  
“Here I thought it the other way around.”  
She stopped. “No, Fenris. You paid, you owe me nothing.”  
He hmmed and continued to walk beside her.  
“We just have to pick up Beth and Varric.”  
“Very well.”

The rest of the walk was spent in a comfortable silence.  
“This is my uncle's hovel, you're welcome to come in if you wish.”  
“I will remain here.”  
Hawke smirked. “Okay, just give me a minute, and Beth and I will be out.”

The door is thin and Fenris can hear everything.  
Leandra “My children have been in servitude for a year, they should be nobility!”  
Gamlen “If wishes were poppy, we'd all be dreaming.”  
Hawke “This is the way things are, Mother, Gamlen can't change them now.”  
Gamlen “Your mother was supposed to marry the Comte De Launcet, but instead she ran of with some knife-eared Ferelden apostate! You don't get to stay the favorite when you do that!”  
Fenris _‘Hawke's Father was an elven apostate?' ___  
Leandra “Where's Father's will, if I could just see-“  
Gamlen “It's not here, it's in the estate vault, it was read no one looked at it again.”  
Hawke. “That touched a nerve, what's in there you don't want Mother to see?”  
Gamlen “Nothing!”  
Hawke and Bethany headed to the door when Bethany spoke up. “So I hate thinking badly about family but, did Gamlen seem slippery when he spoke of Grandfather’s will? If he ‘invested’ Mother’s money would he lie about it?”  
Hawke huffed “Gamlen can’t say ‘good morning' without lying twice.”  
Bethany “Mother's been so upset since Gamlen told her how angry her parents were, about father. She said, she wishes she'd died in Lothering too. I wish we could get some of her happy childhood memories back.”  
Hawke “After the deep roads expedition is through, we'll buy the estate back for her.”  
Bethany “Gamlen told me he gave the estate to some slavers as payment, for debt.”  
Hawke “Good, then we can break in, and I don't care if we kill them.”  
Bethany “Mother gave me her old key, it opens the cellar door in Darktown.”  
Hawke “We'll go straight there after we deal with the Warden.”  
Hawke and Bethany exited. With one look in his eyes Hawke sighed and said. “You heard all that, didn't you?”  
Fenris “I apologize, The doors appear to be quite thin. ”  
A sad chuckle escaped Hawke. “I bet you're happy you choose to wait here instead. So, want too help kill some slavers after this?”  
Fenris “Always.”  
They made it to the Warden’s clinic, but only after two scrapes with thugs. When the door opened the mage was using magic to heal, but it felt strange and disjointed.  
Fenris had felt this before, in mages who were possessed, but what demon would help a mage heal people? Hawke stopped.  
Hawke felt healing magic before, had used it herself, but this was wrong, it's like the magic is attacking itself. “I don't like this, he feels funny.”  
Varric chuckled and tapped her. “We need those maps Sparky.”  
Hawke “I know.”  
Fenris looked at Hawke. _'He feels funny? What that supposed to mean, mages can't feel possession, not like I can.' ___  
After the Warden finished healing he turned on them staff in hand, and with and eerily doubled voice, he said. “I have made this a place of healing and salvation, why do you threaten it?”  
Hawke stepped forward, palms out placating, and carefully chose her next words. “I’m just here to talk.”  
Varric spoke next. “We're interested in getting to the deep roads, we heard you might have a way.”  
Anders. “Did the Wardens send you to bring me back? I'm not going, those bastards made me get rid of my cat. Poor Sir-Pounce-A-Lot hated the deep roads.”  
Hawke snorted. “You had a cat, named that, in the deep roads?”  
Anders “He was a gift, noble beast. Swatted a genlock on the nose once, bugger nearly ripped him in half.”  
Hawke “I'm part of an expedition into the deep roads, any information you have could save lives.”  
The Warden appeared to ponder something. “How about, a favor for a favor?”  
Hawke smirked “Let’s be specific, I don’t do anything involving children or animals.”  
Anders “I have a map of the depths in this area, but there’s a price. I came to Kirkwall to aid a friend, a mage, A prisoner in the wretched Gallows. Help me bring him to safety and you shall have your maps.”  
Hawke “You want to make your friend an apostate?”  
Anders “That's such a weighted term. It goes against no will of the Maker for mages to live as free men.”  
Hawke chuckled lightly “The Divine might disagree.”  
Anders “The Maker doesn't speak through her.”  
This time Fenris spoke up. “He doesn't speak through you, either.”  
Anders “Never mind, I don't wish to debate. You want the maps this is the price.”  
Hawke “Attacking Templars? I'd rather take my chances with the darkspawn.”  
Bethany whispered to her sister. “As just as his cause is, it scares me.”  
Anders “If we fight the Templars, it will be their choice.”  
After they got out of the clinic and stood by the estate cellar door, Hawke spoke. “I don't like this.”  
Varric “We have no choice, Sparky.”  
Hawke “Ugh!"  
Fenris _‘This is upsetting her, but why do I care? Perhaps I can be of assistance.' _“If the Templars do show, would not killing them all solve the issue?” >__  
Hawke blinked at him, a small smile graced her face. “Yes, I rather think it would, thank you. Well, who wants to kill some slavers?”  
With that they entered the cellar, and dealt with the slavers. Hawke was a precision whirlwind, graceful and terrifying. More than once Fenris caught himself watching her fight, it was amazing, and he all most got a blade to the back for it. The slaver that was poised to strike him was suddenly incased in ice, Bethany saved him. Gruffly he thanked her before he shattered the man, and went on fighting.

__


	3. Chapter 3

That night they headed to the Chanty. Though they dealt with the group 'The Guardsmen Pretenders’ on the way. After taking out their leader 'Captain’ Qerth, they made it to the Chantry.  
“Let's go.” Tala tells Anders.  
Anders “When we find Karl, let me do the talking.”  
They had found him, in a manner of speaking, he was tranquil. He had sold Anders out, and the Templars showed, but Anders did something strange. Anders started to glow, and the funny feeling came back, along with the eerie doubled voice. After the Templars lie dead at their feet, Karl speaks the real Karl, he begs Anders to kill him. Both Tala and Bethany would rather die than be made tranquil.  
“Please, help him.” Tala begs, and Anders kills him. 

They head back to Anders clinic.  
Hawke “So, you're an abomination?”  
“You're wrong, but not far wrong.” He tells her about Justice.  
Beth speaks up. “You tried to help a friend. Surely no harm can come of that.”  
Fenris cuts in, his voice harsh. “Of course. No harm ever comes from good intentions, even when magic is involved.”  
Anders sighed. “Normally I would argue that. I wanted to help Justice, I really did. But when I see Templars now, he is no longer my friend, he is a spirit of Vengeance.”  
They talk more, and he offers his help. 

Tala decides they need a drink, Anders declines, but the rest head to the Hanged Man. They enter to a group of men getting their arses kicked by a busty pirate. Tala decides to speak with her.  
“You're new around here aren't you? Keep your wits about you, you're nothing but tits and ass to the men in this place, and they won't hesitate to grab at both.”  
“I can take care of myself."  
She smiles “Good, I like to see a woman with confidence. I’m Isabela, previously 'captain’ but without my ship, the title rings hollow. You’re Ferelden aren’t you, you have that look about you. I was in Denerim not too long ago. You know you might be just what I’m looking for to solve a problem of mine.”  
Tala likes the pirate, and smiles. “Can't anyone fix their own lives around here?”  
“Must be something in the water.” They talk and Tala agrees to watch her back next week at night in Hightown, but invites the pirate to join them for a drink and a round of wicked grace.  
Three hours, four mugs and two games of wicked grace later. The pirate is looking at Fenris in a way that reminds him, all too much, of Danarius at the slave market. “I enjoy a man with markings like that.”  
Fenris “You've enjoyed many, I suspect.”  
Isabela “Where I come from their called 'tattoos' sailors get them all the time.”  
Fenris “Not made of lyrium, I'd imagine. “  
Isabela “Not a one. And the pictures are different, usually breasts.”  
Fenris “I suppose a pair of lyrium breasts tattooed onto my chest would make things better.”  
Isabela smirked “That's me, I'm a helper.”  
Bethany Hiccupped and then announced. “Tala has a tattoo!”  
Three pairs of eyes flew to Hawke, and she blinked. “What?”  
The pirate gave her a sultry look. “What is your tattoo, sweet thing?”  
Hawke laughed. “Not telling.”  
The pirate turned her sultry look to Beth. “What about you, sweet thing?”  
Bethany “I don't have any tattoos.”  
Isabela “I meant, will you tell me what your sister's tattoo is?”  
Bethany “I don't know what it is. I only know she has one" she hiccups "cause I found her needles and ink.”  
Fenris found himself curious about the tattoo as well, having never seen one before. The night went on, and Hawke kept refusing to tell.  
About half an hour later. Hawke and Bethany bid goodbye, and Fenris thought it best to get home, as well. Hawke is halfway home when he exits, and she turns and yells. “Good night, Fenris, sleep tight!” he rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Hawke.”

After he was safe inside he began to think of the day. _'Hawke let an abomination live. Probably because he was a mage, mages stick together. I can't trust her, she's a mage her sister is a mage. Mages can't be trusted, but she is skilled and willing to go after Danarius. So, for now, I'll work with her.' _Her image flitted through his head just before he fell to sleep.__ Fenris woke in a cold sweat, brands lit and breathing hard. He dreamed of her, Hawke, but she was among the Fog Warriors he murdered. He looks outside, it's before dawn. Fenris spends the rest of the night going through battle moves, and swinging his sword, anything to keep his mind occupied. Hawke woke in the early morning, she had dreamed of James again. There was nothing to do that day, no job to go on. Aveline had just got off rotation a few hours ago, so she would be asleep, and as a result her usual way of taking the dream off her mind was gone.  
_'Perhaps Fenris would be up for a sparring session?' _Hawke decided to see if the elf was indeed willing.__ It was well past morning when Fenris was stopped, from a knock at the door. He opened it surprised to find Hawke standing there with a basket of food. “W-why are you here?” his voice ruff from disuse.  
She chuckled, handed him the basket. “Thought you might be hungry, we had extra.”  
Realizing he had not eaten since the scraps of bread the day before, and the smell makes him hungrier. “Why do you care if I'm hungry or not?”  
Her bright smile faltered a bit. “I know we just met, but I consider you a friend Fenris. I hope, maybe, one day you'll feel the same.”  
“That's it, no ulterior motive?”  
“Nope.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.  
“Look. I wanted to see how you would feel about, maybe, sparing sometime. But that is not an ulterior motive, just thinking my friend would be a great body to move against.”  
He raised both eyebrows, and her eyes went comically wide.  
“I-I meant work as in a great work out, for sparring!” Her face was beet red. Hawke placed her palm on her forehead. “Maker take me now. I used to spar with another who used a greatsword, and loved it, I just thought it would be of benefit to us both. Now I'm going to pitch myself off the docks.”  
Fenris began chuckling. “Or you could come in, as I was already practicing some moves, it would be nice to see how they would fair against a person.” He smirked “That is, if you think you can keep up.”  
She smiled back “Oh, I'm going to make you eat those words!”  
The round started slow, each trying to get a feel for the other. He slashed, she dodged, she jabbed, he parried. After about ten minutes all bets were off, and they barely held back. Fenris enjoyed it in a way he hadn't expected, the mindless repetition, and the ability to watch her fight without question. Hawke was graceful and quick, and adapted well, she was an amazing opponent. They only stopped after they were both breathing too hard to continue, and the sun indicated it was well past noon. They went to the room he occupied and ate some of the food she had brought, with fervor. After she caught her breath. “You are amazing.” Chuckling. “As are you. I had not thought a mage to be so proficient at close combat.”  
“Magic serves that which is best in me, not that which is most base. That’s what my father used to say, what do you think that means?”  
Fenris’ brows furrow “Blood magic, not to do it, I suppose.”  
“Nope. Well, yes, in a more literal sense. What are the most base parts of people? Their emotions. When magic serves emotions it rules the mage. When the mage controls their emotions, the magic serves them.”  
“Makes sense, but I fail to see the relevance.”  
“When I fight, I don't use magic, because it's not how I want my magic to serve me, that and I tend to see the field through the eyes of a rogue anyhow. But, you don't like magic, so let's talk of something else.”  
“Probably for the best.”  
“You don't trust me, and that's okay, right now. But, do you trust me to have your back on the field?”  
Fenris looks to her, surprised. “You have saved my life few times, yes, in battle.”  
“And Anders? What do you think, will he not kill innocents?”  
“He is an abomination, but I have never met one that healed people.”  
“I knew he felt funny. Ugh. It just seems wrong to kill the only healer these people have.”  
“He may not kill innocents yet, but he will.”  
“Then on that day, he will die. Until then, we'll just have to keep an eye on him.”  
“We.”  
“Well I figured you doing so was without question, you have been watching Bethany and I closely.”  
“And you see more than you let on.”  
“Always have. Aveline needs some help dealing with some highwaymen planning an ambush on the coast tomorrow, want to come?”  
“I will.”  
“I also wanted to ask, if you are badly wounded in battle, would it be okay for me to heal you?”  
“Why are you asking?”  
“Because you may be unconscious, and uncomfortable with the idea.”  
“You may, but only if it is an emergency, or something a potion can't deal with. Then you have permission, but if that abomination touches me with his magic I'll kill him.”  
“No arguments here, I don't exactly like the idea of magic that attacks itself, healing me.”  
“Attacks itself?”  
“That's just how it felt to me. I was right, but I think I'll get some blunted weapons for next time.” 


	4. Chapter 4

After resting and some of the food eaten, they bid farewell.

The next morning Fenris, Hawke, Bethany and Aveline went to the coast.  
Aveline looks ahead. “There may be some stragglers before the main group, nothing we can't handle.”  
Aveline was right, after fighting through them they found the ambush site.   
“Stop.” Hawke breathed. “Two traps dead ahead. Okay, you three stay there. I'll stealth and take out the traps before I reveal myself, fighting is the signal.”  
Hawke disappeared not waiting for confirmation. In minutes the traps were disabled and Bethany, Aveline and Fenris had joined the fight.   
When they were done, Aveline spoke. “Well equipped for bandits, but dead is dead and the road is clear. Captain Jeven needs to know of this, back to the barracks for your reward.”   
On the way to the keep they ran across a dwarf and some mercenaries getting attacked by spiders, after taking care of the spiders, Hawke spoke to the dwarf. “Out of your element, dwarf?”  
“No thanks to this lot. But you, you're what a man needs: a skilled enthusiast.”  
Hawke raised her eyebrow “Your mess just picked me up on the way by.”  
“Still better than what I had. Name's Javaris Tintop, and I need someone to help me with the qunari. They have an explosive that anyone can use.”  
“I doubt they were eager to sell.”  
“The Arishok aid I wasn't worthy, only Tal-vashoth were that mercenary. They weren't any more receptive, but it got me thinking. If I get rid of the Tal-vashoth, he'd be willing to bargain. Are you up for some paid hunting?”  
“I suppose there could be a reward for these Tal-vashoth.”  
“I don't care why, as long as you do it. There up on the Wounded Coast.”   
They made it to the keep after that with minimal trouble.   
“Wait while I explain.” Aveline went in and they heard shouting minutes later.  
Jeven “I don’t know how they do it where you’re from, Guardswoman, but I decided the patrols not you, and your whims! You may have been put up for lieutenant in your first year, but I won’t have any show-offs in my command! Have I made myself clear? Report to your post before I have you and your Ferelden accomplice jailed!”  
Aveline walked out, slamming the door shut behind her.   
Hawke smiled. “Well, what a charming fellow.”  
“I don't have to like him, but he could at least listen. Bandits are dead, that’s all that should matter. It’s not the first time he’s made me wonder like this, something is very wrong.”  
“Want to see whose toes you actually stepped on?”  
Aveline nodded and sighed. “What have I stepped in this time? Threaten my friends, not letting that one go, captain.”   
They checked the roster. A Guard named Brennen had that route, and a satchel that she passed to a Guard named Donnic, he had the night patrol in Lowtown. They decided to wait at the Hanged Man till dark.

Hawke, in boredom, snagged some paper and ink from Varric to doodle on.  
Bethany “How come you and Wesley never had children? I mean, sorry, if that's to personal.”  
Aveline “It's alright. I was a soldier and he was a Templar, we knew our personal lives would have to wait. Distance never mattered, but we ran out of time. It is what it is.”  
Bethany “Now that he's gone do you ever wish-“  
Aveline “Now that's too personal.”  
Varric “I didn't know you were married.”  
Aveline “He died in Lothering.”  
Varric “What happened?”  
Aveline “Hawke.”  
Hawke looked up at her name, having been lost in her doodles. “What?”  
Aveline “I'm going to get some lunch for us, be back in a bit.”  
Hawke “Okay.”  
Varric “What's wrong with the food here?”  
Fenris “Perhaps it was not the food, but the conversation.”  
Hawke “Bethany, what were you talking about?”  
Bethany shifted “Wesley.”  
Hawke sighed and shook her head. “Bethany.”  
Bethany downcast her eyes. “Sorry.”  
Varric “Oh, there's a story here.”  
Hawke's eyes were hard. “Drop it Varric, it's none of your business.”  
Varric grumbled. “Fine.”  
Hawke slid the paper across the table, it got caught on Fenris' mug, and got up to get a new page. He looked at it, it was a skillfully sketched forest.  
Varric “So Milady Sunshine, what's going to be your first act as a noblewoman going to be?”  
Bethany “A noblewoman with no fortune and no title? Looking for a job I expect.”  
Hawke chuckled as she sat back down.  
Varric “Practicality is for peasants, my lady. You need to do something frivolous to celebrate your birthright.”  
Bethany “Such as?”  
Varric “Come up to the Hightown markets and complain bitterly that there's no Orlesian silk that matches your eyes.”  
Bethany “But what if there is some that matches my eyes, what then.”  
Varric “Insist that they are blatantly copying you, and demand royalties. A good noble always has a complaint ready, Sunshine.”  
Hawke chuckled. Varric turned his attention to her.  
Varric leaned on the table towards Hawke. “So, now that the guard is gone, what was that fight about the other day?”  
Hawke “What fight?”  
Varric “The one that I stopped, when we dealt with the fake Ashes of Andraste.”  
Hawke “Oh, that? I told her that the guards were never going to do any good until they changed.”  
Varric waved a hand in front of him. “Do tell.”  
Hawke sighed “They need to mix up their patrols, no set schedule that is easy to learn. Get rid of the loud armor with the guard insignia on it. Teach them to sneak up on a criminal, instead of sending them running. Just a few things. She doesn't appreciate my input.”  
Aveline returned soon after, with enough food for everyone, and after they finished they set off to save Donnic. The others left Varric's room before Fenris, and while no one was looking, he grabbed the two drawings Hawke had done and tucked them away in his belt.

They heard the start of a fight in a back alley and went there.  
Donnic was on his knees with some bandits around him, and a blade at his throat. Hawke disappeared from sight, only to reappear behind Donnic. She held them off while Aveline, Bethany and Fenris raced to join. It was a tough fight when the reinforcements attacked from behind. Fenris was trying to hold them back when he felt a shimmer of magic, and was surprised he recognized it as Hawke’s, she had appeared behind him and was healing a wound he hadn't realized was there.

Together the group won.   
Donnic “Who? Ave-Aveline, Maker you're a beautiful sight. “   
Aveline’s cheeks tinted slightly red. “Guardsmen?”  
Hawke _'Is she blushing?' ___  
Donnic cleared his throat “I mean, they came out of nowhere. I took a few them down but they overwhelmed me. This route was supposed to be quite.”  
Hawke bent down and rifled through the satchel. Fenris recognized the seal. “The Seal of the Viscount, office details, city accounts.”  
Hawke “Valuable to a guild of thieves.”  
Fenris “Selling out his own?”  
Hawke smirked up at him. “Forget Guard Captain, this man needs to be in Government.”  
Fenris thought it funny, though his face remained impassive.   
Aveline outraged. “Not now, Hawke. A sacrificial delivery with one of our own, Jeven will answer for this! He will see how Justice works. This goes to the office of the Viscount. This will be known. He likes his thieves so much, let’s see if they welcome him in prison.”  
Hawke “Well, it's too late now, I'll come with you in the morning.”  
Aveline “Sounds good, in the meantime, Donnic let's get you to a healer.”

___Fenris walked with Hawke to the front of the Hanged Man, Bethany bid him goodbye and went home._  
Hawke “Want to come in for a drink?”  
Fenris was tempted, but he didn't want to be in a crowd right now. “I don't wish to drink at the Hanged Man," Hawke pouted slightly "but perhaps you could join me at the mansion for a drink.”  
Hawke smiled and chuckled. “So long as we actually drink, and don't redecorate.”  
Fenris “You have my word.”  
With that the pair set off to his mansion. Hawke sighed. “I just want you to know, the blade had hit an artery. “  
“I see, I had not even realized I was wounded.”  
“That happens, it's the adrenaline.”  
“How did you notice when I had not?”  
“My training. When I took to the blade, I learned to pinpoint the weakest places to hit, studied the body to learn where the major arteries lay to make quick work of someone.”  
“Really?”   
“It's quite amazing how my healing lessons helped my assassination abilities.”  
“You trained as an assassin?”  
“I didn't train to be one, though I was trained by one, it's just how the abilities present to others. When I was at Ostagar my commander often sent me out alone to scout, and assassinating enemy scouts before they could spot me was best. ”  
“You were at Ostagar?”  
“You want the whole story?”  
They had reached his mansion, and he opened the door for her, before he reset the trap he had taken down that morning. They trekked to his room, the basket of food still half full sat on the table. 

___Hawke turned to Fenris, lower lip bitten into her mouth, and said. “I have a confession, no one at home was even awake when I left, the food wasn't leftovers.”_  
“I suspected as much.”  
“What?"  
“You live in Lowtown, with three others in your home. That is enough food for two meals, only the rich have that much as leftovers.”  
Hawke laughed. “So, do you want to know about Ostagar?”  
“Yes.”  
“We, we were auxiliary not apart of the army. We just wanted to protect our home, and each other, from the darkspawn. Captain Varel, the one I was assigned to noticed my abilities, to fade in the shadows yet notice everything. He assigned me to his scouting group. I went out on recon with them, we were in the Wilds for three days following a group that was maybe thirty strong. Randall was spotted by a genlock archer, and the genlock had reported to his friends. While I was sleeping, it was my shift, they surrounded us. It was just the four of us, I made it back to camp two days later, alone. If I hadn't been able to heal myself, I'd be dead. After that I was sent on recon missions on my own, Captain said I brought back better information about the 'spawn than any other group.”  
By this point they had made it through half of a bottle of wine. Hawke was feeling warm and fuzzy.  
She chuckled. “This is good stuff, I'm actually feeling it.”  
“Danarius only drank the best.”  
“So what you're saying, is that his only redeeming quality is his taste in wine?”  
Fenris laughed. “It would seem so.”  
A few hours and two more bottles of wine.   
Fenris curiously looked at Hawke, leaning her head against the bench, flushed from drink he had a sudden bought of curiosity “How does your magic serve you?”  
Hawke laughed, and looked at him questioningly. “You sure you want to talk about that?”  
“I asked didn't I.”  
Healing magic lite her palm for a moment. “Healing, I love it, and plant magic, making crops grow faster, give better quality food, using it on my herb garden so I can continue my experiments.”   
“I've never heard of plant magic.”  
She shrugged and waved her hand dismissively “It probably has a different name, that's just what I call it.”  
“You enjoyed experiments?”  
Hawke began laughing. “Oh, Father would get so cross with me when I would go through a week's worth of supplies in a day."  
Fenris enjoyed the sound of Hawke's laughter, and that confused him just as much as his inviting her here, but he is far to drunk to care. Fenris' mouth seems to be on the same page as he says. “I enjoy your laugh.”  
“And I, sir, enjoy yours. And your voice, oh it could lead a Chantry sister to sin.”  
Fenris stares at her as she laughs more, before flopping onto her back.  
“Is that so?”  
“Mmm, Maker, talk more please.”  
“What is it you wish to hear?”  
“Doesn't matter, you could read last years almanac to a farmer and have them hanging on every word.”  
Fenris chuckled, but Hawke scooted over and placed her head on his leg. Fenris was surprised that her touch was not painful. Anyone touching him, even dwarfs, has always caused pain to flair in his markings. Her touch, it felt soothing, and rather than try and figure it out he acquiesced to her wishes.  
Hawke fell asleep curled around his leg, and Fenris was too drunk and tired to move her, he fell asleep as well. Fenris spent that night in peaceful sleep, as he had not ever done in his memory. 

__Hawke woke to find herself curled around the leg of a very asleep elf. Her face scrunched up, as she remembers the previous night. She extracted herself from him carefully so as not to wake him. Once she had extracted herself and was certain he was still asleep. Hawke wrote him a note, and took the blanket from his bed and draped it over him._ _

__

___Dear Fenris,_  
I am headed to the keep to   
help Aveline with Jeven. I will   
return just before dark. Hopefully  
you will be free, and willing, to  
help me take out a Lowtown gang. 

__The Sharps._ _

__T.H._ _

__Hawke met Aveline at the keep. Aveline presented the information to the Viscount, Jeven was taken to prison and Aveline made Guard Captain._ _


	5. Chapter 5

Hawke came home to find Bethany tell Gamlen to go out for a walk that he “needed some air'.  
She went to see Aveline for lunch, though as Aveline would always share with Hawke. When she got to the captains office, Varric was there.  
Aveline “Varric no.”  
Varric “You're the captain, or you will be, it will be easy.”  
Aveline “I'm not petitioning the Viscount to help you steal ownership of the Hanged Man.”  
Varric “Steal? Madam you wound me!”  
Aveline “I'm about too.”  
Varric shakes his head and leaves.  
Aveline “Big changes are coming, huh? Captain of the Guard. Thank you, Wesley.”  
“That you keep his memory speaks well of him.”  
“He's not with me I know. He's either at the Makers side or he's not, he knows no pain now. What I keep is that moment, I won’t let anyone down like that again.”  
“You doubt he's with the Maker?”  
“Wesley believed, and if he’s correct that’s where he is. But this 'The less the Maker does the more he's proven'?”  
“You married a Templar.”  
“I married a good man. And now he's gone. But the chant is lovely. “  
“I don’t see how you can take the blame for the darkspawn hoard.”  
“I didn’t cause his death but I also didn’t prevent it.”  
“Do you blame me?”  
“I did, I didn’t want to. I know what had to be done and so did Wesley. But in my heart, that cut was cruel.”  
Hawke felt guilty, and thought a change of subject would help them both.  
“I could get used to having the law on my side.”  
“You'll behave yourself is what you’ll do.”  
Hawke pouted. “You never let me have any fun.”  
Aveline smiled. “I think that's best for everyone.”  
“I look forward to working with you, Guard-Captain Aveline.”  
“Thank you, Hawke. Now you came for food.”  
Hawke laughed, and they ate.

Fenris woke feeling cold, and took him a moment understand why, Hawke was gone. But he had his blanket wrapped around him, and there was a note on the floor. He couldn't read it which frustrated him, but he tucked it into a book above the mantle, along with her drawings from The Hanged Man, he was certain it was from Hawke. Fenris found himself at a loss for what to do, he could ‘accidently’ bump into her, but she would ask about the note.

Fenris sulked unsure what to do, and as happens when he is idle, he began thinking of Danarius. Fenris futility tried to pull the thoughts from his mind.

Hawke finished lunch and was debating what to do, but was feeling guilty, and decided to go see if Fenris was in the mood for company or rather sparring. She stopped at the market and purchased some practice weapons.

Fenris was partially pulled from his past with a knock on the door.  
Muffled Hawke spoke. “Fenris, I know you're in there I can see the trap is still armed. You know, I can teach you how to hide it better.”  
Fenris had started to the door the moment he heard her voice. When he swung the door open Hawke could tell something was wrong, but before she could say anything, he, In a severe and low voice, asked.  
“Would you spar with me. I-I mean if you don't have anything else to do.”  
“No, not until tonight. Of course, I'd love to spar, but are you going to help me out tonight? Not that your answer effects mine, I will spar. I picked up some practice weapons from the market.”  
Fenris nods and lets her in. “Yes I will help tonight.”  
She smiled. This time neither held back at the start, not to say they were trying to kill each other, but their weapons were blunted and they both had things on their own minds that they wanted to work off. After they finished sparring they went to rest in his room.  
Hawke smiled. “Fenris, if you want to spar, you can ask me anytime. As long as there isn't anything important that needs me, I will.”  
Fenris gave her an appraising look. “Thank you, it works both ways.”  
“Okay.”  
Hawke stretched on the bench she was laying on, and Fenris' eyes followed the lines of her body. When he realized what he was doing he ripped his eyes away, and glared at the fire. Hawke rolled on her side and smiled at him  
“You have the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow. “I have pretty eyes?”  
“Mmm-hmm they remind me of the forests in Ferelden.”  
“Do you miss it much?”  
“Yes, I used run through the forests all the time, it's what I miss most about that place.”  
“Why did you run through the forests? You were being chased by Templars, I assume.” Fenris smiled to let her know it wasn't meant to be mean.  
Hawke chuckled. “Oh har-har. No, we used roads for that." she stuck her tongue out "I ran in the forests, because I was a kid and I enjoyed it.”  
Hawke looked out the window. "We should get to Lowtown now.”  
They left and after taking care of the Sharps and their leader Ignacio Strand, they said their goodbyes.  
The rest of the week was spent mostly bored, Fenris and Hawke had a few sparring sessions, other than that it was slow at work.

The night to help the pirate arrived, and Hawke was practically bouncing with energy, as they waited for nightfall.  
Isabela spotted them as the entered the courtyard. “There you are. Hayder hasn't shown up, no one has. I don't like this.”  
Varric stepped forward. “ 'I don't like this' that is almost as bad as ‘What could go wrong?' “  
A new voice entered the mix. “There she is! Gut the bitch!”  
They fought, found Hayder in the Chantry, fought some more. And the Hawke was propositioned by the pirate, after Hawke offered to help and the pirate did the same.  
They all headed to the Hanged Man, Anders had joined them as well. Everyone had about four cups of watered-down ale.  
Bethany was a lightweight, as far as anyone could tell, and she looked at Fenris. “So the magister put lyrium, in your skin?”  
“So I'm told.”  
“Does it hurt?”  
Some emotions leaked into his voice. “You don't want to know the answer to that.”  
Anders was starting at Hawke like she was a goddess. It irritated him for some reason, and he spoke to the mage. “Did I hear correctly, you are an abomination?”  
Anders “Why don't you shout? I don't think everyone heard you.”  
Fenris “Do you see yourself as harmless, an abomination who would never hurt anyone?”  
Anders“Like ripping someone's heart out of his chest?”  
Fenris “I did that at the behest of no demon.”  
Anders“So we agree it doesn't take a demon for someone to be a vicious killer? Good.”  
Fenris was about to retort when a giggly Hawke dropped into his lap. He let out a grunt. “Venhiedas, women what are you doing!”  
She giggled again. “I wanted to feel your hair.” She slipped her fingers In his hair before he caught her wrist.  
Fenris _'What?' ___  
Varric muttered then. “Rivani, what did you do to Sparky?”  
Bela “She wasn't getting drunk, so I slipped something in her drink.”  
Fenris “Hawke, get off me.”  
She giggled. “But you're so soft, I want to pet you more.”  
The dwarf and pirate busted out laughing, but the abomination glared at Fenris.  
_'Wait, soft?' _Hawke wrestled her wrist free and began stroking his hair.__  
“Fasta Vass, woman stop!” Fenris deposited Hawke on the seat next to him, and she pouted.  
The pirate piped up. “You can pet me, kitten.”  
Then Anders. “Or me, you can pet me anytime.”  
Hawke pouted at them. “But, I only wanna pet soft Fenris!”  
Then Anders scoffed. “Soft and Fenris don't go together.”  
Hawke nodded vigorously, and clung to Fenris’ arm. He tried dislodging her a few times, but that only resulted in her pouting and clinging tighter. She spent the night mumbling to him to which he found responding ‘yes, Hawke.' Would satisfy her.  
He finally got rid of her when Bethany peeled her off to go home. He returned to his mansion, and vowed to never let the pirate spike Hawke's drink again.

Hawke woke with a pounding in her head, a healing potion took care of that. The shame of what she did, no potion could fix that. After a quick breakfast, her and Beth got ready by putting on their armor and grabbing their weapons. “Beth, will you head to the Hanged Man and get Varric and Bela ready for the trip?”  
“Sure, so is this where you go pet Fenris?”  
Hawke stumbled and grew red-faced. “N-no. We need a warrior and Aveline is busy. No petting!”  
Bethany laughed and headed to the Hanged Man. And she headed to make amends, or get a fist in her chest, either one was fine with her. _'I petted him, I actually petted him, Maker what is wrong with me? I called him soft!'_  
She was passing by the Lowtown market when a deep male voice pulled her from her thoughts. “Hawke.”  
“Fenris! I was just coming to find you.”  
“Is there something you needed? I'm afraid that petting is no longer an option.” Fenris said with a knee-weakening smirk, as she turned red.  
“I'm so sorry."  
“Just watch your drink. What's the job?”  
She told him of Sundermount, and the witches amulet.  
“You trust this witch?”  
“Not even as far as I can throw a Dragon, but she saved us, and I gave my word I would do this.”  
“Very well.” 


	6. Chapter 6

They made it to Sundermount, but only after killing the raiders and bandits who attacked them along the way.   
They approached the elves. And spoke before finally being allowed in.  
Keeper Marethari spoke. “Let me look at you da'len.” Tala's brain itched the way it always did when Father spoke elvish. “You have a truth in your face, rare for a human, and a light in your heart. Don't lose it, da'len you will need it for the trials to come. Tell me how this burden fell to you?”  
Hawke smiled. “A Dragon fell from the sky, charred some darkspawn then asked me to bring you this amulet. No big deal.”  
They spoke more, she was to take the first to do the rite of the departed then take her to the city. Hawke, with Fenris to her right, Wolf to her left while Bethany, Isabela and Varric in the rear, they walked up the path and heard an inhuman humming sound coming from behind this small elf girl. Strange. 

Merrill “Oh I didn't hear. You must be the one The Keeper spoke of. Aneth ara. I'm so sorry I didn't ask your name, unless, it's not rude to ask a human their name is it? I'm Merrill, which you know already, I'm rambling sorry.”  
Hawke “Did you hear that strange noise?”  
Merrill “Oh….I didn't hear anything.”   
Hawke eyed her. _'She's lying.' _“My name is Hawke. Nice to meet you.”__  
Merrill “Thank you. I'm not very experienced with your kind, sorry. The Keeper said you're Ferelden, I spent most of my life there. Do you like it here?”  
Hawke “I miss the cold. And the dirt. Kirkwall’s not brown enough for me.”  
Wolf whined at her, sensing her longing, and rubbed his head on her leg.  
Merrill “The dirt and muck gave it character. We should go, you don't keep Asha'bellanar waiting.”  
Hawke nodded and they headed up the path only to run into skeletons. 

___They won the fight but Hawke had a new concern. “The Keeper didn't mention you were a mage.”_  
Fenris spoke. “I imagine it's difficult to give away something nobody wants.” That remark hit a spot she kept held deep within.   
Merrill “All Keepers know a bit of old magic. The stories say we all once had the gift, but we lost it. It's a Keepers job to remember, to restore.”  
Hawke “Yet you risk the city's Templars?”  
Merrill “In the city, I can get lost in the crowd.”  
Hawke “Keep turning skeletons into toads for us.”  
Merrill “But I never-oh right not literally. Happy to help.”  
They fought more before they ran into another elf, who spoke with venom towards Merrill. “So she finally found someone to take you away from here?”  
Merrill “Yes.”  
Varric “I sense a story here.”  
Beth “So, this is awkward, anyone else think this is awkward?”  
Merrill “I have made my choice, and I will save our clan.”  
Hawke “What's going on here, Merrill?”  
Merrill “Just ignorance. Let's go.” 

___After several more fights through a cave passage, they get to a barrier._  
Merrill “One moment.” Then the blood flowed from her hand, Hawke could feel the demons, the barrier fell.   
Fenris “Blood magic, foolish very foolish.”  
Merrill “Yes it was blood magic but the spirit helped us didn't it?”  
Hawke was on the verge of ripping her heart out. “Call it what it is! You summoned a demon, I can still hear it whispering to me!”  
Everyone could hear the voices, the veil so thin here.  
Merrill “Demons are spirits, like honor or joy. It's not their fault they are what they are.”  
Fenris “Ignore the tiger, not its fault it's going to eat you. Sound advice.”   
Hawke was no longer pleased to meet her as soon as the ritual was over she was dead. After another tough fight they reached the altar, and Flemeth came out of the amulet. They spoke and when it was finished she turned into a dragon and left.   
Hawke pulled out her dagger and nearly had Merrill in range but Varric got in the way.  
Hawke's jaw clenched. “Varric, move.”  
Varric “She's just a kid Sparky.”  
Hawke “She's a blood mage!”  
Isabela “She's a sweetheart.”  
Hawke looked back and forth, shit they weren't going to move, and she was just a kid. Hawke sighed “She is never to do magic alone, never blood magic around me. And if she gets possessed one of you are to put her down before she hurts anyone, got it!”  
Varric and Bela “Yes, Hawke.” 

___They got to the bottom of Sundermount just as night was falling, they made camp._  
Hawke looked to the forest longingly, sighed and said. “I'll go make sure the perimeter is clear.”  
Bethany smiled “Okay, have fun.”  
Fenris “Would you like assistance?”  
Hawke “No, I mean Wolf and I will be able to handle anything.”  
Fenris “Very well.” 

__Hawke and Wolf got far enough into the woods that she couldn't see the light from the fire. She wiggled, feeling the woods call her, she shifted to a wolf and howled at her joy. Wolf's howl soon joined hers, and after that was out of her they ran the perimeter._ _

___Fenris heard the howl. “Wolves are near by, will she be alright?”_  
He itched at her not knowing she was in danger, wolves are stealthy cunning predators.  
Bethany just laughed. “Oh don't worry, she'll be just fine.”  
None the less he stared the forest.  
Varric spoke. “You know, Broody, she is tougher than a few dogs.”  
Fenris continued to stare at the woods. “Numbers can overwhelm even the best.” 

__Hawke was running, feeling her muscles move and stretch. She was free, it had been too long since she had done this. She and Wolf ran the perimeter, nothing in sight, then just as she was about to shift back she saw it. There was a deer alone, perfect for dinner, since they hadn't foreseen to bring any with them. She felt the rush of the hunt as she stalked towards the deer. Poised on a log directly behind the stag, she sees her moment and strikes. Teeth breaks flesh, the stags blood runs down her chin, coating her jaw and mouth._ _

__The stag struggles but only succeeded in getting her teeth deeper in his flesh. Hawke's front canine snags on one of the stags main arteries, and seconds later the stag stops moving. After it was dead Hawke begrudgingly shifted back, and began wiping the blood from her mouth and using her supply of water to rinse off the rag and out her mouth._ _

__Hawke returned to camp with the most edible pieces, having left the rest for the woods to take. Fenris grew tense when he first saw her covered in blood with raw torn flesh, until he saw the triumphant and almost feral smile.  
“I got dinner!”_ _

___They made it back to town and Varric treated them all to breakfast at the Hanged Man, while Varric got Merrill a home._  
They saw her to the Alienage, and she asked if Hawke would visit to which Hawke replied. “You should probably stick with elves, and demon summoning blood mages.”   
Fenris felt a surge of pride at the vehemence in Hawke's voice, her anger towards the blood mage had not waned, even as Bethany had warmed up to her.   
That night they: Varric, Hawke, Isabela and Fenris, went to the docks at and dealt with 'The Redwater Raiders’ and their leader Leech. Varric invited them to the Hanged man, Fenris declined and went to his mansion. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence against underage described

The memory of James had accosted Tala since Merrill first slit her hand. So Tala decided a drink was in order, or several. Tala got good and truly drunk, but to Isabela’s ire still wouldn't tell her about her tattoo.   
Isabela “Come on sweet thing, it's just us, tell me.”  
Tala snorted. “The only way you will ever see it, is if we take a tumble, and that will never happen.”  
Isabela “You are a remarkably articulate drunk. So, not interested in women sweet thing?”   
“I'm not inrested.” Tala stop and blinked. “Interested in intimacy.”  
Isabela “It's a tumble not a marriage proposal.”  
Hawke “Look, Bela, I'm not the type of person to do that lightly. You are, some people are, and I respect that so please respect my feelings on it.”  
Isabela “You know what sweet thing, I like you, and will respect your wishes. But that doesn't rule out my flirting, or groping.”  
Hawke “Groping?”   
Isabela wore a wicked smile “Oh, there will be groping.”  
They laughed and Hawke drank, she stumbled home an hour later only to be welcomed by her uncle ranting, again, about her father. Realizing that she was to drunk not to punch him, she decided she should sleep somewhere else. 

Fenris was feeling restless so he had gone for a walk, and wound up at Hawke's place as she stumbled out of Gamlen's shack and grumbled incoherently.   
“Hawke, are you okay?”  
“Hmm, yeah. Ugh I hate to ask you this, but if I stay at the Hanged Man, Bela will mess with me and Varric will ask questions. I suppose I could go to the Rose but I don't want to waste money on that.”  
Fenris made a choking sound and then coughed. “What are you asking me for, Hawke?”  
She blinked owlishly, 'How much has she drunk?', before her whole face turned red. “Not that! Why would you-because of the Rose? But I said that, because beds!” she started to gesture wildly with her hands.  
One eyebrow cocked. “Because beds?”  
Her hand raked through her hair. “As In to sleep. Maker, Fenris, would you have a problem with one itty bitty girl crashing in that giant house of yours? If I have to listen to Gamlen call my father a 'knife-ear' one more time, I'll shiv him.”  
“Shiv?”  
“Yes, shiv. I will literally go get a stick whittle it and shiv him.”  
Fenris chuckled “Well, then it would be best for you to stay elsewhere tonight, for the sake of Aveline's new job.”  
“So is that a yes you can stay with me, or a I'll walk you to the Blooming Rose?”  
“You may stay at the mansion.”  
The relief that shone on her face was palpable, and he was not so adverse to the idea as he would have thought.

He helped her the to his mansion, they didn’t talk until they were seated before his roaring fire.  
“So, your father?”   
“Yes, he was an elf. What of it?”  
“Does no one know? ”  
“It's reflex after all these years. Father could pass for a small human, and took advantage, to everyone we were simply the new family. Being the new half elf family would have made things so much more difficult, and unfortunately still will, were anyone to know.”  
“Makes sense.”   
“Yeah, look Fenris, thanks.” He nodded, and went to get a bottle of wine.

Hawke fell asleep in his armchair with a bottle of wine gripped to her chest. Fenris found it hard to sleep, he couldn't understand why he let this mage come here. Fenris was so deep In thought that he didn't notice Hawke moving, or her rapid breathing. It wasn't till she began to whimper that he was pulled from his thoughts. Fenris noticed the thin sheen of sweat on her skin, the thrashing and rapid intake of air, she was having a nightmare. Hawke bolted upright with a shouted 'No!'

Hawke took stock of her surroundings, and after understanding she wasn't wherever that dream had been, she began to calm and her breathing returned to normal. 

Once he was certain she had control of herself, surprising an upset mage was unwise, Fenris spoke. “Hawke, are you alright?”  
Her eyes turned to him, wide and fear laden, she had just realized he was there. “F-Fenris?”  
“Yes?”   
“You won't…” she sighed starting to relax.   
“Won't what?”  
She averted her eyes. “Nothing.”  
Remembering what the Fog Warriors had once said 'talking about it can help.'  
“Do you want to talk about it?”   
“I don't know."  
“You don't have to.”  
“I know, but maybe it will help, to finally tell someone.”  
“You can say as little as you wish.”  
“Promise you won't tell, ever.”  
“I promise, Hawke.”  
She nodded, and with that she started her story, her grip tight around the armrests and her eyes focused on the wall above him.

“I had just turned fifteen, thought I was in love, I was so stupid. We were in a very small village, no Templars within miles and neighbors few and far between, we struck gold. There was a boy, James Greyson, his parents owned the town. He was seventeen, and beautiful. He had black hair, pale white skin, and deep brown eyes. He had been courting me for a few months, said he loved me, I thought I could trust him. One day, we came upon a farmer getting attacked by a rabid bear. James killed the bear bravely but the farmer was hurt bad, there was so much blood and healing potion wouldn't help, so I used my healing magic saved the farmer. James looked at me like-like I had slit my family's throats in front of him, cackling. He called me a malificar and knocked me unconscious. When I woke I was tied up, and heard him and his parents talking. Eventually they decided, I put a spell on James, and must be punished. The Templars wouldn't be there for weeks, so they took it upon themselves to punish me. They chained me to a pole in the barn and lashed me with the whip they used on their horses, on my back. I was there for two days before my family found me. My father, the amazing healer he was, fixed me right up, but since it had been so long some scars remain.”

Hawke got up and, facing away, removed her tunic. Fenris saw the scars, with black ink drawing attention away from the scars that littered her back, made to look like wings. He has scars like that upon his own back. Her tunic fell back over her after a few minutes. The fact that this whirlwind of a woman went through that, and trusted him with it. 

“Did the demons not-“  
“Yes! I spent two days with demons whispering my ears, so what!” she huffed throwing herself back into the chair.  
“Did you not consider giving in?”  
“Yes, I was terrified and hurt, but If I was going to die, I wanted to die as me, I didn't want to let them change me.”  
“Why didn't you use your magic?”  
“The demons were too close, and I was too upset. If I used my magic then, I could have inadvertently linked myself to a demon.”  
“Why did it take them so long?”  
“James asked Father for my hand the week before, and when they asked, James said he hadn't seen me since ‘I left for home’ they had no reason to not believe him.”   
Fenris had been staring at the fire since Hawke, no Tala a woman reliving a horrible incident, put her tunic down. He finally looked up when he heard he sniffle, and he saw the tears streaking her cheeks. Fenris had done this, forced her to relieve it.   
“I'm sorry.” He said gruffly.  
A mirthless chuckle. “Why? You didn't do anything.”  
“I made you tell me. I forced you to relieve it.”  
“No, my dream did that. I told you of my own free will, Fenris.”  
“But, why me?”  
“Out of everyone, you wouldn't treat me like glass just because I had this experience.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“That you understand, to some degree, what that situation felt like.”  
Fenris wanted to disagree but couldn't, she was right. Fenris himself had been chained and beaten before, left starving for days not knowing when it would end. Oftentimes he was punished for things out of his control as well.   
Fenris grunted as a response, to which Hawke smiled. “Thanks for listening, I think I can sleep now. Goodnight, Fenris.”  
“Goodnight, Hawke. If it makes any difference, were I to ever meet him, I will rip his heart from his chest slowly”  
Hawke chuckled at that. Within a few minutes she fell asleep curled up on his chair, but this time it was a peaceful sleep. Thoughts of a terrified little girl being beaten filled his mind as he slept.  
Tala woke early that morning. After leaving a letter for Fenris, Tala went home. 

Dear Fenris,   
Thank you for letting me sleep  
here, and listening to me. It  
meant a lot, you're a good   
man and friend.

T.H.

Fenris woke to an empty room again, and note which he put in the same book as the last one. He knew the plan was to meet at the Hanged Man after breakfast, then head to the coast to deal with the Tal-vashoth.


	8. Chapter 8

Hawke came in just as her mother was starting breakfast.  
Leandra “Oh, dear I was worried when you didn't come back last night.”  
Hawke “I was sure if I had to listen to Gamlen again, that I would turn him into a toad and step on him.”  
Leandra “I'm sorry dear. If we only had somewhere else to go, I'd tell him where he could stick that mouth of his. And it certainly wouldn't be the blooming rose!”  
Hawke laughed. After breakfast, her and Beth went to meet Varric and Fenris at the Hanged Man.

They found the way to the Tal-vashoth hideout and had fought their way to the main chamber, and Bethany took a sword to the shoulder.  
“No!” Hawke shouted, and her body began to glow. Fenris could feel the healing magic surrounding her as she flitted her way across the battlefield, slicing arteries before moving on to her sister. The qunari that had caught Bethany in the shoulder, stood weapon poised at her throat, then Hawke's blade was in his back and run through his heart. Fenris and Varric took the last out as Hawke was starting to heal Bethany. Thankfully Hawke knew where the damage was and what was most important to heal first, Bethany made a full recovery within minutes.  
Varric “Wow, Sparky, remind me not to get on your bad side.”  
Hawke chuckled, slightly out of breath. “Yeah, sure. We uh need to take a break.”  
Fenris “Something wrong?”  
Bethany “Tala used a lot of magic on me, she just needs a few minutes to get her mana back at a good place.”  
Hawke “Bethany's right, the blade had hit her subclavian artery.”  
Varric “And that's a bad thing?”  
Hawke gave a breathless chuckle. “Very, she would have bled out in moments.”  
The others spread out and began checking the bodies for coin and anything salvageable while Hawke recovered. Fenris had seen mages need recovery before, but it seemed different. While Varric and Bethany were busy Fenris walked over to Hawke.  
Fenris “There is something else going on.”  
She looked at him, sighed and patted the rock next to her. Fenris sat next to her, but his eyes never leave hers.  
Hawke sighed again. “It's nothing to worry about. It's just been a while since I cast such a strong spell. ”  
Scrutinizing her face. “What of the night of the ambush?”  
Hawke scrunched her face up. “It wasn't quite as bad as Bethany's was. So it didn't take as much magic as this.”  
Fenris felt like there was something Hawke wasn't saying, something she was holding back, but he didn't press it.

After a rest they made sure the caves were cleared out, and headed to meet Javaris at the compound. They took Bethany to Anders clinic, he said that 'Bethany' did a wonderful job, everything was fine but she needed to take the day. He joined the group in her stead.

Hawke walked up to a qunari guard. “I have business with the dwarf Javaris and your Arishok, let me pass.”  
“Yes, the short mouth. Enter if you must, basra.”  
They walked up to Javaris. “My right hand arrives, summon your Arishok. About time you showed, I've been here for hours.”  
The Arishok cut an imposing figure, even once seated.  
Fenris stepped forward. “Arishokost. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun.”  
Hawke was surprised to hear Fenris speak qunlat.  
Arishok “The Qun from an elf? The madness of this place.”  
Hawke “Tell me that helped.”  
Fenris “We shall see.”  
Javaris “Yes, well, that said. I'm here to report that your hated Tal-vashoth were felled one and all. Right? Yes, they were.”  
Hawke _'Maker, he needs to shut up.' ___  
Javaris “So I'm ready to open negotiations, for the explosive powder, as we agreed.”  
Arishok “No.”  
Javaris “He's not getting it, make your chatty elf do something.”  
Hawke _'Like hit you over the head. Maker, this is not good.' _She turned to Fenris. “Any insight that would help?”__  
Fenris “Qunari do not abandon a debt. I humbly request clarification from the Arishok.”  
Arishok “I have a growing lack of disgust for you.”  
Hawke _'Well, guess who is going on any Qunari related jobs in the future.' ___  
Arishok “The dwarf imagined the deal for the gaatlok.”  
Hawke _'Shite!' ___  
Arishok “He invented a task to prove his worth when he has none.”  
Fenris gave a slight bow. “Then we have wrongly inserted ourselves into you affairs. Would you have us kill this dwarf?”  
Hawke _'I'm okay with that.' ___  
Javaris “Wait, what now?”  
Arishok “If you face Tal-vashoth, he is not worthy of dying to you. As he was not worthy of dying to them." Arishok turns to Hawke "But you, you keep good company.”  
Hawke “I've noticed.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow at her.  
Arishok “Let him live, and leave.”  
Varric, always reminding her of coin, poked her leg.  
Hawke _'Dear Maker, if I die, kill Varric.' _“He had big plans for your recipe, I was supposed to get a part of that.”__  
Arishok “Dwarf, did your imagined deal incur debts on my behalf?”  
Javaris “I-uh expected your wisdom to be more profitable.”  
The Arishok stood.  
Hawke _'This is it, I'm going to die.' ___  
Arishok “Then you will pay on my behalf!”  
Javaris “Sod it all. Take your coin, take whatever.”  
As Javaris walks away. “Horn head ox-men and mongrel dog lords. Suck your own powder and blow your heads off.”  
Hawke _'I could blow your head off, free of charge.'_  
Arishok “You will leave as well, there's no more coin for you here.”  
They calmly leave the docks.

Once in Lowtown Hawke punches Varric on the shoulder. “You arse! Sending me to my death for four lousy sovereigns!” “I'll buy you a drink and make up for it.”  
Hawke waves him off as he and Anders head to the Hanged Man. Fenris had already began heading towards his mansion, Hawke had to jog to catch up.  
“Fenris, wait!”  
Fenris stopped and turned to her. “Need something? “  
He seemed upset, Hawke bit her lip. “Have I offended?”  
“No, why would you think that?”  
“So I didn't offend the Qunari leader by asking for money?”  
Fenris smirked “You caused him no offense, if you had, you'd be dead.”  
“Well, would it cause offense if I asked you to be with me anytime I have dealings with the Qunari?”  
“It would not.”  
“Oh, good. You seem to have a grasp of the Qunari that I lack. Where did you learn about it?”  
“I spent a great deal of my life in close proximity them.”  
“Makes sense, but how did you learn the language?”  
“I picked it up by listening to them.”  
Hawke stops and stares wide-eyed, at him.  
“What why are you looking at me like that?”  
Hawke blinks. “It's just incredibly impressive. I've never known anyone who was capable of that, as far as I know anyway.”  
Fenris shifted on his feet and turned away. “It's nothing.”  
Hawke smiled. “Well, Isabela had a lead for me, so I might have a job on the morrow, would you be free?”  
“I am.”  
“Okay, see you then, goodbye.”  
Fenris nodded as she turned and walked away while waving. 

________________He got to his mansion, and after starting the fire he began to pace. Hawke was lying in the caves, he's not sure what about, but she was lying.  
_'It's foolish to trust her! She allows an abomination and blood mage to run free! ...Although, she seemed conflicted about the abomination. And admittedly, it is helping people, I understand her wanting to let it live. After all, many of the patients are her countrymen, they have nowhere else to turn. And she was quite ready to dispatch the blood mage, the pirate and the dwarf stopped her. I have seen that she keeps her word, even when she doesn't trust the other party, and she did promise to help me against Danarius. Hawke is a strange woman, and mage, I can't quite figure her out. Do I trust her?' _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Fenris stopped pacing and sat in his armchair, Hawke's scent surrounding him. The last thought circling his mind as he drifts asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning Bethany and Hawke went to The Hanged Man for breakfast, on Varric's tab, as usual. After breakfast, upon Varric and Bethany's prodding, Hawke agreed to speak with Merrill. So her and Bethany made their way to the Alienage.  
Merrill “Oh, you’re here after what you said I didn't think you would come.”  
Hawke “Yes, well, I got strong-armed into it.”  
Merrill “I don't understand what do arms have to do with anything?”  
Hawke stared at Bethany who smiled. _'Yes, I can see how the demons would have gotten her. What I can't understand is why they would be willing to put up with her.' ___  
Merrill “I'll find something relatively clean for you to sit on."  
Hawke and Bethany sit on some wooden stools.  
Merrill “Can I get you something to eat or drink? I have…water.”  
Hawke “I wouldn't drink the water from this part of the city.”  
Merrill “I boil it first. A few times, actually, sometimes it won't stop twitching. I wanted to thank you for bringing me here, but I'm making a mess of it.”  
There was something so innocent and lost in Merrill that softened Hawke up, a bit.  
Hawke “If this is what you wanted then I'm happy I helped.”  
Merrill “I can't say that I like Kirkwall, but I'm glad to be here. I haven't exactly had many friends. Not even among my own clan. This is…tricky.”  
Hawke _'You just had to say that, make me feel sorry.' _“What made you unpopular with the Dalish?”__  
Merrill “Being First, I was always a bit…..secluded. I studied magic and history, while the others were learning the Vir Tanadhal. It's good that I left. I would have made a terrible Keeper, I'm not very good with people.”  
Hawke _'Being kept from others, spending so much time learning about magic and how to control it. I understand. That doesn't mean I can trust her though.' _Smiling “It won't take long before you're the most popular girl in the Alienage.” Merrill “Mythal, I hope not! I'd manage to say something stupid in front of everyone, and embarrass myself. Thank you for coming to visit me, Hawke, it…..means a lot.”__

As Bethany and Hawke exited Merrill 's home, they were greeted by a strange sight, a Templar and elven woman speaking. Templar Thrask “I'm sorry, but I can only offer your son mercy if he turns himself in.”  
Arianni “I'm trying to find him, Ser Thrask, but-“  
Templar Thrask “The Templars can't tolerate apostates.” He said and walked away.  
Bethany whispered to her sister. “Can we help her? This could be Mother.”  
Hawke walked up to the woman “Is there anything I can do to help?"  
Arianni “You heard that and you would still help? Oh thank you. I'm Arianni, my son Feynriel is missing. When I learned he had magic I could not bear to lock him away. But I would rather lose him to the Circle than himself. His connection is too strong, he has terrible nightmares.”  
Hawke “What kind of nightmares?”  
Arianni “Demons calling to him, pulling him to their world. It grows harder to wake him each day.”  
They talk more and she promised to help.  
They go to the market to speak to Vincento. Bethany uses her powers to convince Vincento to open up about his son. He informs them of Samson a ex-templar, but they can't talk to him till nightfall. They make a plan to meet at the Hanged Man at night. Bethany heads there right away while Hawke goes to enlist Fenris' help. 

That day, just before lunch Hawke knocked on Fenris' door once again. “Hawke, to what do I owe the pleasure?”  
“I need help tracking down a runaway, who happens to be a mage.”  
“You wish me to help you free mages?”  
“No. I wish you to help me find a scared boy who needs help. He didn't run from the Circle, only his mother anything more will be determined later.”  
He sighs "Very well. Let's go.”  
“We need to pick up Anders.”  
“Why?”  
“Feynriel's mother said he's been having nightmares, and it has been becoming difficult to wake him. Anders has more knowledge about this than I, we need his help.”  
Fenris grunts.  
Hawke chuckles “I haven't told Bethany yet, I realized that we needed him on the way here.”  
“So what is it you intend to do with the boy?”  
Hawke sighed “I honestly don't know, Fenris. I just want to find him and let his mother know he is safe.”  
“Very well.” 

Once at The Hanged Man Fenris and Hawke spoke with Isabela, and she introduced them to Martin. They took the job to get his cargo. And waited for nightfall, and Anders. Anders was busy at the clinic but told Hawke he would help come nightfall. Once Anders arrived Fenris, Varric and Anders leave the Hanged Man with Hawke. Only to be stopped by Meeran and the Red Iron.  
Meeran “There you are. I don't let anyone who crossed me get this big, in this town. On her, lads.”  
They fight, and win though it is tough.  
They find Samson.  
“Vincento said something about you. You're looking for the boy? Not much I can do for you.”  
“You're the type of man that will 'help’ anyone for the right price.”  
“What kind of price?”  
“How's this?” Hawke hands him a silver.  
“Sent him to a captain I know Reiner, went wrong though, heard he took him captive instead.”  
Hawke dropped her smile, her eyes sparked with that dangerous glint as she stepped forward menacingly.  
“If he’s not in one piece when I find him, I’m coming after you next.“  
“Rumor has it he got him locked in a warehouse.”  
They head to the docks, fight, and find a mage girl turn into an abomination. And find that Feynriel has been sold to slavers. He doesn't deserve that. The slavers are meeting in Darktown the next afternoon. Fenris makes Hawke promise to take him, then he departs for some rest. Fenris sleeps In his armchair, that still smells of Hawke.

The next day. Morning. Hawke and Aveline head to the Gallows to speak to Thrask.  
Thrask “We have found hide nor hair of the lad. I can only think he has fallen victim to demons or slavers.”  
Hawke “I found this. It's addressed to you. It seems to be from your daughter.”  
Thrask “My daughter? Then…..you know what she is? How she died? When I traced her to that warehouse I should have forced her into the Circle. My own weakness in the face of her pleas is what destroyed her.”  
Hawke “You have my sympathies. Do not fear the Templars finding out.”  
Thrask “Thank you. She is at peace now. I wouldn't wish to see her name smeared while her ashes are still warm.” 

Afternoon  
Fenris, Varric, Anders and Hawke entered Darktown and made their way to the meeting spot.  
The leader was named Danzig.  
Danzig “Looks like we have volunteers, clap'em in irons men, we'll see how much the Tevinter’s pay for them.”  
Hawke took on a look of savage carnality.  
Hawke smiled “Fenris, can you make him talk?”  
Fenris smiled back. “I can do that.”  
As his hand closed around the slavers heart, the pathetic man choked, and fell to his knee when Fenris released him.  
Danzig “Andraste’s great flaming arse, how did you do that? Never mind, the boy's in a cave, smuggler hideout on the Wounded Coast. They'll be by today. Can I go?”  
Hawke's eyes flashed again. “Sure, oh wait I mean no!”  
The man died. Then the others died. Hawke found the map.  
“Looks like they took him to some bolt hole in the Wounded Coast. I wonder if that's near the Injured Cliffs? Or the Limping Hills? Massive Head-trauma Bay? No? Just me?" Sigh "Forget I said anything.”

They traveled to said bolt hole.The place was crawling with slavers. Hawke almost enjoyed killing them as much as Fenris. Her eyes all golden fire, her movements almost feral. She was beautiful, slipping in and out of the shadows slitting throats. Though she was always at his back to defend from an unseen threat. When they made it to the boy.

The leader spoke. “Take one more step and the boy dies.” Hawke looked to Varric. “Tell this dirt bag who we are.”  
Varric “If I were you, I wouldn’t be threatening the Viscount’s son.”  
Leader “What?”  
Varric “Oh I suppose you just got a tip from a slaver that he was selling mage flesh cheap? Never thought to ask where he got it? You never wondered if you were buying the Viscounts well known love child from his Elven mistress, the boy he swore to protect even if it meant raising the entire Free Marches?”  
Leader “I seek no war with the Free Marches, take the lad to his father.”  
Hawke smiled. “We will, once you're dead.”  
Fenris smiled at Hawke. “Time to die, little man.”  
The fight ensued and they won. Hawke sent the boy to the Circle. It surprised him, and once they were safe and alone in the Hanged Man, Fenris indulged his curiosity. “Why send him to the Circle?”  
She slammed her cup down. “Not you too!” Anders had badgered her till she threatened him with a dagger in one hand and her cup in the other. He left after that.  
“I am not questioning you, you made the right choice. I'm merely curious.”  
“He has no one to teach him, and how am I supposed to trust the Dailish, look at Merrill!”  
“You are right.”  
She blows out a breath. “If my father was here, that boy would have had a good teacher, and he could have lived with his mother.”  
“I shall reserve my judgment on that." 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied rape/non-con

"I shall reserve my judgment on that."  
Hawke smiled, a real smile, that lit her whole face.  
Confusing to Fenris _‘She is extremely happy, over this?’ ___  
“Well, that's better than 'viper'.”  
She continues to smile as the dwarf takes her attention. Fenris finds himself angry that the dwarf took her smile, it was his. The pirate sat down next to him and leered at him. “So, what duties did you have, as a slave I mean?”  
Fenris “Not this again.” The wench had asked him last night as well.  
Isabela “I heard in Tevinter slaves are kept oiled up so they glisten. Did your master oil you up? Did you glisten for him?”  
Fenris “I was a bodyguard.”  
Isabela “Always close at hand, within reach, glistening.”  
Fenris “You have an entire story written in your head, don't you?”  
Fenris “Mmmm.”  
Shaking his head he turned back to the conversation that Hawke was having with the dwarf.  
Varric “C'mon, Sparky, what's the dogs name and how did you get it?”  
“His name is Wolf. And a demon gave him to me.” Hawke laughed.

A few hours later, the only ones left were the pirate, dwarf, Hawke and him. The pirate went to find a bed mate, and the dwarf spoke.  
Varric “Okay, Sparky, everyone else is gone. How did you really get the pup?”  
Fenris “And why name it 'Wolf'?”  
Varric “The broody elf speaks, here I thought you were going to glare at me all night.”  
Fenris _‘Have I been doing that?’ ___  
Hawke “Before I tell you that, I have to tell you this, I'm a shape-shifter.”  
Varric “Like Flemeth?”  
Hawke “Kind of. I can only turn into a wolf. I spent half my life running the wilds, on all fours.”  
Varric “Really? How?”  
Hawke “I don’t know really. The first ever time I shifted, I was two. I saw a wolf pup and wanted to play, and I just did. It was the first time I used magic as well.”  
Varric “Really, that's pretty cool.”  
Fenris “You were two?”  
Hawke “Yes, and I know what you're thinking. I was too young, but it happened. Though it's the only magic I was capable of till I was four.”  
Varric “What happened?”  
Hawke “I set a loaf of bread on fire, I wanted toast.”  
Varric laughed.  
Fenris “And how did you get Wolf?”  
Hawke “It was just after my father passed. I shifted and ran through the forests around Lothering. I had needed to be alone. I stayed like that for two days, I think."  
Varric “You think?”  
Hawke “It's hard to keep track of time when you live like a wolf. I heard something following me, and I turned to show whatever it was the wrath of the wolf. But here was this snuffling half starved ball of fur. I killed a nug for him to eat, and that's when he chose me. Since I was a wolf when he chose me that's what I named him.”  
Fenris and Varric were stunned silent. “I should go.” Hawke said as she left.  
Fenris got up. “I as well.” And they walked out together.  
Fenris “Did that really happen?”  
Hawke nodded “Yes, being a wolf, it's my refuge when things get tough. We always lived by forests. But here, I have only gotten to do it once since the darkspawn attacked.”  
“What is it like?” Fenris asked curiosity piqued.  
“Freedom.” She smiled, soft and warm. 

As Fenris and Hawke walked to his mansion he found himself curious. _'What would she look like as a wolf?' _  
The moment Fenris stepped inside the smell of Agerggio Pavali threw him, and he froze.__

____

Fenris was back in Minrathous, being made ready for Danarius' chambers. Suddenly, strangely, there were soft undemanding hands on his face and a sweet female voice in his ear. “Hey, Fenris. Come back to me. You are here, safe, free with me. Come back to me. You are not with Danarius, he will never touch you again. Come back to me.” The bathing chamber and slaves began to fade. Hawke was all he could see, and he was so grateful that she pulled him out before the worst of the memory was upon him, he pressed his lips to hers. It was just a moment, just the barest touch of lips upon lips, but it was enough to make him wish for more. Fenris pulled himself away. Hawke licked her lips and smiled. “Well, that's one way to say thanks. But Fenris, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here. You listened to me, and it helped.”  
Fenris was quite for a long time, but just as Hawke was starting to leave he spoke. “I did 'glisten’”  
Hawke turned listening, not saying a word.  
“Most nights as Danarius was getting prepared for bed, I was prepared for him. The others would wash me and oil me to his preference. When he was ready, I-he.” His voice broke and Tala shushed him. She took his hand and led him to his room. “If anything makes you uncomfortable or reminds you of there, tell me.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
“I want to rub your back and shoulders with this cream my father made, it relaxes everything and gives you a dreamless sleep. Is that ok?”  
“No one's ever asked me that before.”  
“Well, I'm asking now. And if I ever make you uncomfortable or remind you of there, you tell me and I'll adjust according.”  
“I don't want to be coddled.”  
“I'm not coddling, I'm being considerate and caring about my friend. Father made the cream for me, and did this many times after James.”  
“I have scars.”  
“That's not going to matter to me, Fenris, you saw mine.”  
“I-I know what dreams are waiting tonight, and I would rather not see them.”  
“Is that a yes?”  
“Yes, Hawke, please.”  
“Okay, we can stop at any time. Why don't you remove your armor and get comfortable, this will make you sleepy. I'll wait in the other room for you to b- until you call.” Fenris nodded and Tala left the room and shut the door. He began to strip his armor and when he was down to nothing but his leather leggings, he usually slept nude and owned no small clothes, he called Tala.  
She smiled soft and warm. “Rea-uhh.”  
Fenris shook his head a slight smile on his face. “You can say ready, Hawke, and yes. How do you wish me?” Fenris suddenly wished he hadn't said that. Tala's hands were on his face again.  
“Whatever you want, and are comfortable with.” Fenris nodded his head and placed himself face down on his bed. Tala then climbed up and sat next to him.  
“May I sit on your, um rear, it will make it easier?”  
“Yes.” Tala sat on him and began rubbing his spine. She rubbed in slow circles moving upwards, and when she got to his shoulders she would spread out to them and back down the sides of his spine. Over and over, she rubbed his spine and shoulders he felt himself slipping into sleep. 

Fenris woke to the morning light in his eyes, he sat up confused. He slept through the whole night, without nightmares. Even more confusing was the woman snuggled up next to him. It was still early, and he decided he didn't need to care right now, so he wrapped his arm around Tala and went back to sleep.

Hawke woke to a half-naked elf wrapped around her. She didn't even remember falling asleep. Fenris was sleeping so peacefully, she couldn't wake him, but she took the time to study him.  
His straight proud nose, strong jaw and cupid-bow lips, he was gorgeous. His white hair tangled with his black brows, and his bronze skin gleamed in the sunlight. His broad chest and strong shoulders, his arm draped over her, she felt safe in his arms. Fenris smelled of lyrium, leather, and exotic spices. She feels drunk, so wrapped in his scent.  
_'Safe, drunk. Shite, I like him! I don't understand, I don't like people, not like that not since James. I also don't tell people about James.' ___  
She exhaled harshly causing him to stir.  
“Hawke?”  
“Yes, Fenris?”  
“Thank you. I had no dreams last night, and I slept through the night. I've never done that, it was nice.”  
“I'm willing to do it whenever you want.”  
Fenris chuckled at her choice of words. “Do it, huh?”  
Her eyes widened and she turned red. “Th-that's not, Maker, why do I always say the wrong things around you?” She buried her face in her hands.  
He chuckled again, and leaning over Tala pulled her hands from her face. “I was just messing with you, Hawke. Relax.”  
Tala stared up at him, and her breathing became heavy and she licked her lips. The action reminded him of the kiss, and it was his turn to flush. Fenris looked away, and she put her hand on his face again.  
“It's okay, Fenris, I understand.”  
Fenris looked back into her exotic gold eyes and knew she did. Tala was the first person he had ever met that had tried to understand him, not just fear or be disgusted with. Tala did understand, even though she didn't know everything, she understood what he needed. She had helped him, kept him from reliving his worst memories twice.

Fenris felt a surge of want. Seeing her like this, flushed, hair spread behind her like the wings that were on her back. He had never looked at her like this, never looked at anyone like this, he had never wanted anyone before. His voice came out ruff and low, it vibrating in his chest. “If you don't want this, tell me.”  
Tala smiled that bright smile from last night. “Kiss me, please?”  
When those words, his lips were on hers. Neither moved, just the press of lips, nothing more. Fenris found it was all he wanted. As he pulled away, her smile remained.  
“That was nice.”  
She hummed in agreement. “Fenris?”  
“Yes?”  
“You are beautiful.”  
The smile fell from his face. “What are you talking about?”  
She traced the lines of his face with the tips of her fingers, just the barest brush. “You have scars, but they don't make you ugly. You have been through so much, and your skin tells that story.”  
“What story?”  
“The story of the incredibly strong man who survived what would break most.”  
An incredible amount of emotion flooded his voice “I am broken.”  
Hawke shook her head and pressed her fingertips to his lips. “No, you've been damaged, you have the scars to prove it. But, Fenris, scars don't ruin you they add to the beauty and complexity of the person.”  
Fenris stared into her eyes and saw that she believed, whole-heartedly, that what she was saying was true.  
_'She truly believes I'm beautiful?' _“The lyrium doesn't bother you?”__  
“It's a part of you. I wish they were gone, for your sake, so they didn't cause you pain.”  
“Would you remove them if you could?”  
“If it's what you wanted, and you wouldn't be hurt in the process, certainly.”  
Fenris’ mind reeled. _'She would do away with them?' ___

They broke apart when there was a knock and a bark at the door. Tala got up to get it, knowing who the bark belongs to.


	11. Chapter 11

Bethany was standing at the door with Wolf at her side.   
“Thank the Maker, we got worried when we realized you never came home.”  
“Sorry, Bethy, I stayed and fell asleep without realizing.”  
“It's fine, I'm just glad you're safe. Mother will have fits if we don't get home for lunch, she insisted.”  
She laughed. “Okay, just let me say goodbye to Fenris.”  
Beth smiled and in sing-song said. “Okay, say goodbye to Fenris.”  
Hawke rolled her eyes smiling at her sister and headed back to Fenris’ room. “Hey, that was Beth and Mother wants us home for lunch.”  
“Have a good lunch then, Hawke.”  
“Thanks, and if you ever want me to use the cream again let me know, please.”  
“I will, thank you.”   
“Would it be alright if I hugged you?”  
“Yes.”   
Tala gave him a hug and left with a smile he placed upon her face. Her and Beth got home. 

Bethany pointed at her sister's lips. “You're smiling.”  
“And that's a bad thing why?”  
“I didn't say it was bad. It's just, weird. You, a real smile, and not the fake one you always wear.”  
“What's so weird.”  
“That it's on your face, because of Fenris. I mean he doesn't even trust us.”  
“He doesn't trust anybody. Trust means the possibility of the person you trusted, selling you out. Don't you remember that?”  
“Sister, that's not what I meant.”  
“I know, but I also know, trust is earned. And each small bit I earn from him, makes me happy.”   
“Are you sure about this sister, you know how he feels about mages.”  
“About what, being his friend?”  
“I just don't want you to get hurt.”  
“I know, Beth. Though I really don't think that's his Intention.”  
Bethany wasn't thinking and blurted. “Neither was James.”  
Hawke stopped in her tracks, took a deep breath.  
“I'm sorry!”  
“I know, it's okay. Beth, if it's any consolation, Fenris wants to rip out James' heart.”   
Beth gasped. “Fenris knows?”  
“Yes, I told him. The night after we brought the Dalish here.”  
“Oh, sister. I hope things work out okay. I didn't realize just how much you trusted to him.”   
“Me too, Beth. But I have a good feeling when I'm around him.”Bethany stopped and grabbed her sister in a crushing hug. “I'm so sorry that he hurt you, and I'm so happy that you have someone to talk about it to, again.”   
Hawke just hugged her sister, as images of her father appeared in her mind. “I miss Father, too.” The sisters hugged each other tighter, and then finished the walk to their uncles hovel.  
Bethany “It's killing Mother to live in this filth hole.”  
Hawke “If uncle doesn't learn to shut his mouth about father, he'll be the dead one.”

They entered the hovel and Bethany turned to Hawke.   
Bethany “I still can't believe Gamlen stole mothers entire inheritance, I mean I can- That's the worst part. I could never turn against my own sister like that."  
Hawke “You're a better person than Gamlen could ever be.”  
Bethany “Well hopefully we'll be out of here soon. You know when we went to look for that will, I thought we were doing it for mother, for what she lost. I didn't realize how much it would mean to me, having grandparents who didn't hate me.”  
Hawke “I wish they had lived long enough to see us come home.”  
Bethany “Home. That's what it is, isn't it? I like saying that. We're not running away again, we're coming home.”  
Hawke frowned “Are you unhappy here?”  
Bethany “I wish I could do more for mother. Carvers death- it's killing her slowly, every day. But, maybe if we can reclaim some of what she lost, it will help. I'd do anything to get us back a normal life.”  
Hawke “Can you imagine if we'd grown up here? Been nobility?”  
Bethany smiled “Had grandparents that bought us Orlesian silk dresses with lace petticoats. Father was a good man, but mother gave up so much for him. Of course, if she hadn't worked up the nerve to elope, she probably wouldn't have been able to resist the Templars, either. If we'd been born here, you'd be nothing more to me than a name the Circle kept in my file.”  
Hawke “What do you think Carver would have made of all this?”  
Bethany “He would have hated this place. All the sneering nobles. He would have gotten himself arrested on the first day. And he would have wanted in on your Deep Roads expedition, anything to make a name for himself. Sometimes I still can't believe he's gone.”  
Hawke stepped forward, grabbing Bethany's arms. “We're going to make this our home, Bethany. I promise you.”  
Bethany “I hope so, sister. I'm so very tired of running.”  
Hawke smiled. “That reminds me I have something for you. “  
Hawke handed Bethany a portrait.   
Bethany “Is it-yes this is mothers betrothal picture, from when she was supposed to marry the Comte. Look you can see the ring.”  
Hawke “You like it?”  
Bethany “I love it! My whole life, mother's always been so sad and worried. All because of this cursed magic. I always wanted to take that burden off her. It’s nice to have a reminder of a time when she still knew how to smile. “   
Bethany smiled into the picture, Hawke went over to her mother. 

Leandra looked to Hawke “When I told your grandmother I was marrying your father, she threatened to disown me. She said my children would be mongrels. My father wanted to lock me up, but she said. 'It's her life, let her ruin it.' I wrote to her when each of you were born, she never wrote back. I'm glad she die hating me.”  
Hawke shook her head. “Grandmother never hated you, she tried holding onto you the only way she knew.”

Leandra smiled “She would have been so proud of you, you're everything she wanted in an Amell grandchild. She might have had a hard time accepting it at first, but she would have loved you, all three of you. Carver…..oh, he was such a little boy. Never had a knee that wasn't scraped, or trousers without holes.”  
Hawke “He was so young to be taken from us, never got to be the man he wanted.”  
Leandra frowned “I just keep thinking there's something we could have done, it's killing me. I remember that awful creature: eighteen years of loving and feeding and raising, gone just like that.”  
Hawke “Blame the Darkspawn, not yourself.”  
Leandra blinked away the tears. “I-I miss him. I wrote to the Viscount, I have an audience for after the expedition leaves. I couldn't do anything for Carver, but with luck, I can at least give us a home.” 

After lunch she went through her letters there was about the bone pit. She decided to check it out with Isabela, Merrill and Fenris. If they were free.   
Hawke walked into the Hanged Man and decided to have a chat with Varric before asking Isabela.   
Varric “So I've been dying to know: what was going through your head when you fought that ogre?”  
Hawke “For the first few seconds: Maker he needs a bath!”  
Varric laughed “I don’t know anyone else that's even seen one. You're lucky just to be standing here! Somehow, Hawke, I imagine things won't be dull with you around. Not that I expect the Deep Roads to be boring, mind you. Constant threat of doom does keep you awake.”  
Hawke “A lot of things can keep you awake, you know, I wouldn't reach for the doom first.”  
Varric “Sure, I could have a cup of tea, but I hear that's bad for you. Well, this will be-lets call it an 'adventure' I guess.”  
Hawke “Great, now we're adventures.”

Hawke, Fenris, Isabela and Merrill were walking through the market when Fenris spoke. “I do love how the merchants glare at me as if I'm going to steal something.”  
Isabela “You're an elf, and besides, you're a great distraction for those of us who do steal. Anyway what's up with that magical fisting thing you do?”  
Fenris “I'm sorry?”  
Isabela “You know, when you stick your hand into people.”  
Fenris “Oh, that. Yes, it's a talent.”  
Isabela “You could make so much coin with that.”  
Hawke walks up to Hubert. “I hear you're having problems with The Bone Pit, I can help.”  
Hubert “Eh, finally someone comes to help me. I had to suspend operations! My workers are lost in the mines or have run off. Serves me right for hiring for Ferelden refugees.”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow “Mind what you say about my countrymen.”  
Hubert “I wasn’t referring to you of course. My workers are a particularly desperate lot.”  
Hawke “Your first mistake was naming your mine The Bone Pit.”  
Hubert “Locals named the mine.”  
Hawke “What's the reward?”  
Hubert “I will pay handsomely, the exact amount depends on the perils you face.”  
Hawke “I'll head there now.”  
Hubert “The sooner the better each day the mine is not running cost me more then those miners make in a year.”  
Hawke scowls _'That's terrible.' ___

___They get to The Bone Pit._  
Merrill “What a terrible place to get lost, not that there are many good places for that I suppose.”  
Fenris “They have good reason to call it The Bone Pit. Long ago, slaves that dropped dead from exhaustion were thrown into a pit for all the others to see it served as intimidation and…..convenient disposal.”  
They fight looters and then dragons once they get in the mines. After a while in the mines, they run into a live worker.  
Worker “Praise Andraste you came along, those dragons would have sniffed me out for certain.”  
Hawke “Slow down, tell me what happened here.”  
Worker “I will, but be a friend and keep your voice down. There's another dragon close by.”   
Hawke asked her questions, and the worker answered.   
Hawke “You should get out of here.”  
Worker “Don't have to tell me twice. You should leave too, but don't go that way there's a huge dragon.”  
Merrill “Are we going that way? I've never seen a huge dragon before.” 

___The fight was hard and no one was without injuries, most minor scrapes and burns. Fenris had punctures in his leg, from teeth. Hawke sent the others home, she wanted to stay and take some things from the dragon. Fenris chose to stay._  
Fenris “What are you doing?”  
Hawke “Gathering materials.”  
Fenris “For what?”  
Hawke stopped in her carving. “Armor, I don't have very good armor so I'm going to make some.”  
Fenris “You know how to make armor?”  
Hawke “When I was sixteen the town we settled in there was this armorer named Wade, and he insisted on teaching me how to make dragon armor.” She laughed at the memory.   
Fenris grunted.   
Hawke “Let me take care of that.”  
Fenris “We had a deal.”  
Hawke “I know how to heal without magic.”  
Fenris “Very well.”   
Hawke patched up his leg quick and clean, and Fenris found that it no longer hurt. He helped her break off some rib bones for the armor. 

___Once in town, they split ways and Hawke paid a smith to use his forge, within a few days she had her new armor._  
It was a pure black fitted leather, the rib bones wrapped around her torso like a corset allowing a free-range of movement and offering protection as well.  
She showed up at Fenris' doorstep in this new armor, when he opened the door for her, his mouth went dry.  
Hawke usually wore ill-fitted and mismatch armor, this armor fit her perfectly. Hawke was smaller and thinner than normal humans, but she had very human curves. A tapered waist showed off the flair of her hips and she had an ample bust, not as large as Isabela's, but just right for her size. 

___Hawke knocked on Fenris' door, smiling when he opened it. “Fenris! What do you think?”_  
Fenris swallowed “It fits you well.”  
Hawke smiled “I know, it feels so nice to be in real armor again, I had to sell my armor to by passage from Gwaren. Let’s go see Hubert.”  
Fenris nodded and took his place next to her. They walked to the market in comfortable silence.   
Hawke “I solved your problem.”  
Hubert “What happened? One of the miners came back and said you saved him from dragons. I cuffed him for lying.”  
Hawke “Well, he wasn't. Go there and see the corpses for yourself.”  
Hubert “I believe you. You made them extinct again? If it's safe, then the miners can return to work.”  
Hawke “I got all the dragons. It should be safe enough for now.”  
Hubert “Let us discuss your payment. You have been a great help. How about we work together? A fifty/fifty share in the mine. You will make us both rich, if you can keep your countrymen safe.”  
Hawke “It sounds like the workers could use protection, and an advocate.”  
Hubert “I will hire new hands, but that will take time. I need you to convince the surviving miners to return to work. Tell them the Bone Pit is safe again.”  
Hawke “I'll see what I can do.”  
Hawke and Fenris went to Lowtown. They passed Varric on they way to speak to the miners, and he joined them.  
Varric whistled “Wow, Sparky, who did you kill for that?”  
Hawke “I made it. From the big dragon we killed at the Bone Pit.”  
Varric laughed. “You make my job so easy!” 

___They found some of the miners, drunk at the back of The Hanged Man._  
Jansen “Hey, it’s the one that saved me from them dragons! A fellow Ferelden no less! Earl! Eyes on her face you lush!”  
Earl “A thousand thanks for saving Jansen's worthless hide.”  
Jansen “Worthless, am I? My farm supplied half the eggplants in South Reach!”  
Earl laughs “Yeah? Well, my eggplant supplied half the bastards In South Reach!”   
Jansen laughs “You’re a real hero, now what brings you here?” 

___Hawke “I killed all the dragons. It’s safe to return to work.”_  
Jansen “What if there’s more dragons later or something worse like………bigger dragons?”  
Earl “I go back to the Missus without this job, she’ll rip me apart sure as any dragon!”  
Hawke “Would it help if I doubled your wages?”  
Jansen “Wow, well I…”  
Earl “Andraste's teats, Jansen, take it!”  
Jansen “Back to work boys I’m happy to take more of Hubert’s coin!”  
The workers left.   
Hawke “Well, let's go tell Hubert.” 

___Back in Hightown._  
Hawke “They've agreed to go back to work but I had to double their wages.”  
Hubert “That's money out of both our pockets!”  
Hawke “Perhaps they’ll work harder now that we’re paying them enough to survive.”  
Hubert “Throw scraps to a dog, and you encourage it to beg. I run a business, not a kennel!”  
Varric scowled “The business part is debatable.”  
Hubert “I will excuse you this once, you are new to this. From now on let me take care of the coin, you handle the danger.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Varric left after they finished talking to Hubert, because he had business to take care of. Hawke and Fenris spent the rest of the morning returning lost items to the people who lost them. After everything was returned that they found themselves in Darktown, and went to see if Anders was free to join them in find something to get into. They went to the Chantry courtyard to check the chanters board, but there was a Magistrate asking for Hawke's help.

Magistrate “You there Ferelden. I wish to speak to you. I've heard you had dealings with certain elements in the city. That you can get things done ‘on the sly’ as they say?”  
Hawke “That's a fancy way to put it.”  
Magistrate “I am a Magistrate in the city, and as such, I wish to hire you for a small albeit important job. A man I sentenced to life in prison has escaped custody. He's been tracked to an abandoned ruin outside the city. I'd like you to retrieve the fugitives and hand him over to the guard.”  
Hawke “We're both intelligent people here, there's something in the ruins isn't there?”  
Magistrate “There is something, yes. There are creatures in the ruins.”  
Hawke "What sort of creatures?"  
Magistrate "I don't know, I've never seen them."  
Hawke “Very well. I'll take the job.”  
Magistrate “Bring him in quickly and quietly. Not only will you be paid, you’ll have the gratitude of a city magistrate. Useful for a refugee, wouldn't you agree?”  
They head for the chanters board but Hawke is stopped by a woman.   
Macha “Please can you help me? It's my brother.”  
Hawke smiled “Don't worry. Helping people and killing people are what I'm best at.”  
Macha “I, uh, hope there won't be any cause to kill anyone. Keran. was always so devout, so idealistic. He was so proud when they accepted him into the Templar order. I pleaded with him not to join, but he wouldn't listen. You hear dark rumors about Knight-Commander Meredith. And now my brother is gone.”  
Hawke “I'm here to help, just tell me what's going on.”  
Macha “Keran would write me every day. Then suddenly, no more letters. I've gotten no response to my letters. I tried to see him, but Knight-Commander Meredith threw me out! They won't tell me anything thing!”  
Hawke “Your brother may indeed be in trouble. What can I do for you?”  
Macha “Ask the recruits Wilmond and Hugh, they were Keran's closest friends. Maker bless you.” 

They enter the Gallows to ask about Keran.   
Fenris “I've heard about the Circle of Magi outside of the Imperium, but I've never been in one. Are you certain it's wise to be here?" He stops and considers his words. "Considering who we're with.”  
Hawke catches his meaning. "I don’t think the Templars will notice one more mage in the Gallows, do you?”  
Fenris “Hm. Maybe not.”  
Anders “I'll try to look sufficiently meek and oppressed.”  
Hawke “You're not helping.”  
Fenris internally chuckled “This seems more like a prison. I wonder if it's more effective than the Circle I know.”  
Hawke “How is the Imperial Circle of Magi different?”  
Fenris “Once upon a time it was as it is here. The Chantry watched the magisters closely for any signs of corruption or weakness. Then it changed. The magisters were permitted to watch over their own. The Templars kept only to enforce the law. What happened next was inevitable, the magisters rule again, as powerful as they ever were.”  
Hawke “You're saying that the same thing can happen here?”  
Fenris “If the mages were permitted to be their own watchers? Of course. It is too easy for a mage to resort to blood magic if they feel the need is great enough.”  
Anders “As easy as it is to resort to a sword. You were created as a living weapon, should you not be trusted with your freedom?”  
Fenris “My powers are not controlled by a demon! A mage can desire power, justice, revenge, protection…..any cause will do, and then they are lost.”  
Hawke “The ones who are lost should be dealt with.”  
Fenris “That is the question isn't it, who should deal with them? All I am saying is the Imperium offers no answer. All that Andraste did long ago to end the tyranny of magic has been undone.”  
Anders “She ended the tyranny of magic, and replaced it with an entirely new one.”  
Fenris letting some anger drip into his voice “Considering all that magic has done to my homeland and my race, I weep for your predicament.” Regaining control “Power corrupts, as they say, and mages have power enough already.”  
Hawke “You said the Chantry used to watch the magisters. Why did they stop?”  
Fenris “You just remember that the attitude towards magic is different in Tevinter. Magisters came from wealthy families, bloodlines that had nurtured magic for countless generations. They Chantry was not trying to control poor peasants but the Scions of the greatest houses of the Imperium.”  
Hawke “I thought that the magisters had been thrown down by the Chantry.”  
Fenris “ On the contrary, Andraste never defeated the Imperium. Her great army conquered the south, but not the north. The magisters eventually surrendered to the Chantry, but they did so on their terms. They kept their influence. Thus they reclaimed what they lost over the centuries. Some battles are lost by inches.”  
Hawke “You talk about the magisters as if they're all evil.”  
Fenris “I have no doubt that some are good and noble men, strong enough to resist temptation. But how many temptations do you wish to offer a man before he will give in? Blood magic is everywhere in Tevinter. From the lowliest apprentice up to the Archon himself.”  
Hawke “You can't have seen this all for yourself.”  
Fenris “Hmpf. Danarius spoke of it often. Of course they say it's forbidden. Behind the smiles and closed doors, however, it's a different story. To be a magister in Tevinter, is to be glorious. To be a powerful magister in Tevinter….that is worth any price.”  
Hawke “What the Circle does here is better than that.”  
Fenris “An alternative I am very familiar with.”  
Anders “Alternatives are so nice for those of you with choices.”  
Hawke and Fenris share a look.  
Fenris “Freedom is a noble ideal, but I see no oppression here. I see fear…and danger. But enough of this. We came here for a reason.”

Hawke walks up to a group of recruits hoping that one of them was Keran's friends. They didn’t want to speak at first. But they agreed. All they had was some rumor about a deadly ritual, and that one of the missing recruits came back. Wilmod, but he left. Since they were going to be dealing with Knight-Captain Cullen, Hawke sent Anders back to his clinic. Aveline and Varric joined her and Fenris on the coast. They came across Cullen threatening the recruit.

Cullen “Andraste be my witness Wilmod, I will have the truth from you and I will have it now!”  
Wilmod “Mercy, sir, mercy!”  
Cullen “Were it that easy.”  
Wilmod “Don't hit me.”  
Cullen kneed him in the crotch, to which Varric muttered ouch, then drew his sword. “I will know where you're going, and I will know it now!”  
Hawke outraged that he would treat him in such a way, her eyes glinted. “Don't you lay another hand on that boy!”  
Cullen scowled at her. “This is Templar business, stranger.”  
Wilmod laughs “You have struck me for the last time you pathetic mortal. To me!”

Wilmod turned into an abomination and summoned demons to his aid. Aveline, Fenris, and Cullen took the head of the pack. Varric took them out at range, and Hawke worked all over the field. One of the shades had popped up by Varric and clawed him across the neck. No one else but Hawke had noticed, she was at his side in a second. Pressing her hand to the wounds, her magic sealed and healed in moments. Fenris noticed Cullen did not. Once the battle was over Hawke and Cullen spoke. He gave her a lead: the whores at the Blooming Rose.

Aveline had to get back to the keep, and Varric claimed he needed a drink so they left. Once they were out of sight, Fenris spun on Hawke, his jaw set and the anger in his eyes took her by surprise. 

“What were you thinking?”  
“I-that Varric was going to die, and besides no one noticed.”  
“I noticed."  
Hawke raised an eyebrow. “You didn't the night we met, when I took a blow to the side and healed it.”  
Fenris' expression turned from anger to shock. “You were injured that night?”  
Hawke smirked “Yep. You noticed because you know how my magic feels, he doesn't. Since no one saw Varric had been hurt, I knew I could heal him without anyone finding out. I promise.”  
Fenris sighed “I am sorry, I should not have snapped like that.”  
Hawke smiled “That's okay. Want to go to the Rose?”  
Fenris smirked and cocked an eyebrow “For business or pleasure?”  
Hawke began laughing, out of the blue she snorted. She covered her mouth, still laughing, she snorting again began to turn red. Fenris thought it was cute, her laugh was not the refined   
high-pitched sort he was used to hearing from women. Hawke's laugh was unique, much like the woman herself.


	13. Chapter 13

They stood in front of the rose.  
Fenris “Slavery or not, flesh is always for sale.”  
Hawke “I hope my uncle took the day off, it's one thing to know he goes, it's another horrific one to see him in there.”  
Fenris chuckled as the walked in the door.   
Hawke “And here we are In the brothel, my day is complete.”

They spoke to a woman named Vivika, she showed Hawke her books. Keran and Wilmod both saw a woman by the name of ‘Idunna: The Exotic Wonder of The East' apparently it was better than 'The Tramp From Darktown'. They walked into the room Vivika pointed out.  
Hawke “Idunna, right? Do you remember entertaining a couple of Templars, Wilmod and Keran?”  
Idunna “Wilmod, Wilmod. That doesn't sound familiar.”  
Hawke “Do your clients like this charade, it must get dreadfully tiresome.”  
Idunna is slightly shocked, but recovers quickly “W-whatever do you mean? Questions are boring. Let's have some real fun.” She smooths her hand over the bed.  
Fenris feels a strange protectiveness towards the girl. “She may not know anything.”  
Idunna “You should listen to your friend.”  
Hawke frowned at him. “We have to ask about Keran. What's your problem?”  
Fenris felt strange, and did not like it. “I-I don't know, be careful.”  
Hawke sighs “I'm here on business Wilmod, Keran.”  
Idunna “Answer one of my questions first. Who told you about little old me?”  
Hawke pointed and began to tell her “I'm tired of your games.” But she felt something inside pushing against her and she said. “Vivika, she showed me her books.”   
Idunna “That wasn't so hard was it. Vivika, that drab pathetic little sewer rat, she will be dealt with. Just do one more thing for me: draw your blade, and bring it gently across your throat.”  
Hawke felt her hand bring her blade to her throat. _'If I die, so does Fenris!' _With that thought, she pushed against the invisible thing inside her. “You will not control me!” and broke free.__  
Idunna “Oh, shit!”  
Hawke wielded her dagger at Idunna. “What foul magic was that?”  
Idunna kneeled “Blood and desire in equal measure.”  
Hawke scowled “Blood magic, then.”  
Idunna “Please don't kill me.”  
Hawke “Where is Keran!”  
Idunna handed her some papers that showed the location of their hideout. “Can I go now?”  
Fenris was about to say no, but he saw Hawke grip her blade.  
Hawke “You're too dangerous, you have to die."  
Then Hawke plunged her blade into the pathetic blood mages stomach, killing her.  
Fenris “She would have made a powerful magister. But the burial shroud suits her better. These mages make their lair in the Undercity, we should root them out.”  
Hawke “I think a drink is in order, don't you?”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow.   
Hawke “It's late, and I don't want to storm a blood mage den without a plan.”  
Fenris “That is wise.”  
Hawke smiled “Then let's head to the Hanged Man, have a drink and plan.”  
Fenris nodded and then they left. 

___When they got to the Hanged Man, Bethany was already there talking with Isabela._  
Bethany “That book you were reading this morning, ‘Hessarian’s Spear'-I don't think he had a spear in the legends.”  
Isabela “He does in this one, read the description.”  
Isabela handed Bethany the book.  
Bethany “Andraste knelt before no man but her Maker, but she hadn't counted on the Archon Hessarian. Can Hessarian penetrate the tight-knit defenses of the warrior-prophetess? Will she be prepared to face the full blast of his……power? Wait a minute……Isabela! This is a vulgar thing!”  
Isabela “Do you want to borrow it?”  
Bethany “No!”  
Isabela “Are you sure? It has pictures.”  
Bethany covered her ears. “Not listening! I'm not listening!”  
Isabela chuckles. Fenris and Hawke sit down next to each other and order.   
Varric smirked. “So how did you two enjoy the Blooming Rose?”  
Hawke choked on her drink, and Fenris had to pat her on the back.  
Isabela “You went to the rose without me?”  
Hawke “We were on business, and being mind-controlled with blood magic is not what I would call fun.”  
Varric “Shit. What happened.”  
Fenris “The recruits where kidnapped by blood mages.”  
Isabela “Apostate prostitutes? Apostetitutes!” Her and Hawke laugh.  
Varric “You know, you should take Daisy with you.”  
Hawke “What?”  
Varric “She knows about that stuff, the recruit may be in a situation that requires her expertise, if you want to save him you'll take her.”  
Merrill “I promise I'll do a good job, Hawke!”  
Hawke sighed “Fine. But drinks are on you tonight, Varric.”  
Fenris chuckled “I agree with that."  
Hawke and Fenris clinked their mugs together.  
Bethany “Do you ever miss Tevinter?”  
Fenris “I was a slave.”  
Bethany “Still, it was your home the only one you remember. Does it ever feel strange not to be there?”  
Fenris “Sometimes, that does not mean I would go back.”  
Merrill touched Bethany on the shoulder. “You're so lucky”  
Bethany “How do you figure?”  
Merrill “I wish I had a sister and mother and uncle. It must be wonderful, you'll never be alone!”  
Bethany “Maybe, it would be better without uncle Gamlen though.”  
Merrill “Why?”  
Hawke “Because if he calls father a knife-ear one more time, I'll kill him.”  
Isabela dropped her mug, Merrill squeaked and Anders’ eyes went impossibly wide. Varric was the only one that spoke.   
Varric “Um, Sparky, care to elaborate?”  
Hawke “Hmm? Elaborate what?”  
Bethany “About father, and killing uncle Gamlen?”  
Hawke blinked then put a hand over her mouth as she turned red 


	14. Chapter 14

Hawke “I-uh. Our father was an elf, which you already figured out.”  
Isabela “Is that why you're so lanky?”  
Hawke smiled “Maybe. I've always been small like this.”  
Varric “I figured it was the year poverty.”  
Bethany “No, Tala's always been small.”  
Varric “Why keep it a secret, Sparky?”  
Hawke with a crooked smile “I didn't keep it a secret, I just didn't say anything?”  
Anders “That's a cheap answer.”  
Hawke “Honestly we never told anyone, even when Father was alive.”  
Merrill “Why not?”  
Hawke “Because, as much as it sucks, people knowing we are elf-blooded will make things that much harder.”  
Isabela “That's true. Unfortunate but true.”  
Hawke smiled at Isabela. Everyone began talking with each other, but Fenris touched his foot to Hawke's. She turned her smile to him.  
Fenris “Are you okay?”  
Hawke “Yeah, I think I am. It's nice, having friends who know but don't care. I've never had that before.”  
Varric is the only one not conversing. “Sparky, why did you tell Broody and not us?”  
Everyone stopped talking again.   
Hawke sighed “I didn't.”  
Varric “Oh really, he definitely knew."  
Bethany “He was waiting outside for us when uncle Gamlen called father a 'knife-eared Ferelden apostate’.”  
This time Anders was the one to choke. “Your father was a mage?”  
Isabela “And your sister, anyone else in your family with magic we should know about?”  
Hawke smiled “Yeah maybe, Anabelle Amell, my cousin.”  
Anders “Your cousin is the Hero of Ferelden?”  
Hawke smiled “Yup!”   
Anders “Well, now I know why you are so good at getting us into trouble.”  
Hawke smiled “Why, whatever do you mean?”  
Fenris “Clearly there is a propensity for trouble and magic in your blood.”

Hawke laughed. An hour later   
Anders “So there must be mages in Tevinter that don't use blood magic?”  
Fenris “Of course. There are slaves. The magisters do not hesitate to collar their own kind.”  
Anders “But no magisters?”   
Fenris “Why must you go on about this? No magister would turn down an advantage over his rivals. If he did, he'd be dead.”  
Anders “You know, to use blood magic you have to look a demon in the eye and accept it's offer. I figured some would say no, for aesthetic reasons if nothing else.”   
Turning to Merrill. “So when you first did blood magic, it was…….just an accident, right? You cut yourself and realized the power? You didn't really deal with a demon?”   
Merrill “Oh, no. I did.”  
Hawke leaned over and whispered in Fenris' ear. “What I can't figure out: how she hasn't driven the demon crazy?”  
Fenris smirked and whispered back “I haven't the faintest idea.”  
Anders “Why would you do that?”  
Merrill “I needed his help. He was really very nice about it.”  
Anders “Of course he was! He's using you to get a foothold in a mortal brain!”  
Merrill “He's a spirit. He offered me his aid, I hardly think you're one to criticize.”  
Fenris leaned over and whispered in Hawke's ear. “She has a valid point.”   
She smiled and whispered back. “Oh no the end is nigh!”  
Anders “Maybe you don't really understand the difference between spirits and demons.”  
Merrill “Did I ask you?”  
Anders “Spirits were the first children of the Maker, but He turned his back on them to dote on His mortal creations. The ones who resented this became demons, driven to take everything mortals had and win back His favor.”  
Merrill's tone had become icy. “Your 'Maker' is what you humans use to explain the world. We have our own stories, I don't need to borrow yours.”  
Isabela “Hello? Is Anders there? Can I speak to Anders?”  
Anders “You can stop yelling, it's always me.”  
Isabela “Oh, good. I didn't want to talk to that other guy. You know, the stick-in-the-mud.”  
Anders “He can still hear you. Justice and I are one. Anyway, you wanted to speak to me?”  
Isabela “Not really, I just wanted to make sure it was you.”  
Varric “Enough talk, who's up for Wicked Grace?”  
Isabela “Me!”  
Merrill “Oh, can I play?”  
Isabela “Of course, kitten.”  
Bethany “I am.”  
Anders “Not me. I need to get back to the clinic.”  
Isabela “Spoilsport.”   
Hawke “I don't play.”  
Fenris “I'll play as well.”  
After a few rounds everyone bid goodnight. Hawke made plans with Fenris, Merrill and Varric to take out the blood mage den the next day.


	15. Chapter 15

The next day.   
Varric had been dragged to a Merchant Guild meeting by his brother, Aveline joined in his steed.

They entered Darktown, and found the entrance.  
Fenris “I will take great pleasure in rooting out this nest of blood mages. It will not be the first.”  
Throughout the place they're attacked by shades, rage demons, skeletons, and abominations. They come to a strange thing pulsing with the fade. A group of blood mages comes out.  
Crazy Mage “How wonderful, more vessels for our experiments.”  
Hawke “Where is Keran?”  
Crazy Mage “Perhaps the demons will find one of you suitable.”  
Fenris “These mages always fall to the first demons promise.”  
Crazy Mage “I am not some hopeless waif that went crying to a demon, I sought them out and embraced them."  
Hawke “Why have you taken the recruits?”  
Crazy mage “Demons can inhabitant much more than mages and corpses. They can control anyone I ask, any Templar, any noble and any well meaning meddler."   
Hawke narrowed her eyes. “You do know I cut a path through your demons and abominations, right?”  
Crazy Mage smiled “Good, the demons like spirit. If a few more Templars fall to the demons, we can seed chaos in their ranks. How many abominations among their own to drive the Knight-Commander crazy?”  
Hawke scowled “You're worse than a monster, goodbye.”  
Crazy Mage “Kill the vessels only if you must!”

They fight abominations, shades, blood mages and desire demons. After the mages and demons are down the strange faded object in the corner collapses, revealing a man.   
Keran “Is it-is it over?”  
Hawke helped him stand up. “Are you Keran?”  
Keran smiled “Yes, oh thank the Maker, I thought he had abandoned me.”  
Fenris “Do not trust him, he is likely possessed.”  
Keran “The cage has opened, thank Andraste.”  
Hawke warily asks “What do you remember about how you got here?”  
Keran “I was with a lady, and then things get fuzzy. Nightmares then, on fire for days, a demon laughing, a naked lady with claws in my chest. I'd wake and hear screams, maybe my own? I'm sorry it's all blurry.”  
Hawke bites her bottom lip. “Merrill, you know something about this, is he possessed?”  
Merrill “I don’t know…” she walked up and waved her hand next to him then smelt it. “It's-it's clean. There's no scent of demons in his blood.”  
Hawke is satisfied with Merrill's assessment.  
Hawke smiled encouragingly at him. “You can leave now Keran, you've been through enough.”  
Aveline “Cullen needs to hear about this.”  
After exiting Darktown. Varric catches up with them, having slipped out of the Guild meeting.  
Fenris “I have had enough of magic for the day, Hawke.”  
Hawke “Thank you for helping. I'll see you later, for the magistrate's job.”  
Fenris nods and heads home. The rest head to the Gallows. They speak with Cullen, Hawke convinced him to let Keran keep his status. Cullen pays Hawke for her assistance, which is divided up to Aveline and Merrill. Hawke keeps Fenris' share to give him later. 

Hawke “Merrill, would you like to help me with the magistrate's job?”  
Merrill beamed “Oh can I? I would like that very much, can Bela come too?” her hands clasped under her chin.  
Hawke “Sure, why not.”  
Hawke headed to get Fenris and sent Merrill to get Isabela.

Hawke knocked on his door and he let her in.  
Fenris chuckled when she handed him his share.  
Hawke smiled “What is it?”  
Fenris “I had not realized you accepted seeds as payment.”  
Hawke bit her lip, and turned slightly red “That wasn't supposed to be in there.” sighing “I was saving that for a different time.”  
Fenris cocked an eyebrow “You were planning to give me a seed?”  
Hawke sighed and plucked it out of his palm. “It's a wolf wood tree seed.”  
Fenris blinked “Wolf wood, where did you find this?”  
Hawke smiled “Oh, on Sundermount, when we got Merrill.”  
“This is a very rare seed, Hawke. But, what did you think I would want with it?”  
Hawke bit her lip “You said you've had enough magic for today.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed “Hawke. You have my permission, just tell me what you're thinking.”

Hawke smiled and headed to his room, seed in hand. Fenris chuckled and followed her. She walked to the right-hand corner and dropped to her knees. Hawke pulled out a throwing knife, pried up the tiles and stabbed the dirt underneath. Once she was satisfied with the looseness of the soil, she made a small whole and planted the seed. After packing the soil on top, she wiggled her fingers into the soil and released magic. Fenris watched in awe as a tree sprouted and grew. It had white bark and red leaves with blue veins running through them, veins that would glow in the moonlight.  
“Hawke?”  
“Roots.”  
Fenris shook his head at her antics but felt warmed by them none the less.  
Hawke bit her lip “You hate it?”  
Fenris smirked “No, I appreciate the thought, truly.”  
Hawke beamed back at him. Fenris was quite fond of that look on her face, as long as it was only directed at him, that is.  
“It doesn't need much sun, your broken roof will take care of that, and a cup of water once a day is enough.”  
“Very well. Shall we head to the Hanged Man to pick up whoever is going with us?”  
“Merrill and Isabela.”  
Fenris gave her a pointed look, she just shrugged 

The four of them got to the ruins that the magistrate told her about.  
Hawke “I've been sent for the man in the ruins."  
Ugly guardsmen “You're the back up the magistrate promised.”  
Elren “That bastard's to be brought in alive after all he's done? Just because it isn't you and your pretty little shemlen children he's after!”  
Hawke raised a brow and pointed at the guards. “Look at these guards, I doubt either of them has to worry about having 'pretty' children.”   
Elren looked confused for a moment then scowled. “That's not what I meant. The man you're after, he targets elves! He dragged my daughter into those ruins and killed her! I want him dead! My girl, Lia, isn't his first victim. He's taken dozens of our children, and not once has he paid for his crimes.”  
Hawke “Would you mind telling me who you are?”  
Elren “My name is Elren. I'm a Merchant in the city, please none else cares that our children are being slaughtered like beasts.”  
Hawke kept her face neutral but her blood was boiling. “I'll tear his throat out myself.”  
Elren looked relieved. “Thank you, serah, you have no idea what that means. There will be no justice for us elves in the courts of Kirkwall.”  
Hawke turned to her friends. “This murderer cannot be allowed to walk free.”  
Ugly guardsmen “Not wise, stranger. Taking justice into your hands, the magistrate will have your head.”  
Hawke “Better men have tried, and failed, horribly. Besides, I must do what is right.”

They fight spiders and skeletons, and then they find Lia.  
Lia “Who are you? Please, can you get me out of here? I just want to go home.”  
Merrill “Don't be afraid da'len. Your safe now.”  
Hawke “Lia! Your father told us you were dead.”  
Lia “My father! Is he safe? Kelder said he would hurt my family if I didn't come with him.”  
Hawke “Who is Kelder?”  
Lia “ The man who took me.”  
Hawke looked her over. “I don't see any injuries, are you alright?”  
Lia frowned, bowed her head and looked near tears. “He hit me told me I was nothing. I begged him to stop hurting me. I didn't think he would, but out of nowhere, he pushed me away and just…started crying. Don't you see? He didn't mean to hurt me! He told me! There are demons, they make him do these horrible things!”  
Hawke “What kind of demons? What did they look like?”  
Lia “I…don't know what they look like. I didn't actually see any of them. But Kelder told me to run, to get away so they couldn't make him hurt me anymore! Please don't kill him, it's not his fault.”  
Fenris “She is a child, and does not understand. Her pity is admirable but misplaced.”  
Hawke “I'm sorry, Lia. It's too dangerous to let him live.”  
Lia “But it's not his fault, it's not!”  
Hawke “Run to the entrance, you'll find your father there.”  
Lia left.   
Hawke pulled her daggers from their sheaths. “Let's go kill this bastard!”  
After a brief fight with more skeletons, they find Kelder. They spoke a bit. He told her why he killed the children. That they had no right being so beautiful.  
Hawke felt her blood boiling again “If the Circle suspected a demon at work, they wouldn't risk setting you loose in the city.”  
Kelder “No they lied, it's not my fault.”  
Isabela “Coward. Doesn't even have the balls own up to his own depravity.”  
Kelder “I can't stop, I've tried so many times. Please, you have to kill me it's the only way.”   
Hawke was ready to but Fenris spoke.  
“He sees the truth of it, allow me to grant his wish.”  
Hawke nodded “Any last words before he kills you Kelder?”  
Kelder “Tell my father, I'm sorry.”

They got outside just as Lia was throwing her arms around her father.  
Elren “My little girl, I hadn't dare hope. Did you find that monster, is he dead?”  
Hawke smirked “We could bring him back as the undead, and kill him again.”  
Elren “No, I'd rather he stay dead. I didn't believe an elf could ever get justice in Kirkwall. I speak for all of us when I say: we are in your debt, serah.”  
Hawke shook her head vehemently “No, you are not.”  
Elren “But, surely there must be something-“  
Fenris “Trust me, she will not accept anything, I know.”  
Elren “You are a rare woman, serah.”  
Fenris “Unique.”  
Hawke smiled. “Take care.”  
Elren “You as well.”

Ugly guardsmen “Bad choice, stranger. I feel as bad for those knife-ears as an-ompf”  
Hawke decked the man “If I hear you say that again, I'll give you real knife-ears!” then turned tail and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I made my own tree. :P


	16. Chapter 16

Isabela “Uh, Hawke, not that I mind but why did you hit that guy?”  
Hawke sighed “Because I am sick and tired of that slur. I'm sick and tired of prejudice. Thinking your better than someone because you have rounded ears, and they don't. Or thinking you're better because of your religion. It's like thinking you're better than someone because you have dark hair and they don't. It's sickening.”  
Isabela “I didn't expect a monologue.”  
Hawke sighed “Sorry. I'm just so tired of it.”  
Isabela threw her arm around her shoulder. “It's okay, sweet thing.”

Hawke and crew made their way to the Dalish camp, to ask about iron-bark Solvitus' last crafting reagent.  
Master Ilen “I am Master Ilen, crafter for this clan. Is there something you need?”  
Hawke “Do you have any pure iron-bark in stock?”  
Master Ilen “I've never seen a shem who can bend it to there will, what use is it to you? Either way, I'm out of stock. I do know where some can be found, however it is impossible to retrieve. Our people were forbidden from venturing too the area, we lost two of our best hunters there.”  
Hawke “What happened that warriors as skilled as the Dalish refuse to venture to the area?”  
Master Ilen “Your respect for our hunters is most surprising, stranger. The place is overrun by darkspawn, eradicating them would risk the precious few hunters we have left. I'll show you where it is, what you do with it is up to you.” 

The four of them head to the location on the map. The fight through the first three waves of darkspawn without consequence. But as the fourth wave was coming, Hawke smelled it, an ogre. Hawke turned wide-eyed as the monstrous creature walked up. Hawke froze, and she saw the ogre look around the field spotting Fenris. Fenris was doing the most damage, and therefore, the ogre started after him.

Hawke _'No! Not again!' _Her feet were moving as the thought entered her mind. Fenris had his back to the ogre, having been partially surrounded, so he had no idea of the real threat. Hawke shoved him to the ground just as the ogre grabbed for him, it got Hawke instead. It clenched its fist, trying to crush her, but she was using telekinetic magic to push back. Fenris saw what was happening and dispatched the ones around him, having already weakened them profusely, with one powerful swing.__

____

Hawke was growling, struggling against the strength of this creature. Her magic was strong, but she was losing, she felt her bones breaking under the pressure. It took all of her willpower and control not to let the spell break. 

Fenris activated his markings, putting all his strength in his legs and arms, he lifted his sword and jumped. He put as much force behind the swing as he could. His sword was sharp and as the blow landed it severed the beasts arm. Hawke fell with the limb, grunting as it hit the ground. Fenris ran his sword through the ogre's heart, killing it. Fenris “Hawke!”  
Isabela “Take care of her, we'll get the rest of these.” Isabela yelled when she saw Fenris hesitate at what to do, but that was all he needed. Hawke's breathing was labored, tears running down her cheeks and she was whimpering.  
Fenris “Can you heal yourself?”  
Hawke “C-can't…..too much…pain. Ahh! can't….focus enough.” Said through clenched teeth. “My ba-bag. Pink…vial.”  
Fenris “What about it?”  
Hawke “Help pain.”  
Fenris dug through her bag, he found the vial. “Here.”  
Hawke “Only…half.”  
Fenris nodded and uncorked the vial. He brought it to her lips and tilted it until it was half empty. Hawke's body relaxed a bit, and her breathing slowed some.  
Fenris “Witch, run ahead and inform the abomination. Pirate, watch our backs, I have to carry her.”  
Isabela “Are you sure that's a good idea?”  
Hawke “Y-yes.”  
Isabela and Merrill “Okay.”  
Merrill ran ahead and Isabela pulled her daggers “Ready when you are, Broody.”  
Fenris pulled his gauntlets off and hooked them on his belt. As gently as possible, he pulled Hawke into his arms and they began the long walk back to the city.  
They had been walking for a bit, Isabela out of earshot, Fenris spoke. “Why did you do that, Hawke?"  
Hawke “I'm…not…sorry.”  
Fenris growled, the vibration causing her to whimper. He apologized, profusely. She does her best to keep quiet and deal the with the pain. They get to the city without incident. 

Bethany meets them at the gates and insists they go to Fenris' mansion. When they get there Anders has everything set up on Fenris' table, and his fire lit. 

Fenris paced in the main room, where the others of Hawke's group were as well, while Anders and Bethany worked on Hawke In his room. After the sun had sunk below the horizon, Anders emerged and declared that Hawke would live. Anders “She needs rest, preferably in a bed. But she's still too injured to be moved to her uncle's house. So elf, can I trust you to take care of her and keep her off her feet until she is allowed to? Or are you going to send her to 'rest' in the squalor of her uncle's house?” Anders expected the elf to object.  
Fenris “Just tell me what I need to know, and do.”  
Anders' eyes widened, but he instructed Fenris in everything he needed to do. Due to the extended time healing, both Bethany and Anders were beyond wiped out. Aveline took Anders home, and Isabela took Bethany home. Varric took Merrill home, not because she helped with healing, she didn't know any healing spells, but because she would get lost. When Varric got Merrill to her door he handed her a ball of twine.  
Varric “Tie this own your door Daisy whenever you leave, and you'll always be able to get back home.”  
Merrill “Oh, thank you Varric. Goodnight.” 

Fenris walked into his room. “Hawke?” Hawke “Fenris, do you mind if I crash here again?”  
Fenris walked over and pulled the blankets down to the foot of the bed, then walked back to Hawke. “I have to move to you the bed, is there anything you need me to do?”  
Hawke “Hmm. I would like a night-shirt or something, considering I'm only in my smalls under this cloth.”  
Fenris “Give me a moment.”  
He began rummaging in his armoire, that was mainly used for storage of his armor and food. He found a slightly used tunic of his.  
Fenris “All I have on hand is this, it's been worn once or twice, I could, however, go looking for something elsewhere in the mansion.”  
Hawke “No. That's perfect.” 

He helped her sit up slightly, and pull the tunic over her head. Fenris removed the cloth covering her, to ensure it wouldn't get caught when he moved her. His tunic was sleeveless and came to rest halfway down her thighs. It was more threadbare than was probably appropriate, and he could see the bandages wrapped around her torso. Fenris slid one arm under her legs and the other wrapped around her shoulders, he carefully transferred her to the bed. She hissed slightly at the movements but made no other indication of discomfort. Once she was settled he pulled the blankets up to her collarbones. His brow was furrowed “Hawke, why did you do that?”  
Hawke sighed “That's a long story, and I'm very tired. May I tell you tomorrow?”  
Fenris sighed "So long as you promise you will.”  
Hawke smiled “I promise, Fenris.”  
It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, however, he was up for half the night. 

Fenris woke In his armchair, sunlight streaming through the windows and the red leaves of the Wolf Wood tree. Squinting against the bright light, he stretched feeling his tight muscles aching from sleeping in a chair.Hawke “Morning sleepy head.”  
Fenris chuckled “Are you well?”  
Hawke “I could use some more of the pink potion.”  
Fenris grabbed the pink vial and gave her the rest of it. “Anything else?”  
Hawke “Well, now that the pain is better than yesterday, I can use some healing magic on myself.”  
Fenris “What are you waiting for?”  
Hawke “Permission, and for you to wake up.”  
Fenris nodded and with that healing magic spilled from her palms, and wrapped around her body. After a few minutes it died out, and she sighed.  
Fenris “Why did you do that, Hawke?”  
Hawke “Because I couldn't lose someone else like I lost C-him.”  
Fenris “Him?”  
Hawke “Carver.” She was quiet for a while, and in that time Fenris felt that same pit in his stomach, as when she smiled at the dwarf or the abomination.  
Hawke “M-my little brother, I froze and it got him killed. I still remember the smell of that ogre, and the sound of my brother's bones breaking as he was slammed against the ground. I'm not going to say sorry about yesterday.”  
Fenris sighed “I'm sorry about your brother.” 


	17. Chapter 17

Fenris sighed "I'm sorry about your brother."  
“I still remember the feel of the blood on my face, how heavy my arms felt. The screams, I remember most, I think they were mine but I'm not sure.”  
Fenris got up and walked over and pressed lightly on Hawke's shoulder. “You don't have to tell me, Hawke, it's okay. I'm not mad anymore, I understand.”  
Fenris began wiping the tears that had fallen on her cheeks.  
Hawke pressed into his hand. “Hold me?”  
Fenris nodded and climbed up next to her.

A week later Hawke is ready and itching to go. Anders agreed to let her go on a job, but only if she took him along to monitor her. She had gotten a letter from the Templar Thrask asking for her assistance in a difficult situation. They went to the meeting spot, after killing some dragonlings, they found Thrask.  
Thrask “Mistress Hawke. Feynriel speaks well of how you treated him before you brought him to us. I thought, perhaps, you would be willing to show mages a kindness once more.”  
Hawke “What, you can't be nice yourself?”  
Thrask “You are no Templar. You can't know what a badge of shame that would be. There are a number of apostates hiding in those caverns.”  
Anders “We're not going to kill apostates for you!”  
Thrask “I was hoping you'd speak to the group, convince them to surrender peacefully before my fellows arrive.”  
Hawke “I would not like to see this become a massacre.”  
Fenris smiles at Hawke, pleased she is going to save lives.  
Thrask “Your compassion does you credit. These mages attack Templars on site. You have a better chance than I to convince them they're better off alive and in the circle, than free and dead.”

Once they get inside they are attacked by corpses and a blood mage.  
Anders “They've raised the bloody dead, they must be truly desperate.”  
Aveline “Only one way out for these mages now.”  
Anders “Please tell me we're not going to force these poor fools back into the circle.”  
Hawke stays silent. _'If they're all evil, then no, I'll kill them.' ___  
They fight through more corpses before running into a lad named Alain hiding from the corpses.  
Alain “Makers blessing. I thought I was going to die down here in this tomb, surrounded by these things! Are you with the Templars? Please, I want to go back to the circle. I never wanted to get involved in this. Not when he started making those things!”  
Hawke _'He wants to go back? It is his choice.' _“Who is he?”__  
Alain “Decimus…it was his decision. He kept saying that the Templars would label us blood mages if we fled, so why not use it if it's our best tool. I think he set the fire.”  
Fenris “Typical excuse.”  
Alain “I ran. He's wrong, blood magic is evil not just something the Templars keep from us out of spite.”  
Hawke “The Templar Thrask is waiting outside, surrender to him and you won't be hurt.”  
Alain “I surrender! I never wanted any of this!”  
He ran out, as they went to find the blood mage. Decimus decided they were Templars and tried to kill them, and a number of others followed. When it was over a woman named Grace spoke. 

Grace “You killed him! Oh, Decimus, you should have listened to me, love.” She turns to Anders. “You! You're one of us, but you wear no mark of the Circle. How is it you turn on your own?”  
Anders “Maybe your lover should have said hello, we're friendlier than you think.”  
Grace “Decimus gave us the courage to face the Templars. Without him, we would be prisoners still.”  
Hawke “The moment he resorted to blood magic, he signed his execution warrant.”  
Grace “I warned him, that's all anyone would see if he used it.”  
Fenris “Are we supposed to believe you had no part in his crimes?”  
Grace “I swear to you, I've had no truck with demons. Please, we only want our freedom. Without your help the Templars will execute us all.”  
Hawke sarcastically “I don't have enough people trying to kill me might as well add the Templars as well.”  
Fenris is well equipped to understand that, Hawke isn't going to help. She just likes to be a smartass sometimes, and therefore doesn't say anything, yet.  
Grace “There is a Templar following us, Thrask, kill him and we can get clear of Kirkwall before they send more.”  
Anders “Better the death of one Templar, than so many innocents.”  
Fenris “Yes, let's murder a Templar. Surely that will help.”  
Hawke cocked an eyebrow “That's it? Just a little murder? Uh, no.”  
Grace “Then lay down your arms I'm trying to save lives. We will come with you.”  
They walk back to the entrance. Anders seething at Hawke, and Hawke seething right back.  
Hawke _'They are willing to follow a blood mage, I'm too worried that some of them already are, I can't risk it. And I can't risk getting the Templars after me, for Bethany’s sake.' _They walk out to Thrask talking to a different Templar. Thrask personally takes the mages and swears none will come to harm. Hawke and Anders fought all the way to the city. Once in the city, Anders went to his clinic, and Aveline joined Fenris and Hawke at the Hanged Man for a drink.__

____

An hour and two mugs later. Merrill “Why don't you arrest us Aveline?”  
Aveline “What?”  
Merrill “We break the law, I'm sure there are laws for almost everything. You're not a bad guard, are you?”  
Aveline “No!”  
Merrill “That's good. Is it because you're fond of Hawke, I kind of am?”  
Aveline “Keep it to yourself.”  
Merrill “I'd rather keep it with her.”  
Hawke “I'm kind of fond of you too.”  
Merrill smiled and giggled.  
Hawke “Another round, or two!”  
Varric “Shit, her and Blonde get in another fight?”  
Aveline “She sent a group of blood mages to the circle.”  
Hawke downed her first mug in moments.  
Isabela “Woo hoo! That's how you drink ale!”  
Hawke sipped the second one. “Just that one.”  
Varric “Shite, Sparky, that bad?”  
Hawke laughed. “He said that maybe since I hate mages so much I should just send Bethany to the circle. I don't hate mages, they just need training. Barring a dead man, the circle is the only real place to get that. He said so himself!”  
Varric, Fenris, and Bethany shared a look.  
Fenris “Hawke, would you like to raid my wine cellar?”  
Hawke jumped up. “Let's go then!”  
Varric looked after them with a curious and wary feeling. 

Fenris had steered Hawke to his dwelling, retrieving two bottles of wine from the cellar.  
Hawke “Pretentious ass!”  
Fenris smirked “Me?”  
Hawke smiled “No, and you knew that. I can't believe he said that. They were blood mages! If Alain had wanted I would have let him go, but he wanted to go back to the circle.”  
Fenris handed Hawke a bottle, which she drank half of in three gulps. He found himself admiring the graceful arch of her throat. Shaking his head to dispel the thought.  
Hawke “You have been doing that a lot lately, shaking your head. Maybe I can hang him by his feet.”  
Fenris chuckled. “I'll help you do that.”  
Hawke smiled “Yeah. I miss father. Bethany thinks Anders is like father, but she doesn't remember everything.”  
Fenris “What do you mean?”  
Hawke “My father turned himself into the circle. He knew he needed training, the kind only they could give him. She doesn't remember him saying that if he hadn't been a mage, he would have sent us to the circle for training.” Chuckles “He also said he would break us out after said training. Father, hated blood mages and demons, almost more than you. He once killed a man he saw using blood magic, I was there and the only one who knew. But he was adamant, without proper training and control, mages were dangerous.”  
Fenris just stared. Hawke didn't speak of her father. And he never expected this.  
She drank more. “He was a good man, always helping but unafraid to kill bad people. He never wore robes, he hated them more then I do. He once declared he would walk stark naked through Ath Velanis before he would wear mage robes.”  
Fenris choked.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Do you know what Ath Velanis is, Hawke?”  
“No, somewhere unpleasant, but no.”  
“It's a fortress in Seheron, under the control of Aurelian Titus of Tevinter.”  
Hawke cocked her head and furrowed her brows. “Maybe he read about it in the circle.”  
“Perhaps.”  
“He had scars like yours, and cut ears.”  
“Hawke, I'm sure it's nothing. Just a story he read.”  
Hawke smiled “Yeah.” She winced as she stretched.  
“Are you all right?”  
“Hmm, yeah just. May I use some healing magic?”  
Fenris rolled his eyes. “Yes, Hawke.”  
Hawke smiled and healing magic spilled from her palms and wrapped her body lightly, and then disappeared, she sighed.  
“Hawke, what happened to your father?”  
Her smile faded. “He was killed, a tree fell and crushed his bottom half. It would have taken a dozen mages to heal him in time, he said it was my job to protect the family now.” She laughed self-depreciatively “You know how well that turned out.”  
“It's not your fault, I know you blam-“  
“I don't want platitudes, Fenris. I know where the blame lays. I froze because of this damned wolf sense of smell.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed “Wolf sense of smell?”  
“My senses are that of a wolf, even in my natural form.”  
They stopped talking and sat in a companionable silence.  
Fenris had drank his bottle by now, spoke without thinking. “I'd like to see you as a wolf.”  
Hawke's eyes widened and she sat up straight. “What!”  
Fenris blinked and realized what he said. _'This damn woman, making me so comfortable that I say what's on my mind.' _Laughing “I meant what said, even if I hadn't meant to say it.”Hawke bit her lip. “Do you really want to? I could show you.”__  
Fenris sat his bottle down and sat forward, his elbows on his knees. With more enthusiasm than he knew he had for the idea, and a smile on his face. “Please.” Hawke scrunched her nose and shook her head. “Really, most get freaked out by it.”  
Fenris chuckled “Hawke, I have seen much, show me.”  
Hawke shrugged her shoulders and slid out of the chair, shakily, sitting on the ground. Rolling her shoulders, and taking a deep breath. Smirking “Just know, if you tell anyone, I'll kick your arse.” 

____

Fenris chuckled as ears popped from her head and a tail from her back. He sat in awe as she turned into a beautiful black wolf. Her eyes were that of a wolf, though they remained the same color as she had in her human form. She stood as tall as her mabari was, and her black coat shimmered in the firelight She made a curious noise and tilted her head sideways. Fenris reached out and petted her, running his ungloved hands from her head to tail, and rubbed behind her ears. She was making a pleased noise. She laid her head on his lap as he continued to stroke her.

Hawke was beaming, no one had ever petted her before. She had no idea it would be so pleasurable, no wonder Wolf always begged for rubs. She hesitantly placed her head in his lap, and he petted her more. She gets the urge to kiss him and, not remembering she is a wolf, licked him on the face. She expected him to be upset, but he began laughing deep and throaty. She was mortified and transformed back into her natural form. “I'm sorry, so sorry!”  
Fenris grabbed her face and planted a kiss on her, in answer to her kiss. “You are a beautiful wolf, do you know that?”  
Hawke bit her lip and smiled. “Really?”  
“Mm, gorgeous and soft.”  
She flushed when he said that. “I didn't know the soft part, no one's ever petted me before.”  
“Oh, do you not like it?”  
“No, It was great. It's just that my family never was willing so that was the very first time, for me.”  
“Well, it was a pleasure. Why didn't your family pet you?”  
“Father was the only one that wasn't slightly frightened by my change. I don't know why he didn't pet me, I never thought about it either.”  
“Hmm.”  
“But now I know why Wolf always begs for rubs!”  
They sat on the floor basking In the heat of the fire and each other in silence.  
“Fenris?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Thank you, for not freaking out.”  
Fenris placed his hand on hers and squeezed. 


	18. Chapter 18

They sat like that for awhile, until Hawke had to head home. She bid Fenris goodbye and went to her uncle's. 

The next day  
Hawke headed to Merrill's, basket of food in hand. She walked in the door and Merrill came right up to her.  
Merrill “This city is amazing, did you know, I saw someone get mugged? Right outside, it was fascinating! Everything happens here all at once, how does anyone keep it all straight?”  
Hawke “Most people ignore it.”  
Merrill “I can't even imagine how you'd do that. It's so busy here so many things just get…lost.”  
Hawke “Are you feeling lost here, Merrill?”  
Merrill “A bit, but I'll adjust. I'm glad you came by, I needed someone to talk to.”  
Hawke “I brought breakfast too!”

They sat and ate the food, Merrill babbling on and Hawke nodding to her nonsensical rambling, but enjoying it none the less. The afternoon brought a sparring match from Fenris. And nightfall brought cards at the Hanged Man. Hawke and Anders made up, as much as they do, anyhow. Hawke and Fenris took a walk outside, after Hawke said she needed some air. They see a priest talking to a thug, and go into an ally with him, they decide to intervene. 

Fenris “She has chosen poorly.”  
Hawke “Can you save someone so intent on being foolish?”  
After the fight.  
Sister Petrice “Well, thank you for your timely intervention. I am out of my element.”  
Hawke “Surely you didn't notice that just now?”  
Sister Petrice “I had to come here to get the type of person I need. Someone of bloody skill, but also integrity. The sort of person who might leap to a strangers defense. I have a charge, meet me at my safe house nearby.”  
Hawke “You make a lot of assumptions, it nearly got you killed already.”  
Sister Petrice “All the more reason to end this quickly, you must need coin. Varnell?”  
A Templar steps out of the shadows.  
Hawke “Not so helpless, I see.”  
Sister Petrice “I hope you will come.”  
Hawke and Fenris get back to the tavern the only ones still sober are Varric and Anders. They agree to help, so the four of them head to the safe house. It is across the street from Gamlen’s.  
Hawke to Varnell “I am expected.”  
Sister Petrice “I thank you for coming. This matter is delicate, and I need someone beneath notice to handle it. It's an escort, but I think you will find the nature of the party makes this unique.”  
Hawke “Time is wasting. Who's going where?”  
Sister Petrice “I am Sister Petrice, I have assumed a burden of charity, and this is my charge.”  
A great big grey Qunari in a strange collar with its mouth sewn shut walks into the room.  
Fenris “A saarebas? Here?”  
Sister Petrice “Would even a Templar bind a mage like this? He's a survivor of infighting. I call him Ketojan a bridge between worlds. The Viscount, and others, feel that peace begins with appeasement. This mage would likely be returned to his brutal kin. He can serve a better purpose. I want him free. He must be taken from the city without alerting others, or being seen in my care.”  
Hawke “You don't just stumble on something…someone like this.”  
Sister Petrice “For all their certainty, they do have deserters. Those who seek freedom are hunted.”  
Hawke “Tal-vashoth, they accept the role.”  
Sister Petrice “Even their rebels conform. Ser Varnell witnessed a bloody exchange. Ketojan was the only survivor.”  
Hawke “And you think this mage was being hunted?”  
Sister Petrice “I am certain no thinking creature would willingly submit to this. If he was not running before, he is certainly seeking Freedom now.”  
Hawke “Why not use Chantry resources?”  
Sister Petrice “They will soon realize that the Qunari are an open challenge. But, for now, I must act on my own. Helping this mage shows how can Qunari heresy cannot be ignored. His flight is vital.”  
Hawke _'Something strange is going on here, and I'm not talking about the Qunari.' _“Is freedom so helpful? A new life with that collar seems doubtful.”__  
Sister Petrice “My reach is limited, his struggle is his own.”  
Hawke “It just seems like releasing a bird, cage and all.”  
Sister Petrice “We do what we can to step towards what is right.”  
Hawke _'I agree with that, but I get the feeling you're lying about something.' _“I'd prefer to avoid making enemies among the Qunari.”__ Anders “You can't mean to turn your back on this creature’s suffering.”  
Varric “Maybe I'm out of line for saying this. But not starting a war with the giants camped in our city, sounds like a wise move.”  
Anders “Hawke please?”  
Hawke sighed “Fine.

_____ _

They fought their way through the Undercity, well, Hawke's group did. Ketojan didn't fight at all.  
After they entered the Undercity Varric spoke. “Tromping the deep-dark with a horn-skull mage, and other colloquia’s to that effect.”  
After their fourth fight with giant spiders, Fenris states. “The mage seems indifferent to our struggles, even with his freedom as the prize.”  
They came up to some natives who were all idiots.  
Idiot 1 "Look at this. Undercity is feared by all, but there's no shortage of fools with gold who think they're tough. What is this thing? Collared like a dog lords bitch? You some sort of Qunari lover? Maybe I should get rid of you and see who will pay most for your pet?”  
The Qunari growls.  
Idiot 2 “I don't think it likes you threatening its master.”  
Hawke “A voice of reason, what's he doing with you?”  
Idiot 1 “You lot you're so damned right! Buying everything, running FreeMarcher’s like us into the sewers! I'll see you dead!”  
The Qunari let go a spell that pulverized Idiot 1, and knocked the rest on their arses.  
Idiot 2 yelled for an attack. The Qunari blankets himself in fire while they fought the others.  
Hawke “The danger has passed, Ketojan, calm yourself!”  
He growls and the fire goes out.  
Hawke “You did what I said, did I hit the right phrase or something?”  
He growls.  
Fenris “He may not know, himself.”  
Hawke “Did you attack because your lead was threatened?”  
He growls  
Fenris “I know that kind of blind instinct. It is hard to judge how much control he has.”  
He growls  
Hawke “You can't gesture, or stomp your feet twice for yes, or something?”  
He growls  
Varric “For all we know, he's asking for a chamber pot.”  
Hawke “Keep control and remember who is on your side.”  
He growls.  
Hawke _'Why did that seem like he said yes?' _Shaking her head. “Let's go.”__

____

They get out of the sewer, and are set upon by more Qunari.  
Arvaarad narrowed his eyes at Hawke. "You will hold, basra vashedan. I am Arvaarad, and I claim possession of saarebas at your heel. The members of his Karataam were killed by Tal-vashoth, but their disposal leads only to here, to saarebas and to you.”  
Hawke “I just got here, coming from the other way. If there was a trail, I didn't leave it.”  
Arvaarad “Yet you are here with saarebas. The crime his freedom, his leash held by unknowing basra. We will not allow that danger to continue. Saarebas will be properly contained.”  
Hawke “And if he doesn't want to go back?”  
Arvaarad walks to stand in front of them. “Saarebas! Show that your will remains bound to the Qun!”  
Ketojan takes a knee and growls. There is no magic that binds him, and he looks to Hawke as if wishing for her to understand his wish to return.  
Arvaarad “He's only followed you, because he wants to be lead. He's allowed no other purpose.”  
Hawke “You don't care that someone abused your dead to get you here?”  
Arvaarad scowled “No doubt they were cast from your shoulders as you or your partner thieves grew weak. It's a crime who's victims are beyond caring. It will be dealt with, but the greater threat is clear. It is my role to secure saarebas. It is the role of another to purge the perversions of your kind.”  
Hawke looked at Ketojan, and felt that he truly wished to return, no matter how idiotic she found it. She knew she would not change his mind. “My job was to get him out of the city. If he wishes to go back to you, that’s his business.”  
Arvaarad “You show an unusual ability to reason, basra. Saarebas! Nehraa aqun ebra kata Arvaarad!"  
Ketojan gets to his feet and growls. And Hawke gets the sinking feeling that he just asked to die, as Arvaarad says “You are certain?”  
Ketojan growls and Arvaarad says. “Then we will do it here.”  
Arvaarad waves a stick, rife with magic which hit Ketojan who speaks to Hawke. “Basvaarad, you led well. I thank your intent. Panahedan, as you find the Qun."  
He walks and gets on his knees before Arvaarad.  
Arvaarad looks to Hawke. “You should be honored by this action, basra. It is his last.”  
With that he takes his sword and drives it through Ketojan.  
Anders “Maker! You were supposed to take him back to the Qun!”  
Arvaarad “The risk of corruption was certain. But he has owned his death by honoring you. He knows the Qun once more. As will you.”  
Hawke _'Well, shit.' _“You'd try to kill me after everything we've been through?” Arvaarad “An uncollared Saarebas spoke to you. You were already exposed, but there is no way to know what demon may have ridden his words. Killing you is demanded. But the respect of Saarebas has granted you honor, be grateful. Not every neck earns the ceremonial cut.”  
The fight is long and brutal, they all return with cuts and bruises. Anders magic is wiped out from healing all major wounds. Hawke and Fenris allow Anders to heal them, but only the major wounds. __

____

Back at Sister Petrice's. Petrice and Varnell are hurrying to cover their tracks in the shack when Hawke and the others walk in.  
Sister Petrice “Well, my helpful associate from the streets. You…took the Qunari from the city, without incident?”  
Varric “I think the incident was rather your idea.”  
Varnell “Mind your tongue, dwarf.”  
Sister Petrice “Please speak your mind.”  
Hawke narrowed her eyes. “Don't string me along. You know that I know.”  
Sister Petrice scowled. “Whether you believe it or not, I wish you no harm. That might have been useful for someone, but still regrettable. A massacre of citizens protecting a slave might have forced the Chantry to doubt appeasement. And see the Qunari for the monsters they are. Perhaps it was a rushed opportunity. If such a plot existed I see how it might be… disagreeable to you.”  
Hawke shook her head scowling. “I want no part of your little war! Pay me what I'm due.”  
Sister Petrice tossed a coin purse at her. “Take your money, disappear back into Lowtown. I will not make the mistake of looking for help outside the faithful again.”  
She and the Templar leave.  
Fenris “We'll be hearing from that one again.”  
Back at the Hanged Man.  
Anders “I can't believe you did that.”  
Hawke groans. “I can't believe you're saying that. He wanted to go back, he asked Arvaarad to kill him! What was I supposed to do, it was his wish. I doubt if I said no, things would have turned out any better.”  
Anders sighed “Yeah, I guess you're right.”  
Hawke looked over at him with wide eyes. “What?”  
Anders “He seemed determined to kill himself.”  
Hawke smiled “So who's up for a round of wicked grace before we haul ourselves off to sleep?”  
They were joined by Isabela, and once the round was over they headed home. Hawke fell into her pallet with a thump, asleep before she hit it. 


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning Varric woke her up with a flyer of a man looking for his lost wife.  
Hawke, Varric, Isabela and Fenris went to check it out. The man was in the Hightown markets.  
Ghyslain De Carrac is talking to guards. “What do you mean you can't help?”  
Guardsmen “This is a domestic matter, Serah. If your wife has chosen to leave you, there's nothing we can do about it.”  
Ghyslain “Ninette is my wife! She is legally bound to me, bring her back!”  
Hawke _'This guy.' ___  
Guardsmen “We're done here.” He leaves.  
Ghyslain “Useless! Why are we still paying those sluggards?”  
Hawke smiled “So pay someone else instead, like me. I like being paid.”  
Ghyslain “If you can find Ninette, I will gladly pay you. That foolish woman has caused me nothing but embarrassment. She needs to be dragged home.”  
Fenris “I can't imagine why she might have run away.”  
Isabela “She's your wife, not a dog!”  
Ghyslain “At least a dog can be trained!”  
Hawke scowled _'I like this guy less and less.' ___  
Ghyslain “Her family is getting suspicious, they think I might have…done something to her. Even if…well I just want to make sure they know I didn't do it!”  
Hawke _'Her family is worried?' _“Do you think Ninette might be in trouble?__ Ghyslain “It's her own doing, gallivanting about with men half her age. She's just trying to tell me that I’m tied to her purse strings.”  
Hawke “How long has she been gone?”  
Ghyslain “About a month. I wasn't worried at first, she's run off before. Ninette is uncontrollable, you see, she comes and goes as she pleases.”  
Hawke “Why would her family think you did something to her?”  
Ghyslain “They think I married her for her inheritance, and they know we have been fighting. They believe this is reason enough for me to hurt her. But, I swear, on Andraste's pyre: I have done nothing.”  
Hawke “You're more concerned with what her family thinks then what happened to her?”  
Ghyslain “She keeps e company of other men, and makes no secret of it. I'd be better off with her gone, as long as her family knows I didn't do it.”  
Hawke “I can't imagine why she might leave you, you're such a prize.”  
Ghyslain “It wasn't always like this, we were in love once. She even defied her parents to marry me. Sometimes I wonder if I dreamed those years.”  
Hawke's eyebrows furrowed. “You don't even care if your wife is alive or dead, I'm not helping you.”  
Ghyslain “So you'd leave her to die, just to spite me? If you reconsider, talk to Jethann. He's at the Blooming Rose, yes she visited whores. They even sent her flowers once! To our home, white lilies her favorite, and you wonder why I hate her?”  
After they left Varric spoke. “Not that I like the guy, but…”  
Hawke “I know she could be in trouble. That's why we're going to find her. We're just not doing it for him, and we won't drag her back.” 

_____ _

They head to the rose. Once inside Hawke asks the man at the counter where Jethann is and he directs her to the far left room at the top of the stairs.  
Hawke walks in. “Jethann?”  
Jethann “Today's my rest day, but I'll make an exception for you. What can I say, why work if you're not working hard.”  
Hawke shakes her head.  
Isabela “Oh, I like him. He reminds me of someone.”  
Fenris chuckled and shook his head. “I can't imagine who.”  
Hawke “Have you seen Ninette lately?”  
Jethann “Ninette? Not for weeks, which is a shame, I enjoy her company. I hear she finally left her worthless husband, good for her. I just wish she'd said goodbye.”  
Hawke “Did she tell you she left her husband?”  
Jethann “No, I just hope that's what she did. Ghyslain only once her for her family’s wealth. Ninette's a jewel. Elegant, worldly and just the perfect level of depraved. Ghyslain doesn't deserve her.”  
Hawke _'He doesn't deserve a dog.' _“Do you think Ninette has come to harm?”__ Jethann “I hope not! Everyone loves Ninette. Sometimes twice a night.” He chuckles. “Ghyslain’s the only one who might hurt her, and he doesn't have the balls for it.”  
Hawke “I can see why Ninette liked you, you're feisty.”  
Jethann chuckled “A refreshing change from the pale slug I married.”  
Hawke “Do you have any idea where she might be?”  
Jethann “Well, err…there was someone else looking for her recently. A Templar, I believe his name was Emeric. He wouldn't sleep with me, either. I can't see why a Templar would be interested in anyone who isn't a mage.”  
Hawke “Someone else Ninette spent special alone time with, perhaps?”  
Jethann “She always liked men in uniform. You could ask him yourself. Emeric said he'd continue his investigation in Darktown. You could go look for him there.”  
Hawke “Thank you, you've been helpful.”  
Jethann “If you find Ninette, tell her to drop by and see me sometime.”  
Hawke nodded her head and left for Darktown. 

____

They found Emeric being set upon by Darktown thugs, and helped him fight. Emeric “I thank you, Serah, for coming along when you did. I am Emeric.”  
Hawke “Just the person I was looking for. I need to speak to you about Ninette.”  
Emeric “Ah, Ghyslain De Carrac's wife. Her disappearance interested me, I tried looking into it. However, it was a waste of time.”  
Hawke “Did you learn nothing?”  
Emeric “Most people just say she left her husband. This all started when, Mharen, one of our Circle Mages disappeared. I found it odd, she was a bit older and hardly adventurous. Then I heard about Ninette and two other missing women.”  
Varric “I had a friend who disappeared once. Turns out he was under my bed, drunk." He shrugged "What?”  
Emeric “I think these disappearances are connected, and I suspect foul play.”  
Hawke “People don't just disappear, perhaps they were murdered or kidnapped.”  
Emeric “We found no bodies and no ransom notes, they just vanished.”  
Hawke “Can I assist your investigation?”  
Emeric “You may take over, if you wish. I'm no longer the warrior I used to be, and I know when to walk away. Here, take my findings. I'm going back to the Gallows, I'm too old for this.”  
Hawke “Let's look into this foundry.” 

They head to the foundry in Lowtown and as they entered there was a man in mage robes on the balcony. He summoned shades and demons to cover his escape.  
After they fought through the shades, desire demons and abominations Fenris spoke. “Demons summoned by another mage, no doubt.”  
They looked through the entire place but all they found was a bag with bones, a severed hand and a fancy wedding ring.  
Isabela “Need a hand? Why yes, yes I do!”  
Hawke “A severed hand, a ring and a pile of bones. The ring has an inscription it says: Forever faithful, forever yours. It might belong to Ninette, I'll show it to Ghyslain, and we should inform Emeric of what we found.” 

The next morning in Hightown.  
Hawke “This ring is all I have to return to you, I'm sorry.”  
Ghyslain “Ah…Ninette's wedding ring, yes. Look at the inscription, written in happier times.” He sighs “Where did you find it?”  
Hawke _'This man is upset by her death, not as better off as he thought.' _“Just know that she will not return.”__  
Ghyslain “I'll send the ring to her family, with luck, it will appease them. Thank you, Serah, Maker watch over you.”  
Hawke heads next to the Blooming Rose, to inform Jethann.  
Jethann “Back again? Sure you're not interested in my many, many services?”  
Hawke sighed “I'm sorry to say, Ninette was killed.”  
Jethann “Killed? Why would anyone hurt that darling woman? This is horrible. Thank you for letting me know. Please…please excuse me.” 

____

Varric and Isabela went to the Hanged Man while Fenris went with Hawke to the Gallows.  
Hawke and Fenris walked up to Emeric.  
Hawke handed Emeric the bag. “You might want to see this. This was left in the foundry you mentioned in your notes, I was also attacked by shades.”  
Emeric “These are human bones.” Sighs “Then there is no chance of finding Mharen alive, or any of the others.”  
Hawke scowled “This isn't over. I'm going to get the bastard who did this.”  
Emeric “I know how you feel, Serah.”  
Fenris “Surely those in power will believe you now.”  
Emeric “I will bring this to the city guard, immediately. It should be enough to convince them the disappearances are worth investigating.”


	20. Chapter 20

Hawke finally has enough saved up to buy into the expedition, and leave some for Mother and Bethany to have while she is gone. Hawke and Varric head to Hightown, outside the Merchants Guild, to speak to Bartrand.   
Bartrand “Varric! Where did you get off to, and what are you planning?”  
Varric “Bartrand! So suspicious! I have, in fact, brought us our new partner!”  
Bartrand “What? Partner! You stupid, nug humping dirt farmer! Why did you go promising something like that?”  
Varric “Because if we don't get this expedition moving, brother, we won't have any profits to fight over. Will we?”  
Bartrand “Hmpf. Maybe you have a point.”  
Hawke smiled “So, we're partners?”  
Bartrand “That depends, you got the coin we need?”  
Hawke “I do have your coin, in fact. I also have a map of the Deep Roads entrances in this area.”  
Varric “What did I tell you Bartrand, not bad for a human.”  
Hawke smiled “Oh, thanks for that.”  
Varric “Ah, you know what I mean.”  
Bartrand “What's this? Three…no four entrances, all in the Free Marches? Where did you get these?”  
Varric “Didn't I tell you we could find a Grey Warden. Mother didn't raise a fool, well, she didn't raise two of them.”  
Bartrand “Well, color me astounded. We just pick the best one and go! It will take a week before we have everything ship shape and ready to go. Better rap up any business you have.”

Two days later Hawke is at Fenris' enjoying a post-spar rest, lying on the floor in front of the fire.  
“Fenris?”  
“Yes?”  
Hawke battles with herself before voicing her query. “What’s it's like, be-being a slave?”  
Fenris starts and stares at her. “I don't know how to describe it.”  
“I'm sorry, that was-“  
“I remember this one time that Danarius drained a six year old of his blood.”  
“Why?”   
“To impress his fellow senators at a party.”  
Hawke gasps, horrified “That bastard!”  
“Yes, that was the first time I considered running. I remember, vividly, that I wanted to rip that boy off the table take him and run.”  
“Not the-uh ‘glistening’? Or was this before?”  
“No I had 'glistened' many times before, that was nothing new. Neither was a blood sacrifice at a party, but that boy…he was so young.”  
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just pried like that.”  
Fenris chuckled “I have pried into your life as well, and I wouldn't tell you if I truly didn't want to.”  
Hawke smiled softly “I'm glad that you feel you can confide in me.”  
Fenris looked her in the eyes and smiled softly. “You make me feel, strangely comfortable. If that makes any sense.”  
“I know what you mean.”  
Fenris rolled his shoulder where she had got him, hard, with the flat of her blade. Hawke scooted closer and bumped his shoulder with hers, he winced.  
Hawke sighed “Let me help with that?”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow.   
“Not magic you arse! A massage.”  
Fenris chuckled “I know.”  
She rolled her eyes. “So?”

He began removing his armor, with her right next to him. She bit her lip as his tunic fell off and she got a clear view of his torso. She hadn't seen it before, every time she had given him a massage, she waited in another room while he undressed and it was dark. Her eyes lingered on his well defined muscles, and she felt her face turning red. Without realizing she reached out towards his chest. He caught her hand and she looked up at him with wide eyes. But, before she could say anything, he pulled her forward and placed her hand on his chest.

She licked her lips as she felt how firm his muscles were. He released her hand and she trailed it over his torso, lyrium and skin alike, his muscles rippled and his nerves jumped under her touch. Her fingers traced the three dots over his heart, it was beating rapidly. She trailed her hand up to his collarbone, and rested it there. 

As Hawke looked into his eyes, she realized what he was really showing her. Himself, bared, no armor or darkness to hide in. Her already fast-beating heart picked up its pace. Letting her see a part of himself, one he feared to share, as she had done many times before.   
She bit her lip. “Can I kiss you?”  
Fenris smirked “Yes.”

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, and pulled her hand down to rest over his rapidly-beating heart. The kiss was the same as the last, just lips pressed together. She pulled away slightly, her lips just hovering over his, and looked him in the eyes before she whispered. “You are beautiful, Fenris.”

His arms wrapped around her and he buried his head in the crook of her neck. Fenris stayed there, breathing in her scent, trees and blackberries, as she stroked his hair. Fenris had prepared himself, as much as he could, for her to find him repulsive but, as always, she surprised him. She found him beautiful, and she meant it, but not for the lyrium. She looked at him, all of him, as no one ever had. People either wanted him for the metal in his flesh, or discarded him for his race or past. 

She positioned herself behind him, and began rubbing the swollen muscles. Fenris groaned in relief. 

A few hours later, Fenris and Hawke are sprawled on their backs on the floor. Enjoying the silence and silent company.   
Hawke sat up. “Okay, I'm bored now.”  
Fenris chuckled “Is that so?”  
Hawke smiled as she got an idea. “Lets got to the docks!”  
Fenris frowned “Why?”  
Hawke sighed “I want to talk to the Arishok.”  
“Why?”   
“Curiosity, and I want to inform him of Arvaarad. Unless, will that get me killed?”  
“I believe you would be safe, for now.”  
“Then let's go.”  
“Why are you so curious about them?”  
“There was one in Lothering, he murdered an entire farm hold. The Revered Mother put him in a cage. No food or water, letting 'The Maker’ decide his fate. Bah! You leave a man in a cage without water or food, that's not the Maker, it's you letting a man starve to death.”  
“Hawke.”  
“Oh! Right, sorry. Anyway he would sit in the cage and recite these strange words, over and over. I asked him what they meant once, he told me he was not there to entertain me.” She laughs “Anyhow, I'm just curious about them.”  
Fenris smirked “They say curiosity killed the cat.”  
She chuckled as sultry smile spread on her face. “Well, good thing I'm a wolf not a cat.”  
Fenris chuckled “Very well, let's go.” 

At the Qunari compound  
Arishok “Why do you bother me, human. The dwarf paid you, there is no more coin for you here. Your kind thinks want and selfishness are normal. This city, all of it, leaves a bad taste.”  
Hawke frowned in thought. “If you despise this place, why not leave?”  
Arishok narrowed his eyes at her. “Since we arrived I have seen nothing but greed and weakness. Dwarves, humans, elves…just festering. No order, no goal. You are the only one I have met with any ability, and this too was random, a result of selfishness.”  
Hawke _'Not selfishness, just trying to take care of my family.' ___  
Arishok “I cannot fathom how a mire like this city is justified. You say we should leave, but how can you bare to stay in this…chaos?”  
Hawke “My welcome to the city was not so different from yours.”  
Arishok “And yet you suffer it.”  
Hawke “It's an opportunity to make a real difference.”  
Arishok stood and gestured to the soldier at his left. “Karasten are soldiers, the Qun made it so. They can never vary from that assigned path, never be other than they are meant to be. But they are free to choose within that role, to accept and succeed or deny and die. Glory is clear and defined. Could you, could not this entire city, benefit from that certainty? How else will you know when you have made 'a real difference'?”  
Hawke tilted her head. “He's free to choose to obey, that isn't contradictory to you?”  
Arishok “He chooses to be, as do we all, long before any of your meaningless freedoms are presented. I am not the one to educate you, and I did not intended to land here. But this city may demand certainty. I suspect we are done, human.”  
Hawke “I've had confrontations with others in your command.”  
Arishok “There have been a number of incidents. But you must mean Arvaarad, found dead after tracking Saarebas." A warmth filled his voice. "I thought nothing could threaten Arvaarad.”   
Hawke relived “You're not angry?”  
Arishok “A mage is dead, that's all that matters. The rest is impressive. But do not repeat it.”  
Hawke bowed “Farewell, Arishok.”  
Arishok “Panahedan, human.”

___As they leave the docks Fenris turns to Hawke. “The Arishok appears to be…interested in you.”_  
Hawke stops and turns. “Interested?”  
Fenris smirked “He was patient and answered your questions, rare thing to do for an outsider, unless he's looking to convert you.”  
Hawke chuckled “I'm a wolf, I'm not fond of collars. “  
Fenris chuckled “Nor am I.”  
Hawke sighed “Want to go to the coast, hunt some bandits see some sights?”  
“I have nothing better planned.” 

___Hawke, Wolf, and Fenris spent the rest of the day on the coast, killing bandits._  
After a few hours, they sat down to take a break and have a snack.   
“Hey, Fenris, would you be adverse to going into the Deep Roads with me?”  
“You wish me to go?”  
“Of course, need a sword I trust at my back.”  
“You don't trust Varric?”  
“Of course I do, but he has a crossbow not a sword. I'm good but I can't take all the heat while looking after everyone.”  
“Hmm. Who else were you going to take?”  
Hawke sighed “To be honest, Merrill.”  
“The witch? Why?”  
“Because, if she's with me, then I know she's not using blood magic on others or turning into an abomination.”  
Fenris chuckled “You like the witch but don't trust her.”  
Hawke sighed. “She's easy to feel sorry for, naïve and stupid about demons, but she's sweet.”  
“Hmm. I agree with the naïve and stupid part.”  
“But, the fact is, that you, me, Aveline and Isabela are the only ones who use melee weapons. Everyone else fights at range. Isabela has flat out refused to go, and Aveline can't.”  
“So that leaves me.”  
“More or less. I could always take Anders, he could keep an eye on the others for me.”  
“Bah! Trust that abomination to have your back?”  
“I trust him not to let the others die.”  
“I will go.”   
Hawke sighed “I wasn't trying to force or guilt you into going. I was only positing other scenarios.”  
Fenris smirked “I know, but you work best with someone to take the attention of the attackers so you can slip around the field.”  
Hawke smiled “Yeah, I do. And you are great at pulling their attention.”  
After their impromptu picnic, the three of them headed back to the city. Hawke bid Fenris farewell and went to see how Merrill would feel about the Deep Roads. 

___Hawke knocked on Merrill’s door._  
“Oh, hello Hawke.” She waved Hawke in.  
“Merrill, I was curious if you would like to accompany me to the Deep Roads?”  
Merrill smiled “Oh! Can I? It sounds like so much fun, well, except for the darkspawn I suppose.”  
“Merrill, is that a yes?”  
“Oh, yes, of course. Who else is going?”  
“Well, me and Varric, obviously, and Fenris will be our warrior on the field.”  
“Oh, he doesn't like me very much. Does he know I'm going?”  
“Yes, Merrill. Well, with that sorted out I have some other errands to run, see you at the Hanged Man.”  
“Goodbye, Hawke.” 

___Hawke made stops at the Keep and Anders clinic, getting promises from both of them to watch after Bethany while she was gone. Now how to break it to her little sister, tell her that she's not going._  
Hawke and Wolf walked into Gamlen's hovel. Mother was pleading with Bethany, to reconsider, not to go to the Deep Roads.   
Hawke sighed, walked up and tapped Bethany on the shoulder. “Can we talk, outside?”  
Bethany nodded and followed her sister outside. “What is it, sis?”  
“I've spoken with both Fenris and Merrill and they have agreed to accompany me.”  
Bethany smiled “That's good.”  
Hawke thought that Bethany understood that she wouldn't be going, and Bethany thought she was. Neither realizing as they headed to the Hanged Man. 


	21. Chapter 21

The Hanged Man, the night before the expedition leaves, everyone has gathered to celebrate their success. Everyone is playing Wicked Grace and Varric is winning, for now, but Hawke has a nearly unbeatable hand and the angel of death card. The group has been playing this round for near on an hour, and Aveline, Anders, Bethany, and Merrill have already been knocked out of the game.  
Isabela, Varric, Hawke, and Fenris are locked in the game giving each other deadly glares and trying to discern what the other people hold. No one in Varric's suite is talking, what with the pot up to twenty sovereigns, just watching with fascination. Isabela adds two sovereigns to the pile, Varric raises one, Hawke goes all in, and Fenris folds.  
Varric raises an eyebrow “Six sovereigns, eh Sparky?”  
Isabela chuckled “I'm out, I need booze money.”  
Fenris smirked, curious what hand Hawke has and if she is bluffing.  
Hawke “What's your move, dwarf?”  
Varric “Pretty good, human.”  
Hawke chuckled “Good enough to see, or bad enough to fold?”  
Varric stared her down. “I call, all in.”  
Varric laid his hand down, and to Hawke's delight, his hand was slightly worse than hers. The table held their breath as Hawke laid her hand down, a winning hand, and accompanied by the angel of death card.  
Varric groans, and grumbles. “Makers breath, Sparky, you win.”  
Hawke laughs. “How gracious of you, my dear gentleman.” Hawke scooped her winnings into a pouch. “I'm out of the game for the night.”  
Varric “So, is this why you never play with us?”  
Hawke smiled “I got bored easily, still do, but unlike now I didn't have a town and wilderness rife with thugs and bandits to kill. So, my main source of entertainment was playing Wicked Grace, and winning free farm hands.”  
Varric raised an eyebrow. “You played for workers?”  
Bethany “We didn't have extra money lying around, and needed the extra help. Sister helped them when she lost, as well.”  
Hawke “I just got bored with the game, that's why I don't play anymore.”  
Varric “Then why play now?”  
Hawke smiled “Participation, you said everyone had to play the first game, besides this is the last we'll all be together for a month.”  
Varric “This is true.”  
Isabela “Ugh! No more emotional bonding! We need drinks, Norah!”

Three hours later, everyone has broken into groups. Merrill and Bethany are listening, intently, to one of Isabela's dirty stories. Anders and Aveline are once again in a debate about mages. Varric is writing down notes, Fenris is scanning the main floor of the tavern for potential dangers and Hawke is immortalizing the scenes on paper.  
After finishing his sweep, Fenris turns to the woman sitting beside him. “What are you drawing this time?”  
Hawke smiled at him, and lifted the paper to reveal her work. “You.” The page had a skillfully rendered portrait of him, chuckling at a joke Varric had made.  
Fenris gestured towards the pile of papers. “May I?”  
Hawke nods and hands him her finished drawings. “Sure.” And she went back to detailing the drawing of him.  
The first one he looked at was of Bethany, she was slightly flushed and giggling behind her hand at something the pirate had said. The second had Merrill squatting on her chair and looking to her cards in a confused manner, she was holding them backwards. The one of Isabela had her leaning her elbows on the back of her chair, pushing out her breasts out and pretending not to notice. Anders' had him scowling at his mug of ale. Aveline was holding a mug mid-air as she laughed at a joke Hawke had told her. And Varric was polishing Bianca.  
Fenris looked over as just as she had finished the drawing of him. “These are wonderfully drawn, Hawke, your attention to detail is impeccable.”  
Hawke smiled “Thank you, Fenris.”  
Fenris smirked, and gave her a slight nod. Varric noticed the exchange, as he had every time they did such, and jotted it down in his notes. Varric also made a mental note to watch them carefully. The night was spent with good drinks and better friends, but seeing as four of them had an early start, they called it a night at ten.

The next morning, Hawke and everyone are in Hightown listening to Bartrand give his speech. Fenris and Merrill are the ones coming with Hawke and Varric, everyone else is just there to wish them a final farewell. 

Bartrand “We've chosen one of the hidden entrances. The Deep Roads there will be nice an virginal, ready for a good deflowering.”  
Varric laughs “Now there's an interesting image.”  
Isabela “Almost makes me want to go.”  
Merrill “I don't understand, what does deflowering have to do with the Deep Roads? I didn't think flowers grew there...”  
Bethany “That's…just…” she sighed.  
Fenris rolled his eyes, Anders coughed and Aveline groaned.  
Bartrand “It'll take a week to get to the depth we need, and there are bound to be leftover darkspawn from the Blight. Big risks, big rewards.”  
Hawke _'There had better be big rewards.' _“We shouldn't take any needless risks, though.”__  
Bartrand “This isn't a foolish endeavor, it will work. Now, before we…wait. Who invited the old women?”  
Leandra “I'm sorry Ser Dwarf, but I need to speak with my children.”  
Bethany “Mother! I told you not to get involved with this!”  
Leandra to Hawke “I just want to know one thing: are you taking Bethany with you?”  
Hawke “No, I had planned to take Merrill and Fenris.”  
Bethany “No! I can't stay here. Without you, the Templars will surely find me.”  
Leandra “Bethany, please! The Deep Roads are dangerous! I couldn't bear it if anything happened…”  
Hawke sighed and took Bethany to the side. “You'll be fine here Bethany, I swear. Everyone else is going to make sure you're safe from the Templars. Merrill and Fenris are going.”  
They walked back and Hawke signaled to Merrill and Fenris that they were going, as planned.  
Leandra “Oh, thank the Maker!”  
Bethany “Are you sure about this, sis? I hope you're not just trying to protect me.”  
Hawke “Trust me this is no picnic. I'd stay if I could.”  
Bethany “Fair enough, I hope you're right.”  
Leandra hugs Hawke and whispers in her ear. “Thank you, love. Come home safe.”  
Hawke whispers back. “I promise, mother.”  
As she walks off Bartrand comes up. “Personal drama over with? Then let's get underway.”  
Varric “Been a long time coming, eh, brother?”  
Bartrand “That it has. The Deep Roads await!” 

Four days into the Deep Roads, at camp. Hawke and Merrill are setting up their bedrolls in their tent, and in the tent next to them, Fenris and Varric are doing the same. Wolf is off chasing Sandal around. The four of them settled around the campfire and were waiting for the expedition cook to finish dinner.  
Hawke “Varric, Bartrand is far more enthralled with this place than you are.”  
Varric “Unlike him, I wasn't born in Orzammar. I wouldn't even be down here if there wasn't profit in it. This entire place gives me the chills, let's hope it's worth it.”  
Hawke sighed “I left my little sister alone in a city full of Templars, it had better be worth it.”  
Varric “Don't worry about Sunshine, Blondie, Rivani and Aveline are looking out for her and any potential whistle blowers.”  
Hawke “Yeah, but you saw how terribly frightened she was, I hate doing that to her.”  
Fenris “She is stronger than she thinks, she will be alright.”  
Hawke smiled softly “Thank you, Fenris.”  
Fenris had grown tired of Merrill's eyes on him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  
Merrill “You have vallaslin, the same markings the Dalish have.”  
Fenris narrowed his eyes “Yours are not made of lyrium. “  
Merrill oblivious to Fenris' mood. “No. They're made of blood, our blood. That's what vallaslin means, blood writing. It's a mark of adulthood.”  
Fenris' growling voice projecting both anger and anguish. “Mine were carved into my flesh against my will. Done in a rite I remember only for the agony it caused me.”  
Merrill's eyes widened “I'm…so sorry.”  
Fenris quieted as he was handed his food by one of the hirelings, along with the others. After the food was eaten, Varric and Hawke were in a discussion with each other, Hawke was giving Varric ideas for the stories he tells about her.  
Fenris narrowed his eyes at Merrill. “I don't want your pity.”  
Merrill “Are you talking to me?”  
Fenris “You said sorry about the ritual I endured, earlier, keep your sorrow “  
Merrill “I only meant-"  
Fenris “You have all the freedom none of our kind enjoy, and you throw it away, for what?”  
Merrill “Our people need to reclaim their heritage.”  
Fenris “A heritage of defeat? To what end?”  
Merrill “Would you turn your back on your own history? There's so much we don't know.”  
Fenris sighed “It's not my history, it's simply history.”  
Hawke “Well, with that dealt with, no more fights. Even this type, we have at least three weeks left in this trip, I'd like us all to return to the surface alive.”  
Varric “So in other words, play nice kids.”  
Hawke smiled “Precisely.”  
Fenris groaned “I am not a child.”  
Hawke “I know that, but we are going to be together for awhile, confined in tight spaces. We are going to need to rely on each other, okay?”  
Fenris nodded and Merrill said yes. 

Three days later, a week into the expedition. Scout “There's been a collapse, the way forward is blocked.”  
Bartrand advanced on the man. “What? Is there some way around?”  
Scout backs away. “Not that I've been able to find, the side passages are too dangerous.”  
Bartrand considers this for a bit, and then decks the scout. “Useless! What am I paying you blighters for? Set camp!” 

Camp was set.  
Hawke to Varric. “Your brother is such a nice guy, I should have him over for tea.  
The two of them walk over to Bartrand.  
Varric smirked “Problems, brother?”  
Bartrand “Sodding Deep Roads! Who knows how long it'll take to clear the path!”  
Varric "Shall we not try and find a way around, instead? Seems like the logical choice.”  
Bartrand “You think I'm an idiot, Varric? The scouts say the side passages are too dangerous!”  
Hawke “Good thing I'm not a scout. See? This is why you bring someone like me along.”  
Varric “We'll take a look. If we come running back, screaming, you'll know staying put was the right decision.”  
Bartrand “Fine! Fine! Find a way around, just do it quickly!”  
Bartrand walked away and the merchant that came along comes up and stops them.  
Bodahn “Err…I hate to add to your burdens, my friends, but I fear I must. I fear my boy, Sandal, has wandered off. He's somewhere in those passages, right now! I beg you, keep an eye out for him. He just…doesn't understand danger like he should.”  
Hawke “We need to search the side passages. We'll bring him back, if we can.”  
Bodahn “Poor Sandal, I can't believe he's done this! “ he walked off.  
Varric “Let's move quickly then.”  
They fight through dozens of darkspawn and Fenris says. “Darkspawn, another gift from the Magisters.”  
Hawke sighed, and in a hushed whisper “I hate them. I'd rather fight demons…”  
Fenris stops and presses his hand slightly into her back for a moment, trying to comfort her. She smiles back at him, telling him she understood and thank you. Varric catches all of it and takes notes. Merrill is too oblivious to notice, she's staring at a crack in the stone.  
Merrill pipes up. “You know, there are stories of memories being preserved in the stone. They say you can see shadows of what happened, like ghosts, I wonder if we'll see any.”  
Hawke sighed “Running into stone ghosts, not sure that's the best thing to hope for.”  
Varric chuckles and Fenris shakes his head. After fighting more darkspawn and even a giant spider queen, and a handful of her offspring, they find the boy. He's standing in a pile of dead darkspawn, and next to a magically frozen ogre.

Varric “Well, I'll be a nug's uncle, isn't that Bodahn's boy?” Sandal turned around. “Ello.”  
Fenris smirked “If he isn't, he's an incredibly close copy.”  
Hawke bends down in front of Sandal. “I'd really like to know how you killed all of them.”  
He hands her a rune. “Boom.”  
Hawke turns towards the ogre. “And how did you do that?”  
Sandal looks at it. “Not enchantment.”  
Varric “Smart boy.”  
Hawke “Bodahn is very worried about you, will you head back to camp?”  
Sandal “I like Bodahn.” With that he heads back towards camp.  
After he's gone Merrill speaks. “He couldn't have frozen that ogre, it's a spell that did that.”  
Hawke sighed “I wonder, I've been around magic my whole life, I know what It feels like. This spell though, it's weird, not bad magic just strange magic.”  
Varric “You're not seriously saying Sandal did that, are you?”  
Hawke “I'm saying it is weird, that's all.”  
Varric “Come on, we still need to find a way past that collapse.”  
Fenris “We need to stop for camp, rest and heal. It would be foolish not to, we have no idea what we'll find ahead.”  
Hawke “Fenris is right, lets make camp, I'll take first watch. Merrill set up some wards around the camp.”  
Merrill “On it.”  
Hawke “Varric, set up camp.”  
Varric “Will do.”  
Hawke “Fenris, how about you and I clear the side passage?”  
Fenris nodded, and fell into step. The two of them, with no ranged fighters to protect, whipped around the field like hurricanes killing everything in their path. Hawke was breathing hard and smiling at Fenris, as the last of the foul creatures is cut down. She waved him over and healed a wound he had taken to the side, it wasn't life threatening, but he had agreed, that while they were in the Deep Roads, that non-life threating wounds could be healed. 

As Hawke went to head back to camp she was stopped by Fenris. “Hawke, I want you to promise me that you won't repeat the last encounter we had with darkspawn.” Hawke sighed, as she looked Fenris in the eyes, she saw how worried he was. Hawke put her hand on Fenris jaw, and feeling how tense it was, she rubbed her thumb back and forth over his cheekbone. “I promise.”  
Fenris let out a relieved breath. “Who will take first watch with you?”  
Hawke sighed “Whoever volunteers.”  
Fenris “Hmm. Then consider me volunteering.”  
Hawke smiled “Okay, let's get back.” 


	22. Chapter 22

Varric and Merrill fell asleep on their bedrolls while Hawke and Fenris sat back to back and watched over the area. A few hours in Hawke's sure the others are asleep.   
Hawke “Fenris?”  
Fenris “Yes?”  
Hawke “What does that ogre feel like to you?”  
Fenris “Magic, what else would it feel like?”  
Hawke “It's just, it feels off, to me.”  
Fenris “Off?”  
Hawke “Yeah, weird. Like Anders felt off, but not the same.”  
Fenris chuckled “Are you suggesting that the ogre is an abomination?”  
Hawke frowned “Darkspawn are abominations.”  
Fenris froze “I'm sorry, Hawke.”  
Hawke “Have you ever seen darkspawn before?”  
Fenris “Not until I met you, you lead me to strange places Hawke.”  
Hawke smiled grimly “Then count yourself lucky you're not used to it.”  
Fenris “To what, Hawke?”  
Hawke sighed “You weren't at Ostagar, you didn't see what they do after the killing. It was horrific.”  
Fenris “What do you mean, what did they do?”  
Hawke sighed “Put the dead bodies on wooden spikes, live ones too, hung them from trees and ate them. That's just the start, theses things are evil to the core.”  
Fenris nodded “I'm sorry, that sounds…unpleasant.”  
Hawke chuckled “To say the least, now you know why Avie and I weren't frightened by your glowy act.”  
Fenris “Glowy Act?”  
Hawke chuckled “Yeah, glowy act. You scared Bethany, though, to be honest, she got upset by a lot of what we saw when we were with Athenril.”  
Fenris “She's innocent, it's refreshing.”  
Hawke “Never thought you'd describe a mage that way.”  
Fenris smirked “The Hawke family Is full of strong women.”  
Hawke leaned against him “I think you would have liked my father after you got past the whole mage thing.”  
Fenris nodded “I'm sure you're right.”  
Hawke sighed and they passed the rest of their watch in silence. Varric and Merrill were woken to take their turn on watch, while Hawke and Fenris got some rest.   
Merrill “Varric, they like each other, don't they?”  
Varric snickered. _'If even Daisy can see it... ' _“They sure do, Daisy.”__  
Merrill “Oh, good. I thought I was wrong again.”  
Some time went by with Merrill chattering to Varric, or Varric telling her stories.  
Merrill “Varric, do you know why Hawke asked me to come here?”  
Varric “Why do you ask Daisy?”  
Merrill “It's just…I get the feeling she doesn't trust me. Is that why she brought me here?”   
Varric sighed “I think so, Daisy. But, for what it's worth, I know Sparky is starting to like you.”  
Merrill was silent, but Varric felt her shoulders slump.  
Varric “I can hear you pouting, Daisy. Hawke, she has a big problem with blood magic, if you want her to trust you give her time.”  
Merrill “Time?"  
Varric “That's right, Daisy, time. You show her that you are worthy of her trust, and with time, she will trust you.”  
Merrill “Oh, good. I hope so. I find I'm fond of her.”  
Varric chuckles “We all are, Daisy.”

__Their watch ended as the other woke. Everyone helped pack up camp, Hawke handed out some food she pinched from the cook’s cart before they set to clear the side passages. After a quick snack, and camp being picked up, they made their way down the path Hawke and Fenris cleared earlier. The path had, unsurprisingly, been re-infested with darkspawn. After clearing them again, Merrill stopped to observe the stone golems along the walls. Hawke sighed and nodded to Varric, who prodded Merrill to get her moving. The path opened up into a room with four pillars and a dwarven statute, darkspawn ran out of a door that was fixed by the pillars. After they were dead a group attacked from behind._ _

___Hawke “Shite! Now I smell like rot!”_  
Merrill “I could do something about that, Hawke.”  
Hawke “What? No, what's the point? There's going to be more.”  
Merrill frowned “Okay.”  
Hawke sighed “Merrill, once we finish clearing the way, I'll take you up on it.”  
Merrill smiled and nodded. They began walking to an open door. Hawke put her hand up before anyone had a chance to try and walk through.   
Hawke sighed “I see four traps from here, and I smell darkspawn. I'd say, ogre by the smell.”  
Fenris “Great.”  
Hawke sighed “All those traps, and there could be more. So I'll go in stealth, and you three stay outside the door and keep it's attention until I give the signal.”   
They nodded as Hawke slipped into stealth and the room, Fenris let out a bellow drawing the attention of the ogre that was indeed in the room. Merrill let off spells, Varric released bolt after bolt and Fenris slashed at the great creature. Hawke had finished disarming the traps, she gave the signal by burying her daggers into the ogre's back. It let out a roar as it shook itself trying to dislodge the rogue on it's back. Fenris rushed into the room and began attacking more vigorously as Hawke held on to her daggers. As soon as Fenris got its attention on him it stopped thrashing, and Hawke was able to slip from it's back. Varric got the thing with a bolt to the head that Merrill drove in with a stone fist. It fell to it's back, pushing Hawke's daggers through it's heart.  
Merrill “Eww.”  
Hawke scowled “Great, darkspawn gross all around. There better be a stream close by! Fenris, help me move this flaming thing so I can get my daggers. “ 

___It took some finagling but they got her daggers out, and they were covered in ick. Once they were cleanish the group continued their journey. In the next room, they have a Dragon and it's babies to fight._  
Hawke “Bloody Flames! Darkspawn are in the side passages!”  
Varric “See, this is why I wanted you!”  
Hawke “What am I now a Dragon slayer?”  
Varric snickers “Well, yeah.”  
They get to the top of the stairs at the back of the room.  
Varric “Ah, here we go. This goes right where we want it to. Let's go back and tell Bartrand, he'll be so pleased.” 

___They head back through to camp._  
Varric “Bartrand, we found a way around your damned cave in.”  
Bartrand “It's about time! Let's move out!”  
Hawke “Bartrand, I had to kill darkspawn, spiders, and dragons I'm not going anywhere until I get a bath.”  
Bartrand “Fine stay and bathe! There's a stream over there, the rest of you…move out!”  
Hawke sighed “Varric you and Merrill go and show him the way, Fenris and I will catch up.”  
Varric “You sure Sparky?”  
Hawke smiled grimly “Varric, I'm a hot sticky mess, I need a bath. Fenris and I will be fine on drag.”   
Varric sighed “Fine, be safe, Sparky.”  
Hawke pursed her lips “So brotherly.” She goes to give Varric a hug. “No, Hawke! You bathe, me show way!”  
Hawke laughed, and nodded, then waved to Fenris.   
Fenris “Yes, Hawke?”  
Hawke “You are going to watch me while I bathe.”  
Fenris smirked “What?”  
Hawke turned red. “Why do I always say things wrong around you? I meant, make sure no one tries to kill me while I get clean. No watching!”  
Fenris chuckled “Very well.” He took his blade from its baldric and turned his back to the river. Hawke stripped down at the shoreline. After she cleaned her equipment she laid it out on the rocks, and she grabbed soap out of her bag. She washed up and threw on the pair on linen breeches and tunic she wore for sleeping.   
Hawke “Ah! You can turn around now.”  
Fenris chuckled “Is that wise to wear to battle?”  
Hawke chuckled “We're walking drag after clearing put the tunnels I think I'll be fine. Besides, if any darkspawn attack I think I could bend my rules. Let's go.” 

___They begin walking back through the side passage they had cleared._  
Fenris “What rules?”  
Hawke “What?”  
Fenris “Before, you said you would bend your rules for darkspawn.”  
Hawke sighed “Oh. I made a promise to myself, never hurt a living creature with my magic. When I was sixteen.”  
Fenris nodded, but said no more as they caught up to the expedition. The expedition stopped for camp in the room they fought the dragon.  
Varric “So Hawke, you going to cut this one up too?”  
Hawke smiled ”No, Varric.” 


	23. Chapter 23

Merrill was asleep in her and Hawke's tent, Varric is asleep in his and Fenris' tent.   
Hawke came out of her tent after a nightmare about James, and saw Fenris, Hawke sighed “Can't sleep?”  
Fenris shrugged his shoulders “I was, and now I'm not.”  
Hawke wiggled her fingers and set a sound ward around them. “Wanna talk about it?”  
Fenris nodded “Danarius, glistening. I'm done. Why are you up?”  
Hawke sighed “James.”  
Fenris “I see.”  
Hawke sighed “Maybe I'll just sleep out here.”  
Fenris looked over at her “Why?”  
Hawke snorted “No one to hear me, except you, sound ward.”  
Fenris “I see.”  
Hawke leaned her head on his shoulder, and he leaned his head on hers. That's how Varric found them when he woke up. Chuckling, he went to shake them awake and was rewarded with a hand around his throat.   
Hawke blinked her eyes, she put her hand on Fenris' arm. “It's Varric.”  
As Fenris looked at her, his eyes unclouded and he released the dwarf's throat. “I'm sorry.” Fenris shifted his eyes from Varric.   
Varric rubbed his throat. “Okay, it's fine, lesson learned. Don't wake a sleeping elf.”  
Hawke sighed “Varric, maybe, you shouldn't wake anyone like that down here.”  
Varric “Hmm. Good point, everyone expecting to get jumped by darkspawn.”

Camp was pulled and they made their way further into the Deep Roads. They got into a strange area of the Deep Roads.   
Varric “Holy shit!"   
Hawke “Is this what you were expecting?"   
Bartrand “I thought…an abandoned thaig, something old, but…what is this?”  
Hawke “How did you even know it was here?”   
Bartrand “Old scavenger tales after the Third Blight, a week below the surface they said, but nobody believed them.”  
Varric “It looks like they were right.”

Bartrand “Make camp here, we need to look around!”  
There were broken pillars shining with an eerie red light. Blue crystals, and sickly looking red ones. Hawke walks up to Bartrand.   
Bartrand “I don't get it. Nothing in this thaig makes sense.”  
Hawke tilts her head. “Why’s that?'  
Bartrand “We’re well below the deep roads, whatever Dwarfs lived here they came long before the First Blight, but where are the statues of Paragons? I don't recognize these markings on the wall or anything in the rubble.”  
Hawke “Whatever’s here must be very rare, and valuable.”  
Bartrand “Hmm, possibly. These dwarfs might have been unique. If so, I hope they kept their valuables close at hand.”

The whole place feels strange to Hawke, it makes her feel antsy. On their way to explore further, the run into Bodahn and Sandal.  
Bodahn “You found him, I can't believe it, you found him!”  
Sandal “Ello!”  
Bodahn “I owe you a great debt, I will repay it somehow. I swear my life on it.”  
Hawke “No need. I'm just glad Sandal was alright.”  
Bodahn “Because of you! You will not regret this.”

They walked to an opening.   
Varric “You're that man's hero.”  
Hawke “I'm not a hero, Varric. Anyone would have done the same.”  
Varric “Hmm. Whatever's through there, seems intact. Think we'll find anything?”  
Hawke “Chances are we won't find anything but even more darkspawn. And rubble, maybe bones?”  
Varric “Hmph. I suppose we'll need to go down there to find out?”  
They are attacked by shades, and one angry golem. Then they find a room, with an idol on a stone slate. Hawke gets too close and immediately knows it's lyrium, it sends her stumbling back. She gets to the side of the room and vomits, lyrium had always had an adverse effect on her, but this is not normal lyrium. Fenris walks over and places and hand on her back, asking a silent question. Once she has pushed away the feeling she rejoined the others around the idol.  
Varric “Is that lyrium?”  
Hawke “Not a good kind.”  
Merrill “It feels almost like blood magic, but darker.”  
Bartrand walks into the room.  
Varric “Look at this, Bartrand. An idol made of pure lyrium, I think, could be worth a fortune.”  
Bartrand whistles “You could be right, excellent find.”  
Hawke “I'm not touching that.”  
Merrill picks it up and throws it to Bartrand, he catches.  
Varric “Not bad. We'll take a look around, see if there's anything further in.”  
Bartrand catches “You do that.”  
Hawke looks back in time to see the door close. “The door!”  
The others run down the stairs, Hawke slides down the rail, but the door closes before anyone can stop it.  
Varric “Bartrand, it's shut behind you!”  
Bartrand laughs “You always did notice everything, Varric.”  
Varric “Are you joking? You're going to screw over your own brother for a lousy idol!”  
Bartrand “Not just the idol! The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune, and I'm not splitting that three ways! Sorry, brother.”  
Varric “Bartrand. Bartrand! Oh! I swear I will find that son of a bitch, sorry mother, and kill him!” sighs “Let's hope there's a way out of here.”  
Hawke sighed “I can just picture Aveline's lecture, when we get back.”

They go through the door opposite of the idol. They fight through shades, golems, and stone creatures before they run into something else.   
A demon looking like a stone creature. “Enough! You have proven your mettle. I would not see these creatures harmed without need.”  
Hawke smiled “I'd say being attacked on sight gives us plenty of need.”  
Demon “They will not assault you further, not without my permission.”  
Varric “What are these things they look like rock wraiths-“  
Demon “They hunger. The Profane have lingered her for ages beyond memory, feeding on the magic stones until the need is all they know.”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow “They eat the lyrium? Sounds like a healthy diet.”  
Demon “I am not as they are, I am…a visitor.”  
Hawke sighed “You're a demon, feeding on their hunger.”  
Demon “I would not see my feast end. I sense your desire. You wish to leave this place, but you will need my aid to do so.”  
Merrill “There's nothing to be afraid of. You can use it, if you're careful.”  
Fenris “Yes, because that never ends badly.”  
Varric “What are our options?”  
Hawke “The same as always. I'm not going to be that thing's next meal. Merrill, this something you can deal with?”  
Merrill “Of course.” She hits it with a blast of magic, weakening it.  
Demon “Foolish!”  
They fight their way through more shades, abominations and profane before they reach the vault. There they have a ancient rock wraith to kill. It's a tough fight, profane keep popping up and the wraith has a strange beam that caused Fenris to writhe on the ground as it ripped at his lyrium. Hawke went to help and got burns on her hands, that she healed, for her trouble. After that anytime it showed it was about to use the beam everyone hid behind a pillar. After the fight they stashed as much gold and trinkets as they could, and left. 

At camp that night.   
Hawke and Fenris were on watch.  
Fenris “Hawke, why did the lyrium affect you so badly?”  
Hawke sighed “You won't like it.”  
Fenris stiffened “Hawke.”  
Hawke sighed “I'm a sensitive. That's how I could tell something was wrong with Anders, and why I got sick from the lyrium.”  
Fenris' eyes widened “You are a sensitive? Those are very powerful.”  
Hawke smiled weakly “I know.”  
Fenris “That's why you had so much trouble in the caves, with Bethany?”  
Hawke bit her lip “Yes.”  
Fenris furrowed his brows “I've never heard of one so old, and not-“  
Hawke “Possessed? My father taught me control, he became even more adamant that I have control when he found out.”  
Fenris chuckled “You are stronger than I gave you credit for.”  
Hawke chuckled “It was hard at times, when I was younger, but it's not so bad now. Until I come face to face with pure lyrium, that is.”  
Fenris nodded “Do I-“  
Hawke “No! You don't cause any problems. I don't have any reactions to your lyrium, aside from feeling its presence, that is.”  
Fenris sighed “Good. I'm glad.”  
Hawke bit her lip “You're not mad?”  
Fenris turned and looked at her his eyebrow raised. “Why would I be mad at you?”  
Hawke smiled grimly “I omitted that, and it's an important fact.”  
Fenris chuckled “You don't know everything about me, nor I about you. Why would I be upset?”  
Merrill popped up “I need those mittens!” then she laid back down. Hawke and Fenris spent the rest of their watch in a comfortable silence.

They spent a good week or so walking and camping until they got somewhere they recognized.   
Varric “Hmm. I'd say this is the way back.”  
Hawke “How long to get back?”  
Varric “If were unlucky? Maybe a week.”  
Hawke “And if we're lucky?”  
Varric “We'll stumble over Bartrand's corpse along the way.”  
Hawke smiled and laughed


	24. Chapter 24

The expedition had returned, without Hawke and the others. A dwarf named Bodahn said that there was a collapse, Hawke and the others had been lost. Leandra fell to the floor, her daughter dead. What was she going to do? They still had the money Tala had left them with, but it would only last so long. Bethany began to withdraw, hardly speaking, and she began to only see one way out. The Circle. Bethany sent an anonymous letter to Knight-Captain Cullen, telling him of an apostate hiding out in Lowtown. She included her description and where to find her. Cullen came, and due to her willingness, stayed and allowed her one last night with her family. She had dressed in the Circle robes he brought, right when the last person anyone expected walked in the door.

Hawke sighed finally they were back in Kirkwall. As they walked through Lowtown everything seemed the same, and yet completely different. Fenris bid the group goodbye, and headed to his mansion.  
Varric “Home sweet home, finally. Oh, I wonder if Bartrand came back to the city. You think I'd be that lucky?”  
Hawke “Luck hasn't been our strong point so far.”  
Varric “ Oh, I don't know about that. The treasure we found in that crypt far outstrips Bartrand's stupid idol. He’ll be green with envy when he finds out. As soon as I get the chance, I'll look up my contacts to make sure we get the best price. I imagine you'll want to head home, tell the family. We're going to be rich!”  
Varric walked Merrill home then headed to the Hanged Man. 

Hawke walked into Gamlen's to find her sister in Circle robes and Knight-Captain Cullen standing there.  
Hawke narrowed her eyes at the Templar. “What's going on?”  
Mother looked at her with huge eyes.  
Bethany smiled grimly “Please don't do anything.”  
Cullen “Mistress Bethany is being taken to the Circle of Magi in the gallows.”  
Hawke's eyes glinted fiercely, fingers twitching towards her blades. “Over my dead body!”  
Bethany got between her and Cullen, whom she had advanced on, and said. “It's done! Don't make it any worse.”  
Hawke walked back, reining in her anger.  
Cullen “Consider yourselves fortunate. Her cooperation allows us to spare you the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage, this once.”  
Leandra “Oh, Bethany! What will happen to you?”  
Bethany “Don't worry, Mother, I'll be fine." She turned to her sister. "Look after her.”  
Hawke's eyebrows furrowed, and she gave her sister a nod. With that they walked out the door and Leandra fell to the floor, again. Hawke rushed over and held her crying mother. 

That night Fenris found Hawke standing in the doorway to his room.  
Hawke shakenly “Sorry for not knocking, I just figured it was better to come here.”  
Fenris waved her over. “It's fine. Better than what, exactly?”  
Hawke sat down and pulled her knees to her chest. “Better than laying siege to the Gallows to break my sister out.”  
Fenris brows furrowed “The Gallows?”  
Hawke clenched her jaw “I got home in time for Precious Knight-Captain Cullen to drag my baby sister to the Circle.”  
Fenris nodded, headed to the cellar and brought up a crate of wine. “Here.”  
Hawke grabbed the bottle, pulled the cork out with her teeth, and guzzled a fourth of the bottle. “Thanks.”  
Fenris “Better you be too drunk to stand than light the Gallows on fire.”  
Hawke sighed “Yeah.”  
Fenris “I'm sorry, your sister doesn't deserve that.”  
Hawke chuckled grimly. “You don't really think that, do you?”  
Fenris “You and your sister, have control like I'd never seen.”  
Hawke stood “You spent half your time trying to convince her to go to the circle!” She began pacing and drinking, tears streaming down her face, she chucked the bottle at the opposite wall from Fenris. Hawke fell to her knees and grabbed his arms. “I was supposed to protect her! To keep her safe! Father told me, I was in charge of the family and it was my job to protect the family! In five years one is dead the other In he circle, I failed, this was my job and I failed!  
The rest of the night was spent in silence, drinking wine while tears fell down Hawke's face. Fenris draped a blanket over her when she fell asleep in front of the fire.  
Fenris _'It's true, but the Circle here, your sister is too sweet for such a place. But she is strong enough to survive. You gave her that, every day you helped her get stronger, I saw that too.'_  
Hawke woke to the sun blinding her, and her head pounding. “Ugh.” She rolled over hiding her face in her arms. Fenris woke to Hawke's noise. He got up and took a health potion to her.  
“Hawke, drink this?”  
“Mmm.” Hawke took the potion and downed it in one gulp, then returned to her position on the floor. She spent the rest of the day hiding out in his mansion, not talking, just staring at the fire.

Leandra walked into The Hanged Man, her nose wrinkling at the smell, as she went to the bar.  
Leandra “Excuse me, Serah, I'm looking for my daughter.”  
Corff “That depends, who's your daughter?”  
Leandra “Hawke, she's friends with Messarre Tethras.”  
Corff “Varric's in the back, top of the stairs.”  
Leandra “Thank you.” She made her way to the back. She knocked on the doorway.  
Varric turned around “Mrs. Hawke! To what do I owe the pleasure?”  
Leandra “I was hoping you'd know where my daughter is.”  
Varric “Well, if she's not here, she's probably with Broody.”  
Leandra “Broody?”  
Varric “Oh, sorry. Fenris, she's probably with Fenris. Um, why are you looking for her?”  
Leandra explained what happened.  
Varric “Well, shit. I'm sorry about Sunshine.” 

Leandra left, with directions to Fenris', and made her way to Hightown. She knocked on the decrepit door, and it was answered by a confused elf with a greatsword in his hand.  
Fenris “Can I help you?”  
Leandra “Fenris? Yes, you must be, you fit Tala's description perfectly.”  
Fenris _'Description?' _“Hmm. You must be her mother?”__  
Leandra “Yes, Leandra. Is my daughter here?”  
Fenris “She is. This way.”  
Leandra saw her daughter staring into the fire, looking more lost than when her father died, she walked over and placed her hand on her back.  
Leandra “Oh, love, this isn't your fault.”  
Hawke looked up at her “…”  
Leandra “Oh, love, you're not going to talk?”  
Hawke sighed and shook her head.  
Leandra turned to Fenris. “Will it bother you to have my daughter stay here until she is ready to start talking.”  
Fenris blinked “I…no, but why?”  
Leandra sighed “Because I would prefer that my little girl stay here than running around the woods.”  
Fenris smirked “Yes, the forests around here are more dangerous than the ones she Is used to.”  
Leandra looked at him, surprised. Tala was a private person, she must trust this man. Leandra smiled and nodded. “Thank you. I'll bring some food by later today. Goodbye, Fenris. See you later, love.” She bent over and kissed her daughter's head. 

After Leandra left and Fenris secured the door he made his way back to his quarters, and took a seat next to Hawke.  
Fenris sighed. “I take it that not talking is normal for you, in this situation?”  
Hawke sighed. “Yes.”  
Fenris nodded. “Well, you may certainly stay here, If it will keep you from running off.”  
Hawke snorted. “I…Mother thought I was dead, so did Bethany, that's why this happened.”  
_‘Well, she's talking now…' _“Why did they think you dead?” Hawke sighed, crawled over to the crate of wine and grabbed the last bottle, and took a swig. “Bartrand told the others that there was a collapse, and feeling a responsibility for us finding his son, Bodahn found and told mother.”  
Fenris “I see. That must have been difficult for them, thinking you dead.” __

____

Hawke shrugged and pulled her knees to her chest. She spoke no more. Not when her mother brought food, and not when Varric tried to get her to speak. Everyone came by his mansion to see Hawke, to try and get her to say something. But she would just stare into the fire and ignore them. One day, when Varric and Aveline came, she got fed up. She stood, walked over to the Wolf Wood tree, and used it to climb up onto the roof.  
Aveline sighed. “Hawke, your mother is worried, I'm worried. And I'm not going anywhere until you speak to me!”  
Hawke popped her head into the room and growled. “Mother is fine, she respects me, and knows what I need. Now go away!”  
Aveline's eyes widened, Hawke had never spoken to her like that before.  
Fenris nodded. “I believe it is time for you to leave.”  
Aveline sighed. “Fine.”  
Fenris “And tell the others to stop coming by, she came here to be alone, let her do so.”  
Aveline nodded and made for the door.  
Varric rubbed his head. “Don't worry Broody, I'll get the word out, we'll leave her be for a bit.”  
After the door was locked and the trap in place, Fenris walked back to his room. “They're gone, you can come out now.”  
Hawke dropped into the room through a hole in the roof.  
Fenris walked over to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Hawke pulled him close and hugged him tightly. Fenris froze, unsure what to do.  
Fenris patted her back, awkwardly, as he felt her shaking slightly. _'She might run off for this, but…' _“Hawke, why do you feel so guilty over this?”__


	25. Chapter 25

Hawke was quite for a while, but after she stopped shaking, she pulled away and sat in front of the fire.   
Hawke sighed “Because, Father would have done a better job, and it's my fault he's not here.”  
Fenris took a seat beside her. “What do you mean, Hawke?”  
Hawke took a deep breath. “We were out, deep in the forests surrounding Lothering practicing spells. He had wanted for me to practice with electricity magic. He had to, because I'm a sensitive.” She took a shuddering breath to calm herself. “One of my spells, I lost concentration, and it leapt towards him. I tried to redirect it, and was successful, but it went into a nearby dead tree.”   
“Hawke…”  
“I told you, platitudes, I know who's to blame.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, and neither moved.

A few days later, Fenris woke to find Hawke missing from her post by the fire. He heard a noise coming from the next room.  
Hawke was there, swinging her daggers, going through battle stances.   
“Hello.”  
Hawke stopped and smiled softly at him. “Morning.”  
“Feeling better?”  
Hawke nodded. “Want to join?”  
Fenris nodded and grabbed the practice weapons she had brought over months ago, for this purpose. She relinquished her blades in favor of blunted ones, and they began. As always they danced and parried, swung and dodged until they were both worn out and panting. 

After they were resting in his room. Fenris sat close to the fire, and Hawke stretched out on the bench.  
Hawke stretched her arms above her head, arching her back off the bench as she did so. The linen breeches and tunic she wore stretched with her. Fenris, without realizing, traced the curves of her body as he pondered why she had come to him. Hawke caught his gaze and bit her lip, unsure what to do, and why she was enjoying it.   
Fenris shook his head and looked into her eyes, confused by the flush dotting her features. “I have a question, if you will indulge me?”  
Hawke smiled softly “You can ask, but I won't promise to answer.”  
Fenris chuckled “Fair enough…Hmm. Why did you come here, Hawke? You could have gone anywhere.”  
Hawke's smile fell as she contemplated his question. “Hmm. I guess... I don't really know. Before, I always sought out solitude or wolves.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed. “I am neither.”  
Hawke chuckled lightly. “I don't know, you certainly are a bit like a wolf.”  
Fenris frowned “What do you mean?”  
Hawke sighed “You know how to sit in silence, or just let me sulk instead of trying to make me change how I do this.” She waved her hands up and down, to signify 'this'. “You lend me your strength just by sitting next to me. I guess, maybe, I came here because I knew you wouldn't make me talk if I didn't want to…and because you can sit in silence, but still be there.”  
Fenris turned his face to the fire. “Hmm.”  
Hawke chuckled lightly “I told you, I don't really know, it's just a guess. Maybe I came cause you're cute.”  
Fenris gave a small giggle before coughing, and turned more fully to the fire. Hawke got up and walked over to him, and crouched down in front of him. “Thank you, Fenris.”  
Fenris looked into her eyes and nodded, a slight blush tinged his cheeks.   
Hawke stood. “I'm going to go see Mother. I'll see you at the Hanged Man tonight?”   
Fenris nodded, and she walked out expertly undoing the trap.

Hanged Man.   
Anders waved his hands “I can't believe she let her sister be dragged to the circle!”   
Isabela cracked him over the head. “Hush up you, in fact, weren't you supposed to make sure that didn't happen?”  
Anders ducks his head, just as they see Hawke walk into the tavern. She walks to the bar and orders from Corff. Just as she gets handed two drinks Fenris walks in.  
Anders groans “What is he doing here?”  
Isabela “Because of Hawke, obviously. Why, are you jealous?”  
Anders mumbles under his breath as the pair walk up.   
Hawke bit her lip. “Hi.”  
Varric spread his arms open. “Sparky! Thank the Maker you're here, someone needs to keep the Rivani occupied.”  
Hawke chuckled “And how am I more qualified for that than you my storytelling friend?”  
Varric chuckled “Because, I'm tired of her staring at my chest! Let her stare at yours for the night.”  
Hawke chuckled and took her usual seat between Varric and Fenris. Her smile fell when she looked at the empty seat opposite her. Fenris nudged her foot with his under the table.  
Hawke smiled at Varric. “Varric, my fine dwarven friend, have you any parchment?”  
Varric raised an eyebrow “Is that a real question Hawke?”  
Hawke got up and grabbed some parchment and a quill. When she sat down she looked a the table. “I swear, stop being so weird, I'm fine.” She gave them an easy smile, and Varric nearly believed her, the others took it at face value and started back in on their card game. After the round was over Fenris was dealt in and Hawke was scribbling on her paper.   
Aveline joined them an hour later, and started “Hawke?”  
Hawke smiled at her. “It's fine, Avie, come sit let the pirate take your money.”

About an hour or so later, no one was treating Hawke any different anymore. Hawke smiled softly at her friends, all sizing up each other and their own hands. This was the other reason she didn't play, she liked watching them engaged and oblivious to her eyes. Fenris was an exception, he always knew when she was looking at him, he seemed to soften up his stance at those times. Hawke switched to a new piece of parchment, and began sketching out Fenris' profile. 

The round was coming to an end, and Hawke could tell, Fenris was going to win. Hawke could always tell when he had a great hand, this miniscule smirk made its way on his face, it took knowing him to see it. What Hawke hadn't noticed was the fact that Varric was watching her watch Fenris, and the small smile she had when she did.

The end of the night came, Anders and Aveline had left an hour ago, Isabela had gone down to find a bedmate for the night, and Varric was walking Merrill home. Hawke and Fenris were the only ones standing in Varric's suite.   
Hawke chuckled “It's going to be strange sleeping at Gamlen's tonight.”  
Fenris nodded “Indeed, I had just gotten used to your snoring.”  
Hawke lightly swatted his on the arm, acting affronted. “I do not snore!”  
Fenris kept his face neutral. “You are asleep, how would you know?”  
Hawke stared at him, until she saw the corner of his mouth come up the slightest bit. “You're joking!”  
Fenris smirked “Have a goodnight, Hawke.”  
Hawke wrapped her arms around him, for the briefest moment. “You too, Fenris. See you for lunch?”  
Fenris nodded as she walked away. Once he was alone Fenris gathered her drawings, putting them in his pocket without looking at them, before he made his way home.

After Fenris checked everything in the house, making sure no one had been inside, he settled in his room. After removing his armor he pulled out the pictures and looked at them. One was of Bethany, sitting in the Hanged Man and gazing wistfully at Anders. The next was of his room, the Wolf Wood tree in focus. The last was of him, he was holding cards and had a small smirk on his mouth. Fenris stared at the one of him for awhile, it looked so peaceful, that he wondered if she was really drawing him. He shook his head at put the pictures inside the same book as the others. Which made him wonder why he kept them in the first place?

Hawke walked into Gamlen's hovel and kissed her mother's sleeping head before she pulled her pallet in front of the fire. As she watched the flames sputter and jump she fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of Fenris.

One month later. 

Hawke had gotten enough money, and her mothers talk with the Viscount had gone well enough, to allow her to buy the estate back. She asked Fenris, Varric and Isabela to help her give the slavers the boot. The fight was hard, they had replenished their numbers since the last time Hawke had been there. After the bodies had been drug out Hawke began to look around. She opened the door to a room and stopped in her tracks. It was a ballroom, the pillars had chains anchored to them and there were vicious whips lining the wall next to her. A breath stuttered out of her, she had expected bad, but this was horrific. She wanted to leave, to run from this room or burn it down, but her legs were stuck. Fenris came up behind her, and he had expected this, but it still made him ridged. Fenris, who was adept enough to notice when a memory had its hooks in your head, grabbed Hawke by the arm and pulled her away from the room and into another room he shut the door behind him.   
Hawke sighed “I'm sorry, I didn't think, I shouldn't have brought you here.”  
Fenris looked at her. “I knew what would lie here, Hawke, I came because I wished too.”  
Hawke sighed “I didn't. This…this is normal with slavers?”  
Fenris nodded “Yes. Are you all right?”  
Hawke looked at him a moment before she caught his meaning. “You mean, because of..? I'm fine.”  
Fenris scrutinized her face. “Hawke.”  
Hawke chuckled, eyes slightly wet. “Another reason not to throw inane balls.”

The estate was cleaned up and cleaned out before Hawke allowed her mother to set foot in her childhood home. It takes some time for the estate to be ready, but a month later had Hawke and Leandra moving in. 

Hawke is having a welcome estate party, as she calls it, as an excuse to gather her friends and get them drunk. A week before the date, Kirkwall sees it's first snow in years.   
Fenris is glaring at the white fluff when there's a knock on his door. Fenris smirked, Hawke, she was the only one who knocked anymore.   
Fenris opened the door to a furiously grinning Hawke, and a fist full of snow in his face. Hawke laughed uproariously, and grabbed another ball of snow and threw it. Fenris dodged that one and for some reason, he couldn't place, decided to beat her at her own game.   
As Hawke was giggling she got pelted with a snowball. She looked at Fenris, who just smirked with a raised eyebrow, narrowed her eyes and said. “That's it! Snowball fight!”

Varric was walking up the steps from Darktown, coming back from visiting Blondie, and came across the most unusual sight he had ever seen. Hawke and Fenris were on opposite sides of the Chantry courtyard, throwing snowballs at each other, and the elf was actually smiling.   
Hawke chuckled as she threw a snowball at Varric, and hit him square in the face, the snow falling in his shirt.  
Varric shuffled, trying to get the snow out. “Bloody nug-licker, Hawke!”  
Hawke giggled adorably, then grabbed Fenris. “Retreat!”  
The two of them sprinted off, leaving Varric dumbfounded and confused. Hawke finally stopped running when they were in the alcove above the market stands.   
Hawke sighed “That was fun! Maker I haven't done that for years!”  
Fenris chuckled “So is this what Ferelden's usually use snow for?”  
Hawke chuckled and sighed. “Sometimes, mostly when you're little. Father would wake us up early in the morning, when the snow first fell, get us all bundled up and have a snowball fight.”  
Fenris “Who won?”  
Hawke sighed “That depended on what team I was on.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow “So, you always won?”  
Hawke chuckled “No, me and father would win, or me and Carver. But if I was with Bethany, I lost, she always felt bad about hitting someone so she missed on purpose.”  
Fenris nodded “Well, it certainly was an… interesting experience.”  
Hawke cocked her head. “First snowfall, by any chance?”  
Fenris eyed her suspiciously “Yes…”  
Hawke giggled “I knew it!”  
Fenris shook his head “Is that why you did all this, because I'd never seen snow?” Hawke shook her head and looked out to the snow piles around the market. “No. I just thought, if it's your first snow, it would make things more fun. Besides, who else would throw snowballs at me?”  
Fenris chuckled “Well, I can't feel my fingers, perhaps this is a good time to go inside.”  
Hawke smiled “Yes, but you have to do it right.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow “And how is that?”  
Hawke smiled brightly “I'll show you!”

She drug him to her estate and sat him down in the study, and the blazing fire took some of the chill from his limbs. Hawke sighed as she took the seat next to him, and then she handed him a warm mug.  
Fenris eyed the amber liquid suspiciously. “What is this?”  
Hawke smiled “Cider, the adult kind.”  
Fenris chuckled and took a drink, he found that what the fire missed the drink warmed. “So, you always drink cider after being in the snow?”  
Hawke inhaled and smiled. “Only after snowball fights. Mother always had some waiting for us when we came back inside, the non-adult kind for us kids, of course.”  
Fenris nodded and they spent the rest of the evening in a contented silence. Hawke revisited old, cherished memories and Fenris contemplating snowballs and snowfalls.


	26. Chapter 26

The party had been going about an hour. Everyone, even Anders, was enjoying themselves. Fenris held a wine glass in his hand, watching as Hawke, with her own wine glass, stared into a corner biting her lip and grinning. Fenris watched, with a curiosity at her level of inebriation, as she sat her glass down and climbed onto a table. Reaching up on her tiptoes, she put her hands in the corner and coaxed a spider into her palm. Hawke jumped down from the table, grinning, and approached Anders. Anders was in a debate with Aveline, and he took no heed of Hawke's approach, Aveline frustrated and wanting to hit the mage took no notice either. Hawke leveled her hand with Anders neck, and gently blew on the spider. The spider took the hint and jumped to Anders without a second thought. Hawke biting her lip hard, to keep from laughing, backs away to pick up her wine glass. 

Anders is in the middle of a word when he feels something moving in his robes, he shifts and thinks it gone. Hawke walks to Fenris, clutching her hand to her mouth.   
Fenris smirked and whispered. “What did you do?”  
Hawke whispered back. “It's not poisonous, but it will be hilarious.”  
Anders starts shifting and shaking, he can feel something skittering across his skin, he starts doing a little dance trying to get whatever it is out.   
Hawke starts giggling silently. “It's not as funny as convincing him about a ghost that tickles your skin before it kills you, but it's enough.”  
Anders starts screeching and spinning around like a crazy person, Merrill is worried but everyone else is laughing at his antics.   
Varric “And here I thought Justice made Blondie incapable of being fun.”  
Anders “There's something in my robes!” he starts stripping himself down, shaking his body, and trying to dislodge whatever is in his robes.  
By this point Hawke is doubled over in laughter, clenching her stomach, holding onto Fenris just to stay standing.   
When Anders finally pulls his shirt free, Isabela cheers, and he sees a spider crawl out of it across the floor.  
Anders “Andraste's flaming knicker-weasels! How did a spider get in my shirt?”  
Hawke falls to the floor, in a heap, laughing like a maniac.   
Hawke “I..” she busts out laughing “Did…it!” she keeps laughing, while Varric turns to Isabela.   
Varric “Rivani, did you dose Hawke again?”  
Isabela puts her hands up. “I'm innocent…of that anyhow.”  
Fenris pulls Hawke off the floor, tears streaming down her face, as her laughing starts to slow.   
Gamlen walks in to his niece hanging onto some weird elf, laughing her arse off, and a half naked man scowling at her. “I should have just stayed home.” He grumbles, but by then Leandra has taken notice and ushered him inside.   
Leandra “Gamlen, you came!” wrapping her arms around him.  
Gamlen “To a blighted crazy house, why is that man naked?”  
Leandra chuckled “Oh, Tala, put a spider down his shirt.”  
Gamlen “Well, I came, I'm leaving.”  
Hawke “If it isn't my favorite uncle!” she threaded her arm in his pulling him inside. 

Gamlen found the buxom pirate attractive, and the dwarf tolerable. Though he was wary of the way the strange elf in spikes kept looking around, like expecting an attack. He stayed only as long as he was trapped by his sister and niece before he made his way back to his Lowtown home. He found things seemed empty, somehow, in the small house that night.

Anders refused to talk to her for hours, and Isabela kept trying to get her to do it to anyone she wanted to see naked, which was most of the people there.  
After the spider prank, Varric had begun narrating Hawke and her movements throughout the party. “'Hawke grabbed the Broody elf and insisted he try the new wine.'” It got so bad that at one point, Hawke, hogtied and gagged him.  
Isabela looking on sligghtly aroused. “Oh…sweet thing, where did you learn to do that?”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow “The farm, Isabela.”  
Isabela “Mmmmm…”  
Hawke chuckled “You already have a story written in your head, don't you?”  
Isabela “Mmm.”

Aveline and Leandra chatted amicably. Varric came up and tapped on Hawke's shoulder, gesturing to the courtyard. Hawke follows him.  
When they are alone Varric speaks, hesitantly. “You wanted to know who turned Sunshine in?”  
Hawke scrutinized his face. “Yes…”  
Varric sighed handed her a parchment and walked back inside. As Hawke unfolded it, her throat swelled shut in horror, she recognized the looping scrawl that dictated where to find an apostate. Hawke sat on a bench and tried to calm her breathing. Fenris found her like that, and at first when he entered she glared at him with accusing eyes, before they recognized him and softened.  
Fenris shifted, uncertain what he should do. “Would you like some privacy?”  
Hawke contemplated for a moment, before she sighed, shook her head and patted the seat next to her. He hesitantly started, then found a seat at her side.  
Hawke sighed “Varric found out who turned in Bethany.”  
Fenris looked at her, she seemed defeated not angry. “Would you like some help in dispatching of them?”  
Hawke gave a short sharp bark of laughter. “No, Fenris, though I appreciate the offer. Bethany wrote them anonymously, told them exactly what she looked like and where to find her.”  
Fenris' brows furrowed “Why would she do that?”  
Hawke leaned back on her hands and stared up at the stars. “I think because she thought I was dead. She was afraid that no one would be around to protect her.”  
Fenris assumed she meant 'protection from Templars' but something in the way she said it made him question. “Protect her from what?”  
Hawke looked at him, surprised he had asked that. “From herself. We had a deal, you know, to kill the other if we ever….faltered.”  
Fenris looked at her incredulously. “You would kill your sister? “  
Hawke sighed and looked back to the stars. “It would have killed me to do so, but she would not be my sister then.”  
They were silent for a bit, both absorbed in thought, gazing at the stars.   
Hawke shifted nervously. “Fenris, can ask you a favor?”  
Fenris smirked “You may ask, I make no promises to agree.”  
Hawke chuckled lightly. “Fenris, if I…” taking a deep breath she looked him straight in the eyes. “If I fall, to blood magic or demons, will you kill me?”  
Fenris answered atomically, without hesitation, having had decided to do so the night they met “Yes.” He is surprised at the soft smiled that lights on her lips, an the grateful tone when she speaks.  
Hawke stood up, ready to rejoin the party, she turned to face him. “Good, I'm glad.” Then turned and walked out of the courtyard, leaving him with his thoughts.   
As Fenris looked at the stars, he realized, he found that he trusted her more. While mages will swear up and down that they'd never turn to forbidden magic, the Hawke sisters had plans in place to protect others from themselves. Not just plaintive promises, but a real plan should the inevitable occur. Though, maybe, it wasn't so inevitable for everyone? Fenris shook his head to clear his thoughts and headed back to the joyous celebration that was happening inside.

Hawke was blushing furiously, while the others laughed.   
Hawke “I was six!”  
Leandra chuckled “Oh, it was so adorable.”  
Hawke “Please stop talking….now!”  
Leandra “But you looked so cute, with your little stick declaring Ferelden free!”  
Hawke hid her hands in her face, and moaned.

The evening came to a close late in the night, and Hawke insisted everyone sleep at the estate that night. With most of them being drunk, with the exception of Anders who glared at his mug of juice all night, and tired, they acquiesced. Hawke led everyone to a room, where they said goodnight before crashing into a bed.

Hawke woke in the small hours of the morning, breathing hard with a sheen of cold sweat covering her. After changing into some fresh nightclothes and donning her housecoat, she made her way to the study. Hawke had hoped to find a book to distract her, instead, she found Fenris with his head held in his hands. It was a testament to her skills and his level of distraction that she made it to his side without his notice.

Hawke squatted, wary to touch him, knowing how violent she was when the wounds were still fresh before she had learned to temper her reactions. Fenris had not that luxury, being on the run and hunted as he was. “Fenris?”  
Fenris flinched at the sound, he had noticed she was there when he saw her feet, but her voice sounding after so much quite had jolted him. He did not speak, couldn't meet her eyes, he knew she would see all too well what hid beneath.   
Hawke understood, she had nightmares, and some nights they left her too raw to speak. So she sat down next to him on the couch, far enough away that he had space, but close enough to feel her presence. Hawke hoped this enough, it had been for her on those nights. They stayed like that until his breathing calmed and some tension eased from his back and shoulders.   
“Hawke?” his voice croaked uncomfortably, to raw and unused.  
“I'm here Fenris.” She said softly.   
This time Fenris laid his head gently on her shoulder.   
“Would it be to much, right now, for me to stroke your hair?” her voice scarce above a whisper.   
Fenris couldn't bid the words free, so wordlessly, he nodded his consent. Hawke's hand came up to gently run through the strands of his hair. She massaged her fingers into his scalp, and separated the locks, soothing motions that eased the remaining tension from his form. They sat there, his head on her shoulder and her hand in his hair, until dawn began to peek through the windows. Wordlessly they rose and returned to their respective rooms.


	27. Chapter 27

The next months passed in semi-quite contentment. Filled with long nights at the Hanged Man, and drunker friends. Days filled with sparring matches with a certain elf, and more than a few wine-soaked nights. Hawke and Fenris took turns coming to the other. 

The first time Fenris showed up at her estate, after the party, he shifted uncomfortably and handed her a bottle of Aggregio Pavali. “In case you need to redecorate.”  
Hawke had been frustrated, though as she laughs whole-heartedly at Fenris' joke, she can't remember why. “Maker, you have the best timing.” She motions for him to come inside.   
Fenris tilts his head. “Oh, something wrong?”  
Hawke sighed “Just bloody nobles….would it be wrong to set them on fire?”  
Fenris pursed his lips and gave a thoughtful look for several moments. “No.”  
Hawke chuckled and shook her head. “You know, Varric would have a heart attack if he ever realized how funny you really are.”  
Fenris smirked “Then, we should endeavor not to enlighten him.”  
Hawke leads him into the study, where she sat the wine down on the desk. “Would you like to spar, I find it's a slightly more enticing idea than setting nobles aflame.”  
Fenris chuckled and nodded. “Anytime, Hawke.” He shuffled his feet nervously, looking at the wall over her head. “That was, in fact, the reason I came.”  
Hawke smiled “You're always welcome to do so, Fenris, Maker knows I've shown up on your step looking for the same thing.”   
She nodded to the courtyard, where he was surprised to find she had an identical set of practice weapons to the ones she had taken to his place. 

There were many times Hawke would show up at his place, knocking on the door as always, and declare she was bored. The first time Fenris offered a sparring match, but she shook her head. Insisted that the three of them, Fenris, Hawke, and Wolf, go to the Wounded Coast kill bandits and see the sights.

Hawke had been sitting in the garden, book in hand as she soaked in the sun, when Isabela sauntered in.   
Isabela “Hawke, I have found the best shop, you simply must see.” She grabbed Hawke and dragged her out of the estate, stopping only long enough to grab Hawke's coin purse.  
Hawke found herself in a shop filled with delicate lace and silk small-clothes. “Bela, what are we doing here?”  
Isabela smirked. “I have seen your dreary small-clothes, Hawke, were getting new ones.”  
Hawke blanched. “You, when?”  
Isabela was sorting through a pile of black lacey things. “Huh? Oh, last week, you weren't home when I came by.”  
Hawke bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling at the pirate without boundaries. “And you thought you'd just help yourself to my small-clothes?”  
Isabela looked affronted. “I didn't steal them! Andraste's ass, how bad an opinion do you have of me?”  
Hawke chuckled. “Fine I surrender, I'll buy you new small-clothes. “  
Isabela smiled a sultry little thing. “I'll keep that in mind, sweet thing, but this is all for you…today.”  
Hawke snorted “How generous.”  
Isabela walked over and grabbed a pair of red lacey small-clothes, and held them out to Hawke, with a satisfied look on her face. “I know, I'm such a giver. Try these on.” She tossed the garment and a matching breast-band to her.   
Hawke shook her head and went to the changing room. She had been friends with the pirate long enough to know, the only way out was through. When Hawke had them on she was surprised at how remarkably well they fit, and how much she liked them.

When she told Isabela that they fit, and left the fitting room, the pirate handed her a dozen more pairs in varying colors. By the end of the day, Hawke had an arsenal of new lace and silk small-clothes and found she rather enjoyed the fact. After that day, she didn't wear her old small-clothes anymore, finding a strange satisfaction wearing silk and lacy things under her armor. Isabela did take her up the offer to buy her small-clothes, but the pirate felt the need to show Hawke how every pair looked on her. Every few months Isabela would show up and drag Hawke on another shopping spree, but to Hawke's relief, they didn't shop for more small-clothes, there was always something new to buy.

Hawke spent two days a week in Darktown, helping Anders in his clinic. His surprise the first time he saw her patch up a nasty wound, her ability, and skill, made him smile.   
Anders put a hand on her shoulder. “I had no idea you were such a fine healer.”  
Hawke smiled “My father often had a small apothecary clinic, to help pad the income from the farms. I enjoyed spending time with him, bandaging people, healing them."  
Anders stared, not used to Hawke sharing with him, and surprised at her joy in healing. “Perhaps, I could requisition you, I could always use more help, skilled help.”   
Hawke smiled softly. “On two conditions.”  
Anders looked at her suspiciously, Justice angry she would require such for helping those in need, but Anders managed to quell him. “And those would be?”  
Hawke placed her palms flat on the table. “We don't argue, it's not good for the patients, not about mages or anything.”  
Anders chuckled, not even Justice found fault in her request. “And the second thing?”  
Hawke chuckled “You stop being so stubborn, and let me bring supplies or money, to help stock this place with what it needs.”  
Anders acquiesced, to both conditions, finding no fault In her logic. He found enjoyed her presence, even as he loathed it, and found himself torn between setting her on fire and kissing her breathless.

Hawke spent time with Merrill, weaving flower crowns and discussing history. Hawke was intrigued in all the stories and elven lore Merrill knew, and Merrill was ecstatic to have someone to share it with.

Aveline came by for dinner weekly, chatting amicably with Leandra and Hawke. Leandra always making her promise to keep Hawke safe.  
Hawke protested, a glass of spiced wine in her hand. “I'm a grown woman, and I'm very capable of taking care of myself.”  
Leandra chuckled “Yes, but I am your mother, I'm allowed to worry about you.” A moment of thought before she added. “And, you have a knack for getting into trouble.”  
Hawke snorted “And out of it.”  
Aveline “She does have a point there.”  
Hawke “Who does?”  
Aveline smirked “Both of you.”

 

Hawke had time to renovate the old barren courtyard into a lush garden. Vibrant greens, and flowers of various colors were tended and nurtured. Hawke even had set aside a piece for an herb garden, one thing she was grateful to have again, and between all the time spent with friends it flourished. Of course, having magic helped, in that respect. She was tending the garden when a whistle sounds behind her.  
Varric chuckled “Nice place Sparky.”  
Hawke sat back on her heels, wiped her hands off. “Thanks, it is nice to do something so…clean.”  
Varric snickered “Clean? You're covered in dirt.”  
Hawke smiled “I've been covered in dirt most of my life, at least it's not blood.”  
Varric “Hmm. Fair point. Though I thought you liked the bloodshed.”  
Hawke sighed “I enjoy battle, the movement, not the end results.”  
Varric puts his hands up, placating. “Hey, you feel like coming to the Hanged Man? Broody will be there.”  
Hawke's mouth twitched slightly at his mentioning the elf, and Varric watched, taking notes.   
Hawke chuckled “Do I have to play?”  
Varric “Nah. I'd rather do the fleecing, thanks.”  
Hawke chuckled lightly. “All right, let me get washed up, and I'll see you there.”  
Varric nodded and left with a grin, now he had to make sure the elf would come.  
Bodahn had already filled her tub with water, she had asked him to when she started on the garden, and Hawke heated it up before she got into it. Hawke headed to the Hanged Man after she clean and changed.

Varric was inside the decrepit mansion. “Broody! You here?”  
Fenris grumbled, annoyed that the dwarf had barged in, once again. “What do you want, dwarf?”  
Varric walked into his room. “You at The Hanged Man, tonight.”  
Fenris stared at the dwarf. “No.”  
Varric “Oh, come on, Broody.” Smiling broadly “Hawke will be there.”  
Fenris narrowed his eyes at the dwarf, sighed. “Fine.”  
Varric left, and waiting till he was in the Chantry courtyard, started chuckling. He had found an easy way to get them to The Hanged Man, so long as they never found out. He shuddered at the thought.


	28. Chapter 28

Hawke showed up at the Hanged Man, wearing her black Dragon-scale leathers without the chest-plate, weaving in between the drunk customers to get to Varric's suite. When she arrived the others were already neck deep in a game of Wicked Grace. Hawke chuckled and Fenris nodded at her presence. She took her customary seat between him and Varric. The night wore on.

Anders turned to Isabela with a thoughtful look. “So I keep thinking I know you from somewhere.”  
Isabela leaned over the table, putting her ample cleavage on display. “You're Ferelden, right? Ever spend time at the pearl?”  
Anders face lights up with recognition. “That's it! You really liked that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? What was her name?”  
Isabela “The Lay Warden?”  
Anders “That's right! I think you were there the night I-“  
Isabela leaned forward more. “Oh! Were you the runaway mage who did the electricity thing? That was nice….”  
Hawke's face scrunched up. “Please stop talking….Now.”  
Varric “This isn't something I needed to know, about either of you.”  
Aveline “Whore.”  
Isabela “Man chin.”  
Merrill “Flowers.”  
Everyone's eyes flew to Merrill.   
Merrill blinked “What? I thought we were saying random words. Oh, did I miss something dirty?”  
Hawke and Varric busted out laughing, while Aveline shook her head and Isabela whispered 'Oh, kitten'. 

The night was fairly civil. Anders begrudged his inability to drink, Isabela flirted with everyone, Merrill started weaving side to side with the state of her inebriation, Aveline was too interested in the game to lecture anyone, Fenris barely spoke to anyone save Hawke, Varric took notes and Hawke immortalized it on paper. And as always, Fenris snagged the drawings and tucked them away on his mantel. Hawke had found a strange group of people, but she enjoyed it. She had real friends, well less hairy ones who could talk, for the first time and she enjoyed spending time with them. Even when it ended up with her caked in blood and guts, sometimes they were even human, she had friends.   
Hawke had been starting off into space for awhile, with a fond smile on her lips. Fenris had noticed, but had chosen to not say anything, Varric was different.  
Varric “Hey, Sparky!”  
Hawke started “Huh, what?”  
Varric smirked “Care to share with the rest of the class?”  
Hawke chuckled “I was just thinking how this is the first time I've had people friends.”  
Isabela “Had people friends? What did you have tree friends, before, or something?”  
Hawke shook her head. “Not, trees, no. Animals, more specifically wolves. I'm used to hairier, quieter company.”  
Anders looked dumbfounded “You befriended wolves?”  
Hawke shrugged. “Family of apostates, didn't do much of making friends with things that could spill the secret.”  
Merrill “That's sweet and sad.”  
Hawke snorted. “No, not really. They were good friends, just not very talkative.”  
Varric “So you what, talked at a pack of wolves?”  
Hawke chuckled “I was a kid, I ran around and played with them….the pups. The adults were a bit weird to hang around, they kept trying to feed me raw meat and clean me.”  
Varric chuckled “Now that's a picture.”  
Anders “I can't believe you played with those creatures, they're dangerous!”  
Hawke frowned. “Only if they see you as a threat. They're not mindless, Anders.”  
Anders “Andraste's breath, they're wolves.”  
Hawke shrugged “So am I.”  
Anders gave her a confused look.  
Hawke sighed “Tala, my name, means little wolf. Father used to blame Mother for my affinity for wolves.” She chuckled.   
Anders eyes sparked, getting another piece of her past, he probed. “Why did he blame her?”  
Hawke smiled “It wasn't a real blame, he was just joking. She is the one who picked out my name, she wanted me to have a connection to my elven heritage.”  
Anders leaned forward about push farther, but Merrill popped up. “Really, you don't seem to know much about elven history?”  
Hawke chuckled “It was difficult to teach us something that they knew nothing about. Remember, Merrill, my father wasn't a Dalish elf, he only knew snippets of their history.”  
Merrill frowned “Right.”  
Hawke smiled softly at her. “Why so down? Now you get to impart me with all that knowledge that's bottled up inside you.”  
Merrill smiled, and swayed slightly. “Yes, and-and you will listen.”  
Hawke chuckled “I sure will. As will Wolf, he loves your stories about the Dread Wolf.”  
Merrill giggled adorably and Hawke made a mental note to cut her off at two mugs of ale from now on.  
Aveline stood. “This has been great, but I need to get back to the barracks.”  
Hawke got up and gave her a hug before she left, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek.   
Aveline grumbled “Hawke.” And wiped her cheek. Hawke just giggled and took her seat.   
Aveline rolled her eyes and hoisted Merrill out of her seat. “Come you lush, let's get you home.”  
Anders “I should be getting back as well, can I expect you tomorrow Hawke?”  
Hawke “Yeah, I'll be there.”  
With that, he said goodbye and left.  
Isabela “Hawke, have I told you how much I like your armor?”  
Hawke raised an eyebrow “No.” her eyes narrowed. “Why?”  
Isabela gave her a scorching look. “It's very nice.”  
Hawke blinked and sighed. “I'm not sleeping with you 'Bela.”  
Isabela pouted “Well, fine then. I guess I'm going to bed alone.” She huffed and sauntered off to her room.  
Varric waited until she was far enough away before he turned to Hawke. “So, you really played with wolves?”  
Hawke chuckled and took a drink of her ale. “Yes, Varric.”  
Varric “Did you talk to them?”  
Hawke rolled her eyes “Yes I spoke to them. Are you asking if I held conversations with them?” Varric nodded. “No. I couldn't understand their language, if they even have one, but in time I could communicate.”  
Varric placed his hand a pyramid, intrigued.   
“Wolves, like anything, have ways to communicate and in time I learned how to understand. I could never speak with them as I do you, but I was ableunderstand them.”   
Varric rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Interesting. But, why not make people friends too?”  
Hawke sighed “Varric, I think that turning into a wolf while running around with the village children would have tipped someone off, maybe.”  
Varric chuckled “Fair point, but what about when you got older?”  
Hawke shifted nervously “I just…” Fenris pressed his foot into hers and she cleared her throat. “I learned, the hard way, that trusting people was too risky.”  
Varric could sense a story, but he could tell she wasn't going to elaborate, so he backed off for now. “So, I guess we have a few things to un-teach you?”  
Hawke snorted “Un-teach me?”  
Varric chuckled “It's okay, sometimes, to trust someone.”  
Hawke sighed, and smiled softly “Yeah, I know. As much fun as this has been, I'm going to head home.”  
Varric “Sure, sure. Leave when it gets interesting.”  
Hawke chuckled “I spent all day in the dirt, the night here, I think I earned some sleep.”  
Varric chuckled “Yeah. Goodnight, Sparky.” He headed off to his bed.  
Hawke chuckled “I guess we're dismissed.”  
Fenris smirked “It would seem so.”  
Hawke “Walk with me?”  
Fenris nodded. Hawke left first, to settle her tab with Corff. Giving Fenris the time to snake her drawings, but what he didn't know was Varric had been watching. 

Varric had noticed how Hawke's drawings were always gone, and Norah said she hadn't touched them and Bethany said that both she and her sister didn't take them, he decided to see if he could figure out who took them. He found it fascinating that the broody elf waited until no one was looking to take the pictures. 

Hawke and Fenris walked back in silence until they got to Hightown.  
Hawke “I'm glad you came tonight.”  
Fenris “l wasn’t going to, but the dwarf insisted.”  
Hawke chuckled “Yeah, he did that to me too.”  
Fenris stopped and considered his next words.  
Hawke noticed his pause “Fenris?”  
Fenris blinked “Did you really understand wolves?”  
Hawke chuckled “Yes, it took several years, but I began to understand the nuances.”  
Fenris looked to the ground “Hmm.”  
Hawke smiled “What is it, I know that tone of hmm.”  
Fenris chuckled “My hmm’s have tones?”  
Hawke smirked “Yes, yes they do. Now, what do you want to ask?”  
Fenris began walking again “I'm uncertain how you were able to approach them in the first place. You said that they aren't mindless, but they do have a tendency to attack on site.  
Hawke “Yeah, they do, but they are used the two-legged creatures attacking them on site. Hmm, you know, if you think about it, it's like you and mages.”  
Fenris' brow furrowed, his voice taking on a slightly defensive tone. “What do you mean?”  
Hawke stopped and blinked at him, uncertain how she had managed to offend him. “That you are accustomed to mages acting a certain way, and you defend yourself accordingly.”  
Fenris' brows were furrowed as he considered her answer. “I suppose.” His tone thoughtful, not offended and Hawke breathed a sigh of relief. “That still does not answer my question.”  
Hawke chuckled “No, I suppose not. I could tell you my father's theories, if you want, but aside from that I don't know.”  
Fenris nodded “Very well, what do you know?”  
Hawke smiled softly “He had two of them. First: that my changing at such a young age, and the fact that I retained the abilities, made them see me as a wolf first and foremost. Which would be why they tried to care for me. Second: That I wasn’t scared of them myself, and therefore, didn't give them a reason to fear me. Because I didn't smell of fear, you know.”  
Fenris' brow remained furrowed. “They are certainly interesting theories.”  
Hawke chuckled and shrugged. “If you can think of anything else, I'm all ears.”  
Fenris “Hmm. Which one do you favor?”  
Hawke shrugged “I don't know, they could be true or not, but all I know is they aren't afraid of me. Or me of them.”  
They reached Hawke’s door. “Well, this is me. Goodnight, Fenris.”  
Fenris nodded. “Goodnight Hawke.” And made his way to his own door.

Hawke trudged up the stairs, flopped unceremoniously onto her bed, and went to sleep. For the first time in a long time, she woke the house screaming. Her mother standing prone in the doorway, wanting to go to her daughter, but knowing that waking her in such a state was dangerous.

Hawke woke her hands fisted in the blankets, a cold sweet running down her back, and shaking. It took her several long minutes to get her breathing back under control. After that she placed a sound ward on her room, so as not to worry the house if she had anymore bad nights. She was more than accustomed to dreaming about James, but she had been able to control herself well enough not to scream about it for while. Her mother asked If something happened to upset her, but she couldn't think of anything, she said no. Hawke saw her mother back to bed and, at her mother's insistence, curled up next to her. She fell back to sleep with her mother’s hands in her hair and rubbing her back.


End file.
